Were you surprised with how many people were at your wedding?

stellaella

Hello married ladies!

I've got a random question.  When you made your guest list and started to get an idea of how many people you thought would be at your wedding, was the actual number of attendees much different than what you initially thought it would be?

I'm wondering because I've got 2 friends getting married on NYE and in February respectively. 

My friend on NYE is getting married 2 hours away and invited 120 people. She thought only 80 or less would attend because it's NYE and a long drive. She has received acceptances from EVERYONE. I think she's shocked, happy and a little panicked about space issues. 

My other friend is having what she thought would be a large in-town wedding. She is inviting 160 people and so far, even 6 weeks before her RSVP due date, 30 have already said they cannot come for various unrelated reasons.

So, what about you? Were you surprised with how many people came or didn't come?

My fiance and I inviting almost exactly 100 people and I hope we end up with 90 or more. It would be so amazing if everyone could come.

alka131

When we first got engaged, I always said my ideal guest count would be around 80. We invited 100 (knowing that some people would decline) and ended up with about 75. It worked out perfectly.

thesuninherhead

That's the danger of over-inviting- often those you presume 'definitely won't come' are the first to RSVP yes!

 

I was surprised with how few people we had decline. My aunt and uncle declined, but my aunt is in ill health so that wasn't a shock. Another aunt and uncle and cousin also declined- that was a little bit of a surprise but was due to ill health of another family member. One friend's baby came early so she couldn't make it... Nick's cousins who we invited presuming they wouldn't make the trip up couldn't come. One set of friends who were living overseas declined (again, essentially expected). Everyone else who we invited attended- I think we invited 70 something (close to 80 but not quite, from memory) and had 69 in total attend.

Everyone who RSVP'ed yes showed on the day itself, too.

Beachy730

We invited 275 and ended up with 195.  I was a little surprised by some of the no's that we got. 

thesuninherhead

Wow Dnb, that's a huge decline rate (although it's also a huge invite rate, I guess!).

akhensley81

We had a pretty big decline rate too... but we have a ton of OOT family (hundreds of miles away) - and a lot of them didn't come. We invited 220 people and ended up with about 140. I was hoping for about 150, so it ended up being perfect. But we had the space/budget for the 220 if they all showed.

baystateapple

We invited 141, got 117, and in the end, only 110 ended up showing up (people RSVP'd with dates and then came solo, and one of my coworkers got really sick and couldn't come at the last minute).

We wanted around 125, but we had the space for 190.  So even if everyone had RSVP'd yes, we would have had plenty of room.

[Deleted User]

We had a pretty big decline rate, too. We invited about 200 people and about 115 showed up. I was upset at first, but then got over it quickly once I realized how much money were were saving. I know that sounds bad bc I really did want them there, but you can't worry about things you can't control.

IrishBrideND

I can imagine your one friend had a lot of declines because its NYE. Thats the risk of having a holiday wedding.

We invited just over 300 and had 222. We expected a lot of declines because all of our guests were OOT and had to fly or drive over 8 hours (but it wasn't really a destination wedding....long story)

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_were-surprised-many-people-were-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:178a4fb8-5121-4369-9da6-fd0df2ab8f48Post:133e3807-3fbd-485d-b8fd-793ffc34e389">Re: Were you surprised with how many people were at your wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a pretty big decline rate, too. We invited about 200 people and about 115 showed up. I was upset at first, but then got over it quickly once I realized how much money were were saving. I know that sounds bad bc I really did want them there, but you can't worry about things you can't control.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]
this is pretty much what happened for me.  We invited 200 and got 150.  we had a competing wedding which really cut down on the numbers.

Loopyseven

We invited 116 and had 99 in attendance (if best man had brought a date it would have cost us an extra like $750 cause of an increased rental rate if we hit 100 people - expensive date LOL)  Six of the declines are family in Germany that we knew wouldn't make the trip due to school schedules over there and stuff.  And we weren't totally surprised about any of the others.  

emilyinchile

Not counting the people who couldn't come last minute because of the earthquake, we had I think about 30 declines out of 180. It's not a lot, but we did have a few that surprised us because they were people who live in Santiago who we'd assumed would come and just ended up being out of town that day.

lyndausvi

We invited 174 people and 144 RSVP's yes.  We expected a 20% decline rate and that is about what we got.  All of our guests were OOT.

I was not surprised at the declines.  I was however happily surprised at some of the those who accepted.  I have a couple of cousins who do not attend local weddings and was shocked they decided to come to our OOT wedding.

kayakrunhike

We invited just under 200, and ended up with 130.  Out of that, we knew at least 40 of those people wouldn't be able to come beforehand, and several of the others couldn't come bc of health issues.  We were hoping for 125-150 (although we had the budget and space for more), so it worked out perfectly.

fallbride1109

A little surprised since 128 RSVP'd yes but we ended up with around 110.  We had several of week-of cancellations and 9 no-shows.  120 was our perfect number though so space-wise it was nice.

ehathewa

Invited 250, only had 150.  Some people who came were surprises, some people who couldn't make it were surprises. 

