Vow Renewal

kevinandjessica2002

Okay after reading several posts I am scared. My husband and I got married 13 years ago on our luch break at the District Justice office and always vowed to have the wedding that we never got to have. Since we are finacially set in life and three children later we are planning the vow renewal in September of this year. We want to go all out for the wedding...dress, tux ect since we never got to have this. Can I get some opinions on this? I don't want to be looked at wrong by anyone but this is something that we really want to do. Please help!!!!

SlothGoals

I think having a vow renewal is fine, but I wouldn't go all out with wedding regalia. You are no longer a bride, but a wife. Wear a beautiful evening gown/dress/whatever and your H can wear a nice suit but I would skip all other wedding-related things.

Knottie_22382049

I would skip anything that says wedding or bride in it. You can have a lovely vow renewal but remember you are already a wife not a bride. 

Summer2011Bride

If you want to a renewal, you can but I'd keep it simple. No big white gown, no WP, no showers for sure, none of the tosses, no registries, etc.

OR what I would prefer is to throw an anniversary party. Skip the ceremony aspect (or do that privately with just you and H), and have a big party with band/DJ, great food, alcohol, etc. in celebration of your wedding anniversary.

happyfor25

Like PPs have said, you could have a wonderful anniversary party but playing bride would be side-eyed.  I empathize with you as I too regretted my choice to marry at the JOP.  I'm sure your family and friends would love to celebrate your commitment to one another as did mine at my recent 25th anniversary party/vow renewal.  Vow reaffirmations are most often reserved for milestone anniversaries or to recommit after difficulty in the marriage.  Renewing your vows for your 13th seems a little random but if done tastefully can be beautiful.

I've thought this before and have wanted to say it to others in your situation...ignorance is bliss.  Don't you kind of wish you remained blissfully ignorant of the etiquette involved.  But alas, now you know and can plan your party accordingly.

Loopyseven

Ditto the PP's. A vow renewal is a wonderful thing, but if you make it too much about the wedding show, and not enough about the vows and commitment, it starts to feel kind of fake and overdone.  Keeping it simple is the key to keeping it classy.  

mrsjoesmith

I will totally get slammed for this but... Where I am from, its not considered weird and no one is side eyed for having a vow renewel that is done up wedding style. IF you have never had one. But we must be some crazy, poorly educated hillbillies based on some of the discussions on here. So I say it depends on where your from and the culture of that area.

happyfor25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:15d0efb5-a79d-4326-8827-08785b318b2fPost:81503aec-3698-484b-9f00-c948b316fa58">Re:Vow Renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]I will totally get slammed for this but... Where I am from, its not considered weird and no one is side eyed for having a vow renewel that is done up wedding style. IF you have never had one. But we must be some crazy, poorly educated hillbillies based on some of the discussions on here. So I say it depends on where your from and the culture of that area.
Posted by mrsjoesmith[/QUOTE]

I agree that you have to know what your family and friends would be OK with and what they would side-eye. 

I think now that you have been reading this forum, you just might side-eye some things you wouldn't have previously thought anything about. 

mrsjoesmith

Stage, my intent was never to offend. I am so sorry! Often people think Idahoan are a few fries short if a happy meal. I was poking fun at my own upbringing! Never ment to say all gave poor manners.

happyfor25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:15d0efb5-a79d-4326-8827-08785b318b2fPost:dbaddfb6-7114-4c90-9a68-e81b3e5b20be">Re:Vow Renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Vow Renewal: On behalf of my Ozark Hillbilly roots, I take offense to that. We absolutely still have manners.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Stage, were you the one with the pic of a relative in overalls?   I LOVE that photo and it reminds me of my FIL who I have never seen in ANYTHING but overalls.

allychase

13 years later you're still stuck on not having a pretty princess day??

Kate61487

PPs have pretty much covered it, but I wanted to add one thing. Stop calling it a wedding.  You had a wedding; it was the day you wed your husband.  I think that, above any other wedding-y aspects like a big poofy white dress, will get you side-eyed by your friends and family.  "We are having a vow renewal / anniversary party" Just keep repeating that to yourself so you don't slip up!

nda8414

I agree that it might look silly if you're planning a full blown do over wedding, but I COMPLETELY disagree that you have to wait for a vowel renewal until a milestone. If you both have always wanted to do it, and you have the resources and more importantly, health to do it now, go for it! Life is short, celebrate now! Also, nothing wrong w/wearing a white dress

nda8414

ALSo please excuse that I called it a vowel renewal lol...it's been a long day

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:15d0efb5-a79d-4326-8827-08785b318b2fPost:86686838-555c-4afd-abf0-214cf3fdf623">Re:Vow Renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]Idotaketwo.com has helpful advice about how to do a vow renewal tastefully. Personally, I'd just do a blowout anniversary party.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

Please don't worry or become upset.  It's not expected that you would know these sorts of things since you've been busy being a wife and mother for 13 years.  Unfortunately, there's no way to turn back the clock and relive the moment that you married your husband.  That's just one of those decisions you'll have to live with.

So, instead check out the website that Liatris suggested above, idotaketwo.com.  It's a very good site that goes into more specifics about how to have a tasteful vow renewal and will help put what other PPs have said in perspective.  Plus if you want to satisfy your planning desires there's no limit to the creativity of the celebration that you can have using Etsy and other sites.  It can be a unique vow renewal that will be very memorable.  Best of luck!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

renegade gaucho

I don't understand why you didn't have the big wedding 13 years ago, if that's what you wanted.

kevinandjessica2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vow-renewal-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:15d0efb5-a79d-4326-8827-08785b318b2fPost:9057ee4f-cde6-46df-9beb-c0ac41eae17c">Re: Vow Renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why you didn't have the big wedding 13 years ago, if that's what you wanted.
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

Thank you all for the suggestions. The reason I did not get to have a big wedding 13 years ago was because I was on my death bed. I was given 3 months to live. Family and friends have been asking when we are going to do our big "renewal of vows." Full blown wedding style. I have taken into every suggestion and thank you to all.