Where to cut off for kids?

lisalaroc

I have a bit of a tricky situation.  We are having an "adult" wedding, including older teens (17 and up).  The only exception are two first cousins who are 12 that I am very close with (one is in the wedding and the other is from out of town and the rest of her family will be attending).  I am inviting 2nd cousins (silbings) who are ages 17 and 18.  I am stuck in a tough place... I have another 2nd cousin who is 17 with a younger sister who is 15.  Do I invite them both?  If so, I also have twin 2nd cousins who are also 15, do I then need to invite them too?  That creates an awkward situation for their younger brother who is about 9.  I am not sure if I should invite them or not?  I am not close with the cousins in question either.  Is it okay not to invite any of them?  I have asked around and my parents and I are really stuck on this one.  Any advice would be appreciated!!

ehathewa

I think that it is pretty rude to invite only some siblings from a family.  The 9 year old is old enough to go to a reception and behave themselves...  and also old enough to feel very left out of the fun. 

That's just my opinion... and I should make the disclaimer that we invited about 30 kids to our wedding. 

KatyRoseM

I would think inviting only one sibling is not ok.  I'm not sure what to do about the others, as this seems to be opening a flood gate, but I would feel like I had to invite them all.  I'm not totally sure about the rules on that though.

Amivy06

Inviting one sibling and not the other would definitely cause some tiffs. It's not polite. You do not have to invite any of the cousins if it is an 17+ wedding, IMO.

lisalaroc

Just to clarify a bit - there is a situation where 2/3 siblings have been invited before. And if I invite one 9 year old, I'd have to invite them all.  I should mention I am from a big Italian family.  Inviting all the kids would make our guest list way too high.  I also know that the relatives would most likely not be offended at all if the youngest sibling was not invited.

Amivy06

If they would not be offended, then I think you are okay. Just be sure to clarify that with them. I would not, however, invite the fifteen year olds if it is an 17+ only wedding. That would be rude.

BeeBee22

Can you make the cutoff first cousins?  It seems that if you don't invite any second cousins it simplifies things, but I don't know your relationships with them. 

It's actually fine to stick to your 17+ guns. There were things I wasn't invited to as a kid that my older sister was, and it wasn't an issue. An age cutoff is pretty straightforward, and therefore not generally offensive. The 15 year old won't get to start driving or dating at the same time as the older sibling either. 

I remember it being a nice thing to look forward to 'graduating' to adult events at the appropriate age. We usually don't make such distinctions anymore, and that's actually too bad.