Weekday Wedding?

pandozas

We are considering changing our wedding date to a weekday due to cost issues (have not signed any contracts yet). It would be on a Monday next July at 5pm. Great for the locals but my fiance has concerns about out of town people.  

adamar15

There's no way I would go to an OOT wedding on a Monday.  That is seriously inconvenient.  I would either put off the wedding to have more time to save, or start making cuts anywhere you can (without inconveniencing your guests). 

mari0225

Monday is going to be hard for a lot of people to make it, especially out of town people who are starting their work week and need to be at work Tuesday morning. It will also be difficult for locals as well, but more doable.

pokepoke27

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_monday-night-wedding-recap-for-anyone-whos-interestedwords-of-caution-to-future-brides

mari0225

Also I have been to a wedding on a Monday, I had to leave work two hours early to be there and most of the guests who had RSVP'D didn't show up, also I had to leave early for work the next morning.

Megbo2012

What about a sunday wedding? Sometimes those can be cheaper, or an offpeak season?

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:2c43bfae-9c9a-4e61-9583-a3586cc3f1db">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]What about a sunday wedding? Sometimes those can be cheaper, or an offpeak season?
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

<div>My wedding was on a Sunday, and even that was difficult for some of my guests. While no one had to leave work early to get to the wedding, many people left the wedding early because of work the next day. We also ended up with a crap load of extra alcohol. It was still great, just be prepared for most of your guests to be unable to stay until the end of the party. </div>

mari0225

Would Friday evening work? Those are cheaper and OOT guests would be to attend then? I would rather take a half day on Friday go to a wedding and be able to sleep in or get a hotel and come home Saturday.

annie912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:66607c3f-2b37-4bcb-a53f-d4521e192ea2">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_monday-night-wedding-recap-for-anyone-whos-interestedwords-of-caution-to-future-brides">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_monday-night-wedding-recap-for-anyone-whos-interestedwords-of-caution-to-future-brides</a>
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

The day of the week was only one of the issues with this wedding.

I agree that a Monday is inconvenient. I would consider it if the guest list was completely local, but it still wouldn't be my first choice. My parents actually got married on a Tuesday morning. No idea why, and my mom doesn't even remember how they picked the date. There wedding was a church wedding, with a luncheon reception - everything was wrapped up by 2 in the afternoon, so it wasn't like people were heading to work the next day hungover. I think the guest list was pretty small and primarily local, so it wasn't as big of a deal.

A Friday evening, while still not idea for OOT guests, is probably going to be more convenient. I also agree on looking at other areas to cut so you don't have to pick such an off time.

Ultimately, no matter what day you pick, someone is going to have an issue with it. But I think that a weekend is going to cause less of an issue than a weekday.

aurianna

If I'm traveling from out of town, honestly any wedding with a start time that isn't between 3 and 8pm on a Saturday annoys the heck out of me. (and I get off work at 6pm so even a 5pm in-town weekday wedding would annoy me)

I've gone to Friday and Sunday evening weddings and both have been really annoying because I had to use one of the 10 vacation days I get a year on each of them (and yes, I sound like a brat, but I'm just trying to be honest). If I were traveling to a Monday night wedding that's TWO vacation days I'd need to take. Unless I was super close to the couple, I would not do it.

If there are OOT guests that are really important to you to be there, look at things from their perspective.

I'd much rather go to a Saturday evening wedding that maybe wasn't as nicely decorated or didn't have as much hosted alcohol, than need to take that much time off work to go to a slightly nicer wedding on a Monday (especially because I probably won't be doing much drinking on a Monday night anyway).

Do Friday night or Sunday morning if you can work it...

I don't think it's bad etiquette per se  to have a Monday wedding.... but it's just soooooooo much more convenient for your guests to do Saturday.

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:1d2e0c2a-197d-4655-93ba-87407662d0a4">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weekday Wedding? : <strong>The day of the week was only one of the issues with this wedding.</strong> I agree that a Monday is inconvenient. I would consider it if the guest list was completely local, but it still wouldn't be my first choice. My parents actually got married on a Tuesday morning. No idea why, and my mom doesn't even remember how they picked the date. There wedding was a church wedding, with a luncheon reception - everything was wrapped up by 2 in the afternoon, so it wasn't like people were heading to work the next day hungover. I think the guest list was pretty small and primarily local, so it wasn't as big of a deal. A Friday evening, while still not idea for OOT guests, is probably going to be more convenient. I also agree on looking at other areas to cut so you don't have to pick such an off time. Ultimately, no matter what day you pick, someone is going to have an issue with it. But I think that a weekend is going to cause less of an issue than a weekday.
Posted by annie912[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well yes, but IMO several of the other issues probably stemmed from the fact that the bride underestimated the amount of guests that would come to a Monday wedding. I posted it as more of a warning about not expecting a small percentage of guests just because it's on a week day. 

