Wedding Etiquette Forum

We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in?

So, we are getting married in a state park and many of my friends and family will be coming from out of town. We rented a 52 person cabin for a big sleep over so that people who are already having to pay to fly in wouldn't have to fork out anywhere from $50-100 a night to sleep in a hotel in New Orleans (not to mention all the driving would require a rental car- the park is about an hour and a half away from New Orleans Airport). I am very conscious that most of my friends and family can't afford to spend a lot. Neither can we.

We are al so on a tight budget. And no, I don't mean I spent a lot on food and my dress and had to cut corners elsewhere. I mean actually on a budget- doing bouquets ourselves, making a lot of the food (FI is a cook), making bouttonieres and the cupcake tower, and having it in a state park for cheap. Is there a way I can say that the cabin acommodations will cost $10 (that will cover both Friday and Saturday night) without souding completely cheap? I feel like this is more than acceptable for two nights of housing but I still feel weird. Do I have to just bite the bullet and cover this all myself?

Re: We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in?

  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
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    edited January 2010
    The amount you're asking for per guest almost seems too low to ask for anyone to pitch in...  $10/person is such a small amount that you kind of look cheap by not just covering it...  I understand that $10 x 52 adds up, though.

    I think it would be great if you could cover it.  But if not, I guess you could list it on your site or accommodations card as an option with the price.  It would be best if your guests paid the cabin-rental people directly, though.  I think it would be really weird for you to be the banker...
  • What happens if some of your guests decided they don't want to stay in the cabin?  I know a lot of my family would have been uncomfortable spending the entire weekend (from the minute they wake up until the minute they go to bed) with my in-laws.  On the same token, I wouldn't have wanted to spend every waking minute with either my family or my H's that weekend.
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  • I would FO SHO be booking a hotel room nearby.
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  • I think you could offer the cabin accomodations for $10, but know that not everyone will take you up on it. And you aren't hosting if you are charging.. you are merely offerring a deal on accomodations.

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  • I would say word of mouth to let them know about the cabin to begin with.  Something like, "we can rent a huge cabin for about $10 each if you want to stay with us." and see what you get.
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  • Honestly, I can think of a lot of situations in which I would be happy to take the cabin accomodations. Is this a close-knit and fun group? Will there be a bed for each person or do they need to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags? Is the cabin divided into rooms?

    Also, does the 52-person cabin cover your entire guest list?

    I also think word of mouth is the best way to circulate this one, to see how many of your guests would be willing to go in on that.
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  • OK - granted, I don't know your friends and family.  But there is no way I'd want to stay in a cabin with potentially 51 other people.  That would be a very uncomfortable experience for me and I probably wouldn't get any sleep.  So I would opt to stay in a hotel unless I was flat broke.  Then again, I don't really like "roughing it" in any way.

    Now to answer your question.  I think you could put something about the $10 on your accommodations card and your wedding website if you have one.  It will be awkward for your guests to have to pay you the $10, though.  Is there any way the park can take care of this part? 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_were-offering-lodginghow-ask-guests-pitch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14f7945f-c747-4eb8-a133-7a6bd1d5e8d2Post:d92bd322-da07-4a9d-831f-9d8f5cd48706">Re: We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you could offer the cabin accomodations for $10, but know that not everyone will take you up on it. And you aren't hosting if you are charging.. you are merely offerring a deal on accomodations.
    Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

    This is what I was thinking. So you could phrase it like a group rate at a hotel, "You can stay here for discounted rate, $10/night." Only if not everyone stays there you'd be spending unnecessary funds. They don't need to know you're covering the rest, they'll just think it's a group rate, which would make the $10 seem like a great deal as opposed to weird, like Expat said.



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  • I would gauge interest first.  I know me and my H would probably much rather have our own hotel room than share a 50 person house with 50 people.  How many rooms are there?  How many bathrooms?  I would see if you have enough people to be interested before you book it.  That would be a great time to say something like "We can reserve this cabin for just $10 per person if we have enough interst.  There are also xyz hotels available in the area for an average of $100 per night"

    If you've already booked it, then I would just list it on the accommodations card as one of the hotel options. 

    Extra large cabin (sleeps 53)
    $10 per night
    Please let bride know if you plan to stay in the cabin

    XYZ Hotel
    Address and phone number
    $100 per night

    Something like that, use your judgement.  I think it's fine to expect people to pay, I just wonder how much interest you get.  I know my friends wouldn't use it but my family might.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_were-offering-lodginghow-ask-guests-pitch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14f7945f-c747-4eb8-a133-7a6bd1d5e8d2Post:c10d5a65-2784-4567-9d48-241915bf9913">Re: We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would FO SHO be booking a hotel room nearby.
    Posted by KentuckyKate[/QUOTE]

    WTF? Did you just seriously say "FO SHO"? I can tell you're a newb.
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  • I am fascinated by this 52 person cabin. Is it like an orphanage with bunk beds lined up? Or is it like a reality tv house with a bunch of rooms with bunk beds all in it?
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  • I would never stay in a 52 person cabin.  If I couldn't afford a hotel, I wouldn't go. 

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  • I would stay in a cabin... but for a ski weekend, not a wedding weekend.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_were-offering-lodginghow-ask-guests-pitch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:14f7945f-c747-4eb8-a133-7a6bd1d5e8d2Post:fee9e503-6c44-4b4c-b452-f87b47f51065">Re: We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in? : WTF? Did you just seriously say "FO SHO"? I can tell you're a newb.
    Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

    LOL... not a newb.  Check my "joined on" date.  I said FO SHO jokingly for emphasis.  Sorry it fell flat.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_were-offering-lodginghow-ask-guests-pitch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14f7945f-c747-4eb8-a133-7a6bd1d5e8d2Post:353503a5-3c9f-4e8d-a103-19133f05a9e7">Re: We're Offering Lodging...how to ask guests to pitch in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am fascinated by this 52 person cabin. Is it like an orphanage with bunk beds lined up? Or is it like a reality tv house with a bunch of rooms with bunk beds all in it?
    Posted by zippityb[/QUOTE]

    My first thought too. I would not stay in a 52 person cabin, but I hate camping & close quarters. (Now a log cabin with a big comfy bed & private hot tub, yes)

    List it on your wedding website or as an accommodation option on that invite insert.

    Also my question is what happens if you only get 15 people in it? Does the price per person go up? (I'm assuming so)  So what will you do? Make them pay more or will you cover it with them still only paying only $10.

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  • How do you have less then 200 posts if you're not FO SHO a newb?
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  • I think I lost posts with the format change, but I don't know.  I've never really looked at my post count.  Maybe I just read more than post.

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  • edited January 2010
    I don't think this is inherently a bad idea. If you're going to do it, though, is there someone you can trust (your MOH, BM) who would be the middleman for the money that comes in? I think it might look better to have a member of the bridal party taking care of the money if the management can't do that for you.

    And, Kate, don't worry about the newb thing. Look at my join date and my post count. Meh.
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