SaraAndrew2010

The total number of declines was about what I expected, but I was surprised by the breakdown.  There were probably about 8 people who we thought were not likely to come who RSVP'd yes.  And there were other people we thought would definitely be there who had conflicts and couldn't come.

opalsky007

I was really surprised and disappointed. We invited 125 and had 50 RSVP yes, then 5 last-minute declines--one of them even the morning of the wedding!

If I had known I was planning a wedding for fewer than 50, I would have planned pretty much everything differently. I was especially upset at having used a cut-rate photographer because he was all I could afford when I expected to have 125 mouths to feed.

salt78

You should always plan for everyone that you invite to attend. Your NYE friend did it wrong if she is worried about space now.

We had 15 guests. It was about what we expected since we had a destination wedding.

FutureMrsFezz

We invited 163.
152 RSVP yes
148 actually showed up.
(My aunt and uncle ended up getting the flu and not making it.  And a friend and her date never showed up and never even said- Hey, sorry I didn't make it because...)

stellaella

I'm shocked at the number of people who RSVP'd yes and then just never bothered to show up. Not including illness / last minute emergency: how rude is that? Did most of the people apologize after the wedding?

FutureMrsFezz

The "friend" of my H who didn't bother to show up with her date that she begged us two weeks before the wedding to allow her to bring after she RSVP'd yes withOUT a date never called H to tell him anything and we still haven't heard from her a year later.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_were-surprised-many-people-were-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:178a4fb8-5121-4369-9da6-fd0df2ab8f48Post:74a6f4da-f7db-43fe-b663-e06c08068320">Re: Were you surprised with how many people were at your wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm shocked at the number of people who RSVP'd yes and then just never bothered to show up. Not including illness / last minute emergency: how rude is that? Did most of the people apologize after the wedding?
Posted by stellaella[/QUOTE]

We knew ahead of time for all of them, it was just well after our final numbers were in. A cousin wound up sick, another cousin and her husband were in the middle of a custody situation, and FIL's cousin and her husband called sheepishly at the last minute to say that they couldn't afford the trip.

I felt really bad for them, and we missed having them. Both of them had just lost jobs and she was in cancer treatment. If they'd told us sooner, we would have paid for their room or something in order to get them there, but they were so embarrassed. I felt awful for them.

squirrly

We had a few more declines than I anticipated, but we ended up with people at the wedding who really wanted to be there, and I'm completely ok with that.

FutureMrsFezz

Squirrlys got an onion.

Calypso1977

i was surprised how many family and friends were thought were close to us blew off our wedding.  among those who blew it off:

1.  H's uncle and his wife (because they were pissed about a decision we made)
2.  2 of H's cousins (becuase they wanted to side with their parents so as to not get "cut off" financially)
3.  one of H's best friends from college (because his wife wouldnt let him come)
4.  one of my best friends from college (couldnt find a babysitter - they live next door to her parents, or she could have left them with her husband for the day)
5.  a couple who replied yes, then "forgot" until 3 days before our wedding that htey had to fly to NC for a baptism.  they proceeded to show up at my house with a check for their meals. 
6.  a couple who were like an aunt and uncle to me (they had to babysit their 40 year old son's kids because he is apparently incapable of finding them a sitter while he works or leaving them with their mother).

kellyjellybelly

We had a DW, so our numbers are kinda random due to that.  We invited just around 100 and had 70 in attendance.  I really thought we'd have about 30-35 when we started planning.  We did have 3 people not show up that had RSVPed yes, but those were unfortuantely due to the sudden death of a friend and a parent.

IrishBrideND

we only had 4 people RSVP yes and then not come. All were understandable (and they told us ahead).

The week before our wedding, my couson's BF killed himself. Obviously he couldn't make it, and she wasn't up to coming.

The day of, H's friend's GF got violently ill. He took her to the hospital and thats where they spent our wedding.

pinkpinot

I had a DW and 18 people came, which was more than I expected actually. 

I was in a wedding this past September and it was on a (very rainy) Monday.  I'm not sure how many people my friend invited but only about 30 people showed up.  I know her mom was upset, she delayed the ceremony for 15 minutes thinking & hoping more people would show up.   There were 5 completely empty tables at the reception. 

meganyani

I think ~70 said they were coming. We had maybe 60 there I think. My family who said they were coming all did since they had to fly here but the ones who were no-shows were friends of H. /shrug. Whatever.

heather011

We invited 178 and 155 showed up.

I really only wanted to invite 150 in the first place but FMIL insisted on adding and adding and adding.  The room theoretically had room for 200 so there was space but I knew it would be cramped if we had to do that.  But, she was paying half so I couldn't argue that much.

I ended up hoping for people to not come and it worked out alright, but I was really stressed waiting for our RSVPs to come back!  Like pps have said, a lot of the "they definitely won't come" people were the first ones to rsvp yes. 

I don't think anyone didn't show up the day-of.