Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invite Pastor's wife to bridal shower?

My fiance is close with his Pastor (I am soon to join his church). He is officiating our wedding and so his wife is also invited. Should I also invite her to the bridal shower as a nice gesture? I have met her but do not know her well at all. I don't want to appear gift grabby, but I'd be happy to include her if I thought it was something she was interested in, and it would help us get to know one another more, etc. What's the etiquette on this one?

Re: Invite Pastor's wife to bridal shower?

  • If you don't know her, inviting her to a party where she feels obligated to give you a gift is probably not the best way to start a relationship. Keep the bridal shower to your closest friends and family. 
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  • I think it would appear gift-grabby considering you said you are not that close to her and don't know her well. Showers are usually only for the ladies that are nearest and dearest to you.

    I didn't even invite the Deacon's wife to my shower and H and I had been going to church there while we were dating. I felt like I knew her pretty well.
  • Anytime I get a shower invite for someone I don't know well, I feel like it comes across as gift grabby.  I don't go, I don't send a gift, and I don't feel bad about it.  Since she's your pastor's wife I feel like you'd be putting her in an awkward position.  If you want to get to know her better, invite her to coffee, not your shower.

  • If she happens to attend the rehearsal with her husband, then by all means extend an invite to the RD to both of them, but I agree with nixing the invite to the bridal shower.  That is reserved for close friends/family/Bridal Party members. 

    Save her invite for your baby shower (someday ;) )
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  • Thanks for the sound advice! It seems like a no-brainer when I read your responses :)
  • I would not invite her to the shower.
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