</div>

annie912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:ebc77d2e-21a1-447f-a900-09a8579e7131">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weekday Wedding? : Well yes, but IMO several of the other issues probably stemmed from the fact that the bride underestimated the amount of guests that would come to a Monday wedding. I posted it as more of a warning about not expecting a small percentage of guests just because it's on a week day. 
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

To me, that's more a matter of being prepared for 100% attendance, regardless of when your wedding is. Like if you invite 200 people, even on a Monday, you need to have a facility that can accomodate chairs for 200 people. That type of poor planning seems to come up a lot, regardless of the day of week the wedding is on. If you invite someone, you need to be able to accomodate them. You can't invite people assuming they aren't going to come. But I get your point.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:a982ebeb-54b8-4295-b811-bd7afbc4f672">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weekday Wedding? : My wedding was on a Sunday, and even that was difficult for some of my guests. While no one had to leave work early to get to the wedding, many people left the wedding early because of work the next day. We also ended up with a crap load of extra alcohol. It was still great, just be prepared for most of your guests to be unable to stay until the end of the party. 
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]



True but I would prefer a Sunday morning wedding over a Monday, KWIM?

OwningAHome1981

In Response to Re:Weekday Wedding?:[QUOTE]There's no way I would go to an OOT wedding on a Monday.nbsp; That is seriously inconvenient.nbsp; I would either put off the wedding to have more time to save, or start making cuts anywhere you can without inconveniencing your guests.nbsp; Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

HandBanana

If it is a year away could you minimize the guestlist? Cut back on things like engagement pics, STDs, favors, flowers, etc.? Maybe do an early ceremony with an early short reception of cake and punch? Have you considered other venues?

OwningAHome1981

I think a Friday night is just as inconvenient though it would still require guests to leave work early or take a day off. My parents tried to push Friday night on us no freakin way!

chrispoje

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:3f220643-c6a9-4a32-a4d9-50c5c99f89b6">Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are considering changing our wedding date to a weekday due to cost issues (have not signed any contracts yet). It would be on a Monday next July at 5pm. Great for the locals but my fiance has concerns about out of town people.  
Posted by pandozas[/QUOTE]

<div>I think a Monday is fine, but the start time of 5 PM is not ideal.  Figure 7PM - 11 PM so people do not have to take off from work either Monday or Tuesday.  I'm going to a Tuesday wedding in July and my daughter is having a Thursday wedding next June,.</div>

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:3f220643-c6a9-4a32-a4d9-50c5c99f89b6">Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are considering changing our wedding date to a weekday due to cost issues (have not signed any contracts yet). It would be on a Monday next July at 5pm. <strong>Great for the locals</strong> but my fiance has concerns about out of town people.  
Posted by pandozas[/QUOTE]

Is it <em>actually</em>great for locals?  Have you talked to any of your VIPs about this yet? 

I'd assume most of your guests would need at least 30 minutes to get to your wedding (especially since most people like to arrive 10 minutes early).  Plus 30 min for a wardrobe change (which is pretty conservative if anyone needs a shower after work).  H and I each have a 30min - 1 hr commute from work to home so we'd have to leave work by 3pm at the latest to get to a 5pm wedding.  No way we'd be making the ceremony unless it was immediate family / a BFF who we'd be willing to take off work for.

But the bottom line is this: regardless of what day or time you have it SOMEONE won't be able to come.  If the day and time work for your parents, your siblings, your WP; whoever you absolutely MUST have there; then go for it.

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:15a4afc7-6955-49ba-950b-6b7ea4581d70">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weekday Wedding? : True but I would prefer a Sunday morning wedding over a Monday, KWIM?
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Most definitely.

</div>

mica178

If you have a lot of OOT guests that you really want to attend, try to get a Friday or Sunday wedding day instead (still cheaper than Saturday but allows OOT guests to only miss one day of work).  Unless you live in a place that would make for a great vacation, most people are not going to travel and take Monday and Tuesday off to go to your wedding.

