Wedding Etiquette Forum

FMIL and my inner brat rearing its ugly head.

Sigh. Before we start this, I feel like a brat. Just to preface this shortened problem. In short, my FMIL gets a free set of knives with her cookware purchase. She calls me and tells me to take my knives off my registry because she has already "bought" us our wedding present - a full set of knives. This is fine. If she wants to give us a set of knives she got for free as our wedding gift, then okay. She is rich, but frugal and I get her thinking to some degree. I think it goes: "I have these knives; they need knives! Problem solved."
I don't think it is: "I don't want to buy those Em effer's a present. Here's a free newspaper I got outside" The focal point of my irritation is telling me to take something we want off our registry because you got us a present that we did not register for. Actually not even that, I'd actually agree to do this for almost anything but knives.We have both lived on our own for years, so we have almost everything. The only thing I was super excited about registering for is the completion of my amazing RADA cutlery set. Good knives are so necessary.Anyways, am I being a ridiculous brat if I don't take them off? Your honest, but tactful non-rude advice would be so appreciated.

Re: FMIL and my inner brat rearing its ugly head.

  • Can  you have your FI tell her that you guys really want the specific set you registered for, so thanks but no thanks?
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  • Just don't take them off.
  • Ditto Dani. Your FI calls her, thanks her profusely for her generous offer (irony intended), and then tells her that THE TWO OF YOU had your hearts set on that particular set of knives so you're going to go ahead and keep them on the registry.
  • My mom did something similar---except she ordered Rich and me a 101 piece cutlery set off of late night television. And didn't tell me about it until after someone had purchased our knifes off of our registry.

    Had she told me about it, the outcome would have been the same---ya know, because no one in their right mind needs 101 pieces of cutlery. Ever.
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  • I totally get this. However, I'm being sneaky about it. The one thing we were super excited about was new, nice towels. Instead, MIL goes out and buys us the cheapest ones Wal-Mart carry. Right after the wedding, I'm taking those back and getting our nice towels. I would just 'forget' to take the knives off the registry.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • I think what is kinda blowing my mind here is that...umm...he's your son. Why do you want to give him a freebie that you scored instead of a wedding present? Aside from the registry stuff, I just feel bad for him. The minute he heard she got us knives to replace our registry knives, he was like, "I bet she got them cheap or free." I honestly don't care because we don't need anything from anyone, but come on....at what point does frugal get to be a wee bit much? When he expects his wedding present to be something you got for free, then maybe you're going overboard.
  • That is annoying.  I'd keep your knives on the registry and donate the others to charity.
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  • I think your FMIL is related to FI's family. They do this to him every year for his birthday. They always ask him what he wants, but always get him the cheapest version of it.

    Example: FI said he wanted some electric razor thing from Wal-Mart. They found at cheaper one at Dollar General that barely worked the first time, and broke on the second use. Ugh.

    I agree with PPs. Keep those dream knives on there!
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