Engagement Gifts

bride2beNCG

I know it is not appropriate to use wedding gifts before the wedding, but what is the etiquette around engagement gifts? Should those be saved for after the wedding as well? Or can the couple use them right away?

courtski2004

Engagement gifts are meant to be opened and used immediately, since they were given to you to celebrate that particular occasion.

achiduck

You're fine to use engagement gifts before the wedding.

The whole theory behind not using shower/wedding gifts until the wedidng has occured is that if by chance the wedding doesn't take place you need to return the gifts. If you use them, you just need to be prepared to pay back the giver should the engagement be called off.

bridalmarch

What about checks you get at the shower? It seems like it might mess someone up to hold off on cashing them until after the wedding. Do you cash them and just not spend the money? 

bridalmarch

I was just at an obscenely large shower and she got several checks. There were easily 100-125 people there. And she opened Every.Single.Gift. 

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-gifts-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153980ae-887a-4227-8095-6146df1a2e9ePost:8faa0670-081f-4776-acaa-ff2c60fc8eb2">Re: Engagement Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, deposit the checks, but don't spend until after the wedding. That being said, who gives cash at a shower?
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

I got three checks and one envelope with cash in it at my shower. I was surprised, but not unpleasantly so, of course. Two of the checks were from my mother and grandmother, who always always always give money as a gift, no matter the occasion. The other two people who gave me money were guests who probably didn't have time to shop for a physical gift. We saved the money and are going to use it to buy leftover registry items.