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Program Etiquette

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Re: Program Etiquette

  • What if instead of listing people by category i.e. Parents, wedding party etc. explicitly list people by the order of the Processional?  i.e.

    Processional:

    Priest
    Groom
    kjhowd MIL, mother of the groom, escorted by kjhowd, father of the groom
    BM 1 name, bridesmaid, escorted by GM 1 name, groomsman
    BM 2 name, bridgesmaid, escorted by GM 2 name, groomsman
    MOH name, Maid of Honor, escorted by Best Man name, Best Man
    kjhowd Mom, mother of the bride, escorted by,
    kjhowd Dad, father of the bride, escorted by Kjhowd Dad's wife
    ring bearer name, Ring Bearer
    flower girl name, Flower Girl
    Bride escorted by kjhowd brother, bride's brother

    etc.  Just use the general form: 
    person's name, relationship/title escorted by 2nd person's name, relationship/title

    Just don't use a title for your Dad's wife and change the traditional female escorted by male to male escorted by female for their line in the program.  That way you don't have to call her your stepmother or parent explicitly, but she is not excluded or separated from your father in the program.  I think this should work (assuming they are processing).

    If you use the Processional order as your guide, you still cover everyone and then you can put anyone that doesn't process in the Distinguished Guests section.

    Good luck.

  • ^Her father isn't walking her.
    Lizzie
  • There really is no polite way to leave your fathers wife of 25 years off of the program. We are having a Catholic wedding too. My fiance's parents are divorced. His step father raised him. He is just starting to build a relationship with his biological father. He step father is his Best Man. His biological father is doing a reading at our wedding. He looks at his step father as his father. Which I understand is totally opposite of how you feel about this woman but I am just as worried about hurt feelings where our programs are concerned. I listed both of these men as his father. To list his step dad as anything else wouldn't be right. I am not sure that his biological dad deserves the title of dad but he will get it because he is just that biologically. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_program-etiquette-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:174456b6-4176-40f3-9224-4f9c99631084Post:d54c0afb-b7cd-44ad-ad59-f7bd08ee3d8b">Re: Program Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]What if instead of listing people by category i.e. Parents, wedding party etc. explicitly list people by the order of the Processional?  i.e. <strong>Processional: Priest Groom kjhowd MIL, mother of the groom, escorted by kjhowd, father of the groom BM 1 name, bridesmaid,</strong> escorted by GM 1 name, groomsman BM 2 name, bridgesmaid, escorted by GM 2 name, groomsman MOH name, Maid of Honor, escorted by Best Man name, Best Man kjhowd Mom, mother of the bride, escorted by, kjhowd Dad, father of the bride, escorted by Kjhowd Dad's wife ring bearer name, Ring Bearer flower girl name, Flower Girl Bride escorted by kjhowd brother, bride's brother etc.  Just use the general form:  person's name, relationship/title escorted by 2nd person's name, relationship/title Just don't use a title for your Dad's wife and change the traditional female escorted by male to male escorted by female for their line in the program.  That way you don't have to call her your stepmother or parent explicitly, but she is not excluded or separated from your father in the program.  I think this should work (assuming they are processing). If you use the Processional order as your guide, you still cover everyone and then you can put anyone that doesn't process in the Distinguished Guests section. Good luck.
    Posted by Mimmer04[/QUOTE]

    I'm really late, but I like this idea.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I would just skip programs honestly. It will save you a lot of stress (and some dough!) and that way NO ONE is offended because no one can possibly be left off.


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  • I did not include my stepfather or my dad's girlfriend in the program. They each got flowers and walked into the ceremony with the rest of the parents, but weren't in the program.

    The difference, I suppose, is that my mother and stepfather had only been married for 4 year and I have never lived with him and he did not raise me. I was out of college by the time he got married.

    However, you claim your stepmother didn't raise you. If you're basically estranged, you can leave her out. But I'm assuming you think it will cause some offense, since you're asking. What I did felt natural to me and everyone was fine with it.
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