NWR: WWED?

strlzfan11

I volunteer at church camp for a week every summer and have for years (this summer will be my 21st year if you count the years I was a camper).  One of the other long-time volunteers passed away unexpectedly at the end of January.  Many of the us went to either the viewing or the funeral.

So now, we're discussing what we want to do at camp to memorialize her.  Our director sent out an email today outlining the plan of attack for what we're going to do, which was ironic since I was just thinking about it on the walk to work from the car this morning.  So I emailed him back and threw out the suggestion to include other former volunteer staff members in on the plan, one of whom is my sister.  He emailed back and said he thought about it, but didn't want to come off as sounding greedy asking folks that (other than FB) many of us haven't seen in years for money.  FTR, I don't we'll have any problems raising the money without the other folks.  I just feel like they might want to be included because they knew her and loved her as well.  I sent my sister a FBPM asking her if she'd be offended by it, but this is the same sister who planned her own bridal shower and wanted to have a cash bar, so I don't necessarily trust that her not being offended by it would vouch for everyone else, KWIM?

So here's my question.  If you received an email (or FB message) outlining the memorial plan, would you be offended or think it was just a gift grab?  If the message mentioned something along the lines of "if you'd like to be included or want more information, feel free to contact so-and-so."   Do you think we should include these former staff members or not?

crash2729

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you make sure they know it's optional.

specialk84

As long as the optional aspect is stressed, it's fine.

Bonzo2011

As long as its worded in such a way that it doesn't seem like a demand for money, I think it's fine. Having been a camp counselor, I know how the staff can really form a family, and those feelings stay with you even after you stop working at the camp. You never know, some old counselors may come out of the woodwork. I think it's better to let them know the plans and give them the chance to be involved than to leave them in the dark.

pokepoke27

Bonzo said it well. I personally would like the opportunity to help. 

Beachy730

Is the memorial going to be a ceremony type thing at all?  Or just a physical memorial?  If there is going to be any type of ceremony in honor of that person then I would put out the email saying you wanted to give people a heads up that you would be doing this if anyone was interested in attending (kinda like an STD), and if they would like to help at all or be included to let you know.  

Either way I would send the email though.  

jessicabessica

I would definitely include them.  Two classmates of mine from a program died a while after the program, and we weren't all necessarily in great touch, but almost all of my other classmates reached out to one another, and we developed our own memorial ideas.  

Are you sure that everyone knows already, though?  If not, I would be pretty sensitive--give them the news first in the email, and then outline the memorial plans.  Sorry for your loss.

strlzfan11

Yes, everyone is aware that she passed away.

In terms of a ceremony, I don't know that we've made it that far in the planning yet beyond the purchase of the physical memorial.  I'm sure there will be something, though.

Thanks everyone!  I think I'll send the email out but leave out the part about where to send contributions but add in "if you'd like to be included, contact so-and-so."