Am I being weird about this?

[Deleted User]

For some reason our photographer doesn't normally take photographs of children or siblings' spouses before the wedding ceremony. She wants FI's sisters and their families to come early for pictures, but she wasn't their spouses and children (who are all in our wedding parties) to stay behind while FI and his parents and sibiings go off to take pictures. 

Both FI and I are uncomfortable with this, because we consider our in-laws just as much of a part of our families as our siblings are.  It also just seems rude to ask them to come an hour+ early, and then sit in the ceremony room while his family goes off to take picture, and I honestly expect some feelings to be hurt as well (I think if I were in the same position, my feelings would be a little hurt.)

I'm trying to explain this to my photographer, but I think she's so used to doing things this way, that she doesn't seem to understand why I have concerns.

Is this completely normal and I'm just over thinking things or do my concerns make sense?

SEWF

I think you make sense, especially if they'd be there early anyway, and then have to stay late to take pictures that they could have taken before. I just don't think that makes sense. And yeah, if it were me, I'd be hurt, too.

SB1512

Your photographer is working for you, not the other way around.  He or she should be willing to change things up to accommodate your wishes and if they are not that's pretty unprofessional.

MyUserName1

You're the one holding the checkbook- the photographer needs to follow your directions. If you want them in the photos, then tell her that.  If she argues, remind her that these are your photos, not hers, and she needs to do them as you request.  It's idiotic that she's dictating who is in your pictures.

ThankfulSnail

You hired the photographer to take pictures for you; therefore, you get to choose who is in the photos. I agree with PPs that you need to explain to your photog who you want in the photos; don't take no for an answer, this is up to you.

jessicabessica

You tell your photographer what pictures are important to you.  Make lists of all the shots and group pictures you want.  Talk to your photographer about how long it will take to do all the pictures on your list, and then you tell the people in the photos when they need to arrive.

kmmssg

Agree with the others.  I would talk with her again and politely but firmly tell her this is non-negotiable and they will be in the pics YOU want them.

[Deleted User]

Thanks ladies.  I emailed her  to explain myself again and she got right back to me to let me know it wasn't a problem, that most people just didn't want their in-laws in many pictures. FI and I are going to sit down to make a list of the photos we want, and send it over to her.

I guess for the next few weeks I'm just going to have to suck it up and be less of a push-over and not feel like I'm being difficult if I am asserive with my opinions. 

kmmssg

Being polite and assertive aren't mutually exclusive!!  I am sure you will politely make sure you get the service you have paid for and in the manner you requested.  Will be looking for some pics!

emeejeeayen

Being assertive now saves you from being a b!tch day-of when the stress finally gets to you and you go bridezilla on the photographer! Just sayin'