Who Gets Invited to a Wedding Shower?

kathbeau

I'm having a small destination wedding.  Both my fiance and I get nervous in front of people so we decided to keep it to immediate family and two friends. 

We're also having a big cookout, open house four weeks after the wedding.  We will be inviting our extended family and our friends to that party.

My sister is throwing me a bridal shower and asked for a list of people she should invite.  Should I invite just people invited to the actual wedding?   Or should I invite people to the shower who will be invited to the house party, too?

I've asked two friends (not the ones attending the wedding).  One said that I shouldn't invite anyone to a shower who I do not invite to the wedding.  The other said that people like celebrating with people they love, and I should definately invite people from the house party. 

I'm not sure what to do. 

pumpkinpumpkin

In your case, I'd invite any of the family and your two friends. That's all. Shower invite MUST = wedding invite.

Also, it's "definitely".

shellydiane820

P2 said it best.

Kristin789

>>One said that I shouldn't invite anyone to a shower who I do not invite to the wedding.

That.

The WEDDING shower is a WEDDING event, so you can only invite those people who are invited to the WEDDING. 

Your cookout/openhouse is a party.  It's not a WEDDING reception after the WEDDING - it's not a WEDDING event.  You can invite anyone and everyone to your party.

And I understand that your sister wants to throw you a BIG shower with LOTS of people and LOTS of gifts.  But you have chose to have a small DW.  My FI and I chose to have a very small wedding, inviting only 7 family members each - so when the idea of a shower came up, I shrugged and said no because we would have had only three female friends and me there.  Your sister could plan a very small shower-type event, with whatever female family members and friends ARE coming to the DW which is probably like 3-5 people - but you could do a spa day.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gets-invited-wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153b9e5b-e09b-4022-bd5d-e3c91b587ffaPost:6cf699ef-1119-420a-9dcd-e4a3224d5b03">Re: Who Gets Invited to a Wedding Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE] />>One said that I shouldn't invite anyone to a shower who I do not invite to the wedding. That. The WEDDING shower is a WEDDING event, so you can only invite those people who are invited to the WEDDING.  Your cookout/openhouse is a party.  It's not a WEDDING reception after the WEDDING - it's not a WEDDING event.  You can invite anyone and everyone to your party. And I understand that your sister wants to throw you a BIG shower with LOTS of people and LOTS of gifts.  But you have chose to have a small DW.  My FI and I chose to have a very small wedding, inviting only 7 family members each - so when the idea of a shower came up, I shrugged and said no because we would have had only three female friends and me there.  Your sister could plan a very small shower-type event, with whatever female family members and friends ARE coming to the DW which is probably like 3-5 people - but you could do a spa day.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

When I read this in my head I read "wedding, lots and are" with way too much inflection.  It was rather humorous.

kristinalily

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette?plckForumPage=ForumSearchPaginate&plckSearchArea=all&plckSearchText=wedding+shower+invite&plckCurrentPage=0#none

missy68

Well, it WAS information from Kristin numbers, Shelley.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gets-invited-wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153b9e5b-e09b-4022-bd5d-e3c91b587ffaPost:613a43f9-a7cf-46d2-9f9d-50d6a5aab27c">Re: Who Gets Invited to a Wedding Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, it WAS information from Kristin numbers, Shelley.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

aww I love your puppers!

missy68

I want to know who replaced my little boy in the snow with that monster on my hip! Those pictures are only 3 months apart. He's gained 30 lbs.

kristinalily

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gets-invited-wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:153b9e5b-e09b-4022-bd5d-e3c91b587ffaPost:17f48aaa-bcbe-432f-997c-b5e60448007b">Re: Who Gets Invited to a Wedding Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to know who replaced my little boy in the snow with that monster on my hip! Those pictures are only 3 months apart. He's gained 30 lbs.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

I didn't even realize those were pictures of the same dog!!

shellydiane820

I love the one where you're holding him.  He's just a big old baby!

missy68

That he is. We'd just come home from obedience training. I won't be picking him up like that much longer!

I hadn't compared the photos side by side myself until today - only in my head. He's a mess.

I know Maggie, my other one, is up there laughing at me thinking, and you thought I was trouble????

shellydiane820

haha!  Love it!

I have puppy fever really bad.

kathbeau

Right.  No one not invited to the wedding is invited to the shower. 

This is why I didn't want to have a shower.    At least it will give the guests a chance to meet each other before the wedding. 

kathbeau

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gets-invited-wedding-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:153b9e5b-e09b-4022-bd5d-e3c91b587ffaPost:a1d5c321-27b0-4899-b1a2-8c7dffeeda54">Re: Who Gets Invited to a Wedding Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]In your case, I'd invite any of the family and your two friends. That's all. Shower invite MUST = wedding invite. Also, it's "definitely".
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the spelling correction.  It is both sweet and conscientious of you.  :)