Wedding Etiquette Forum

Is this rude?

We're getting married in a very small town that has a few select places for weddings and the ONLY place I would like to have our reception at is an upstairs/downstairs venue. Meaning some people would be upstairs and some would be downstairs. No specific seating arrangements. I think it's rude and so I'm at the edge of my seat with this. But it's gorgeous!! I've already sacrificed so much ( I wanted to get married in a garden, he wants a catholic church. I wanted to get married close t we're were living now, he wants to get married in our home town.----and I gave in to both) Please HELP!! Let me know what you think of this idea.

Re: Is this rude?

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    ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited July 2010
    Why do you think assigned seating is rude?  In this case, I'd say it's more polite and necessary than ever...  What if all the downstairs tables are taken when your grandma or uncle with knee problems arrives?
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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    edited July 2010
    Can both upstairs & downstairs see you get married? If not, then very rude. If people will feel left out, then rude. It is hard to say w/o knowing the venue. But,  I think seating assignments are a must.

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    I think it is rude to have guests seated on 2 different floors.
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    I just went to a wedding that had an upstairs/downstairs reception venue, and TBH, it kind of sucked, just because you couldn't mingle well, all of the action took place upstairs and everyone was crowding in, making it really hot.

    The B&G did assigned seating for their immediate family. but not for the WP, which IMO was ridiculous since SEVERAL of the WP members ended up downstairs.

    I originally looked at a venue where the guests would be split up for the reception, and I'm glad that I decided against it. Everyone enjoyed being in the same room and being able to be a part of everything, while sitting in a seat, not standing up against the wall.
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    i would look for a different venue the next town over
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    I don't think having seating on two floors is a good idea at all
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    People want to see the guests of honor, if they can't they might be slighted.  I wouldn't do it.
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    The people on the floor WITHOUT the bride, groom, wedding party, wedding cake, dance floor, etc. will leave.

    Maybe that's your point.

    I know a guy who is a VP of a media company in Los Angeles and his bride is an atty in a big law firm.  He told me that if they got married in LA, some 400 people would come and that would be too many people to pay for.  So to cut costs, they planned a DW in Hawaii, still invited all 400 people, and only about 25 people came.  He told me this was perfect, because the bride's parents only had to pay for a 25-person reception, but the couple would still get gifts from the 400 people who were invited.

    So if you want gifts from everyone but you really wanted a smaller wedding and reception, you'll cut the number of reception participants in half by choosing this two-story reception venue.  Rude?  Sure.  But if that's the way to structure your wedding reception to get what you want, then it's your choice.
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    I wouldn't like going to a wedding where some of the guests were on a different floor. Our venue has many different rooms, it's a historic B&B, we had to keep our guest list under 70 so we could all be in one room.  I though it would be rude to have some people in one room and others in a different room. 
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    I attended a wedding on a small island off the coast of Maine, the ONLY venue was the town meeting hall, and the seating was like this.

    I was at one of the upstairs tables for dinner, and it was FINE. Bride and Groom spent some time and put together proper seating charts so all the people upstairs were really young and fun. We were pretty much ONLY there for dinner, then we went downstairs for dancing and drinks and whatnot, and what they did was after dinner, they cleared out the tables downstairs and moved a bunch of chairs around the edges of the room so people could sit down, and still watch dancing. It was fine, and it was a LOT of fun!!

    But if you do this, be SURE to do assigned seating!
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