Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would you...

Stay with a person who had been fired from their job for theft, been arrested for said theft and convicted and were facing jail time?

Curious what peoples thoughts on this are.

Re: Would you...

  • edited December 2009
    Is this a first offense? I think I'd be more shocked than anything if this had never happened before, and it would definitely make me wonder who thefuck I was with.



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  • Recent occurance, relationship is nearly 2 years long (i think).
  • That's a tough one, because if the person is facing jail time then they must have stolen something big (or embezzled), which can indicate some personality traits like not having respect for authority or the law, or having no remorse for having wronged other people. I don't know that a healthy relationship could sustain when there are things like that in the mix. Plus separation from prison time has got to suck too.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • No.  I had serious issues with something my ex did at work.  It never got so far as what you described, but it definitely eroded my trust in his ability to actually do the right thing in the face of temptation.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • If it's the first blip on the person's character, I would.  I'd make sure he was getting some counseling and we talked it through and I made it very clear that one more time and he's out.
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  • To my knowledge its a first offence, though for all I know its not and its been happening for years and this was just the first time he was caught.
  • Theft really bothers me, I'd have to know what was taken, how much, how often and why. 

    If I was only in a relationship and not married I think I'd probably end up cutting my losses for way less of a crime then if I were married. 
  • Nope.  I would expect that said person would have a permanent blip on his record and have a great deal of difficulty holding down steady employment in the future, and I wouldn't want to have to worry about being unable to support our family.
  • Probably not.  Unless it was some stupid silly mixup, of which I can come up with no example right now.  But likely it's a conscious thing, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who would make that decision.
  • What happened: person was arrested for posession of stolen property at work, items that he had bought from another coworker who stole them from where they worked, as well as theft. He was caught on camera taking money out of the tills at work.

    Im personally baffled that they are still together, I dont think I could stay with a person who had done that/affected their future in such a stupid way.
  • I think we'd have to talk about WTF happened. Depending on his response, I'd consider individual and couples' therapy. I'm not saying there's any excuse for theft, but things like desperation and fear are different than just plain greed or arrogance.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1763854f-2cf6-4e69-9df9-0be9956ebe6dPost:665c3249-030d-4dd7-8b1c-dcd38ce9089a">Re: Would you...</a>:
    [QUOTE]What happened: person was arrested for posession of stolen property at work, items that he had bought from another coworker who stole them from where they worked, as well as theft. He was caught on camera taking money out of the tills at work. Im personally baffled that they are still together, I dont think I could stay with a person who had done that/affected their future in such a stupid way.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    Ummmm, yea - his judgement is bad.  I'd leave. 
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