guest list

alexlad

Ok ladies. I am in a rut with my guest list and need some suggestions. I am getting married in the church that I grew up in and it only holds about 85 people. The church means so much to me and I would really like to keep the wedding there. My reception site is very large and can fit 350 but not comfortably of it rains (The people will all be couped in one room and not able to all see the ceremony). We currently have 176 people on the list 13 of which are standing in wedding and not sitting. I have estimated that roughly 98 people other than the 13 will come and need seats which ok if we add chairs next to the church pews.(can only add about 18 chairs so 

=98)

What if some of these people come that I don't think are coming? Then we cannot fit them. 

My natural instinct is to cut the list. My parents and fiancée and I are all paying for the wedding and my parents refuse to cut any of their friends. It is really important to them that their CLOSE friends be there. My fiancée and I only have about 5 friends coming other than the wedding party and do not want to cut them. I do not feel right asking his parents to cut anyone because they only have VERY close friends coming.

The extended family of both makes up about 65 people. These are people that we have maybe seen once a year our whole lives and sadly we won't even notice of they are not there. 

So my question is...Is there any instance in which it is ok to start cutting cousins etc?

twilight.rose

Your instinct is correct, and as PP said, cutting "factions" of people from the list is fine.

You must have enough seating for everyone invited (always anticipate 100% attendance.)

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:16258358-80a4-4953-b318-21a41dbc7f9aPost:c835375c-bb13-40e8-9f8f-338f1bb1c774">guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok ladies. I am in a rut with my guest list and need some suggestions. I am getting married in the church that I grew up in and it only holds about 85 people. The church means so much to me and I would really like to keep the wedding there. My reception site is very large and can fit 350 but not comfortably of it rains (The people will all be couped in one room and not able to all see the ceremony). We currently have 176 people on the list 13 of which are standing in wedding and not sitting. I have estimated that roughly 98 people other than the 13 will come and need seats which ok if we add chairs next to the church pews.(can only add about 18 chairs so  =98) What if some of these people come that I don't think are coming? Then we cannot fit them.  My natural instinct is to cut the list. My parents and fiancée and I are all paying for the wedding and my parents refuse to cut any of their friends. It is really important to them that their CLOSE friends be there. My fiancée and I only have about 5 friends coming other than the wedding party and do not want to cut them. I do not feel right asking his parents to cut anyone because they only have VERY close friends coming. The extended family of both makes up about 65 people. These are people that we have maybe seen once a year our whole lives and sadly we won't even notice of they are not there.  So my question is...Is there any instance in which it is ok to start cutting cousins etc?
Posted by alexlad[/QUOTE]
Yep, start cutting so that your guest list is the same size as what the venue can hold.  You are right in thinking not to over-invite in hopes that not all will come.

alexlad

I am glad that this could be an option for me. Unfortunately all of the 65 are fiancée and I's aunts and uncles and 1st cousins and their small children. So i don't have 2nd and 3rd cousins to cut. But I think I still might be able to fudge the list a little maybe with cousins that are step and half that are much less close? I'm not sure if this is acceptable.

susieqt757

You could always have a smaller ceremony, with just immediate family, and then have the reception with everyone. I just recently went to my cousins wedding and there was not enough seating for everyone, and it was miserable.

missy68

Don't have a wedding and invite some people to the reception only. Unless your ceremony is literally immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents, period) - no friends, no extended family, then by inviting some people to a reception only, you send a message that they aren't "good enough" to see you get married, but hey - why not bring me a present?