I went to a DW in Maui that took place on a Monday.  Most of the guests took off the whole week to hang out in Hawaii.  But that was a very specific situation, and I doubt it applies to you.

random4180

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:30005881-dbd0-41eb-a0a2-9ff2ab39a898">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]But the bottom line is this: regardless of what day or time you have it SOMEONE won't be able to come.  If the day and time work for your parents, your siblings, your WP; whoever you absolutely MUST have there; then go for it.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I'm getting married on a Wednesday- yes, yes, I know it's unconventional, unexpected, inconvenient, etc...but we weighed all the options and, believe it or not, the pros outweighed the cons. We're from NYC and our budget is <em>way</em> under this area's typical 40k wedding- it's easy to find a place around here with $100pp options and 7k rental minimums. To be honest, that's not the wedding we wanted. </div><div>
</div><div>So we're getting married on a Wednesday but not before we checked with the VIPs- if you know people who work in hospitals, fire houses, animal shelters, (all which apply to some of our guests) then you might know that weekends can be way harder to get off than weekdays in 24/7 industries. We also have teachers and students in the family and summer schedules are easier to plan around- and also the most expensive of expensive times to get married around here.</div><div>
</div><div>I read the posted thread and honestly, that sounded miserable- and nothing like what our wedding is planned to be. Both the church and reception hall are air conditioned- and they're also across the street from each other so everyone driving parks once. Everything from the catering plan to the church and hall to the programs and favors are planned for 150-175 people. The reception hall easily holds 200 total, with a dance floor. I'm not planning on the reception to go very long and would be plenty happy to be home in bed with my new husband by 10. I would also be completely happy if the 53 people currently coming (still waiting on almost twice that to RSVP) are all that come. I'll be just as married at the end of the day and my guests will be just as well-hosted. </div><div>
</div><div>OP, weigh your options. An invitation isn't a court order and you'll never please everyone. We're treating ours like a DW in the sense that we let everyone know the date well in advance (STDs sent out in Feb) and we're ready for a lower turnout than normal (no feelings will be hurt if friends can't make it, we have the rest of our marriage to mingle!) but prepared for the 150+ we could get.</div>

QueerFemme

If you are fine having a VERY small turnout and most OOT guests not coming, then go ahead and have a Monday wedding.  I know, I would not go to a Monday wedding unless it was for someone in my immediate family.

willywally5

One of my brothers got married on a Tuesday. In December. In South Dakota. They wanted to be married on bride's parents' anniversary. Turnout was low. To be fair, it was about 30 below. But we are hardy folk out here so I still suspect day of the week had a lot to do with it. 

Personally, I would find a weeknight wedding a PITA to attend, and I don't even work outside the home! But there are always other things going on during the week. 

ghowlett

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weekday-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153ad4d5-3c64-4723-950d-9842cf695792Post:15a4afc7-6955-49ba-950b-6b7ea4581d70">Re: Weekday Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weekday Wedding? : True but I would prefer a Sunday morning wedding over a Monday, KWIM?
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
 
I've never been to a Sunday morning wedding, but I think it would be amazing.  A brunch menu would be less expensive than a dinner menu & obviously you'd be able to save a TON on alcohol.  Mimosa & bloody mary bars would be so cute. 

jhg140

I have been to a Friday evening wedding that was OOT and required travel for FI and I. To be honest, I whined and moaned the whole time about going, having to use 1 1/2 days vacation, blah blah. Honestly though, it was one of the more fun weekends I've had at a wedding, including destination weddings in Mexico. We got to have a relaxing night on Thursday, try a restaurant I'd been dying to go to (Michael Symon's Lola in Cleveland - amazing!), and the couple planned activities for us on Saturday after the wedding (tickets to a baseball game). It was so nice to not have to get on a plane the next morning, hungover and sick.

It was with this in mind that we decided to have our wedding on a Friday. FI was actually really insistant on it, since he had such a great time in Cleveland. Since most of our OOT guests have never been to TX, we wanted to make it a mini-destination wedding. We will be throwing a crawfish boil the morning after and possibly getting tickets for all interested to go to the Houston Rodeo that night. If this causes people to not be able to attend, I'm honestly ok with it and I totally understand. But for those making the trip, we are going to try to make it a weekend celebration that will show off Texas.

So yes, if possible, I would try to go with Friday night/Sat AM over a Monday. We got breaks on our facility rental fee, as well as our meal and open bar costs.