No plus 1

Neicey122

I just finished designing printing my invites reply cards. I didn't add a section on the reply cards for guest. In the event people want to bring a guest should I add a note specifying limited space accommodations?
I don't want to come off rude but I don't need more people then planned.

ootmother3

no

aquari0216

no need......

artbyallie

Assuming you did invite all significant others together by name, you're good to go.

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:ffe6163d-ad09-4ac5-9d89-ac7f2cfb88b3">Re: No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]I am just putting the name of the invited guest, and spaces for choice of meal. That being said, IMHO, you have to leave some room in number of invites, in case some cousin, etc calls and says oh I got engaged last week.  Then you revise numbers.
Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

This scenario is unlikely, since the appropriate thing to do would be contact all your guests before the invitations go out and find out if they are in a relationship of any kind (bf/gf, engaged, married). You won't get surprise engagement calls that way.

But as PPs have said, assuming you invite everyone's SO by name on the invite, you do not need a place for write-ins. It's fine not to give truly single guests a plus-1 so you should be good.

ETA: But she does bring up a good point. Best to leave a buffer in your guest list to account for new relationships that might spring up prior to the invitations going out (or even the RSVP date)

Neicey122

Hmmm. I addressed all the invites for the married couples & nobody has said anything about a new friend. I have told everyone before hand that this will be a small ceremony/reception. My guest list is for 35. That's it! I'm thinking I'll hear more so from my family about a plus 1. 

They might not like me afterwards but I don't have to accommodate anyone I choose not to. I have a budget I'm not blowing. Me & FH are paying for this. I didn't expect anyone to offer to help so nobody else has a say but us.

Knottie_22382049

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:6fc9822b-d972-4718-acf3-53122e2221fe">Re: No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmmm. I addressed all the invites for the married couples & nobody has said anything about a new friend. I have told everyone before hand that this will be a small ceremony/reception. My guest list is for 35. That's it! I'm thinking I'll hear more so from my family about a plus 1.  They might not like me afterwards but I don't have to accommodate anyone I choose not to. I have a budget I'm not blowing. Me & FH are paying for this. I didn't expect anyone to offer to help so nobody else has a say but us.
Posted by Neicey122[/QUOTE]

<div>If anyone is in a relationship and brings that fact up to you you need to invite the SO. If they are asking for random plus 1's not you do not need to include them. </div>

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:6fc9822b-d972-4718-acf3-53122e2221fe">Re: No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmmm. I addressed all the invites for the married couples & nobody has said anything about a new friend. I have told everyone before hand that this will be a small ceremony/reception. My guest list is for 35. That's it! I'm thinking I'll hear more so from my family about a plus 1. <strong> They might not like me afterwards but I don't have to accommodate anyone I choose not to</strong>.<strong> I have a budget I'm not blowing</strong>. Me & FH are paying for this. I didn't expect anyone to offer to help so nobody else has a say but us.
Posted by Neicey122[/QUOTE]

This is a bad attitude.
Hate to break it to you, but 98% of people getting married most likely have a budget of some kind as well. You are <em>not </em>special in this regard.

You are acting as a host to your guests. If people are willing to spend part of their day to come see you get married (and most likely bring you a gift), it is your responsibility to host them properly.

If any one of your guests is dating or is engaged, it is your responsibility to properly host that person and invite his or her SO if you have not already done so.

A couple is a social unit. If you split up that unit when you send out your invites you are being a bad hostess. Becasue what you are essentially saying to a guest is this, "Dear guest, come celebrate my relationship despite the fact that I am disregarding yours. Please spend part of your weekend leaving the most important person in your life at home alone. Do not have a travel companion. Do not have dinner or dance partner. Do not pass go. Saving a few bucks is more important to me than making you comfortable at my wedding. But please feel free to compliment my pretty white dress. And don't forget to leave a gift on the table on your way out."

Sounds harsh, but it's exactly what it is when you don't invite SOs.


Now... if you're just talking about truly single guests (aka they do not consider themselves in relationships) you are in no way required to give them a "plus 1." If they give you grief for that they are in the wrong and you can simply say "I'm sorry. The invitation was just for you. I hope you can still attend!"

In your case though, it's great. Because with only 35 guests, including husband and wives, odds are there are probably only a few other SOs that you need to account for. Find out who they are, write their names on the invites, and cut back on flowers or something to stay in your budget.

Good luck!

Neicey122

Maybe I didn't word my last message correctly. Let me clear this up.

I have included spouses & known SO of the single individuals that I have already invited. 

I am only referring to people who take it upon their selves to invite some one else. 

Does that sound better? This post is being taken to left field.

Neicey122

Thanks Stagemanager14 for you input. I'll keep that in mind

Knottie_22382049

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:470e7eec-c243-4afe-9798-372d12b096e9">Re: No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe I didn't word my last message correctly. Let me clear this up. <strong>I have included spouses & known SO of the single individuals that I have already invited.</strong>  I am only referring to people who take it upon their selves to invite some one else.  Does that sound better? This post is being taken to left field.
Posted by Neicey122[/QUOTE]

<div>Your good then if they reply with random plus1's you can just say the invite was for them only. </div><div>
</div><div>You had only said married couples originally so it sounded like you were saying you were not including SO's. </div>

ErinElizabethR

I don't mean to thread jack, but I'm confused. Do SOs include people who your guests have only been on 1 or 2 dates together, and they admit they're not serious?

Neicey122

Doesn't matter. This post is dead

Knottie_22382049

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:14fb81cd-3b2c-4518-87da-87bf41ea6aaa">Re:No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't mean to thread jack, but I'm confused. Do SOs include people who your guests have only been on 1 or 2 dates together, and they admit they're not serious?
Posted by ErinElizabethR[/QUOTE]

<div>If they call themselves BF/GF or say they are in a relationship they are a SO no matter how long or short this realtionship has been. If they are just dating then no they are not a SO but if you have room to add plus 1's go ahead. </div>

Neicey122

Actually, the reception is for your GUESTS, not you. But honestly with that attitude, I think your family and friends may be better off if they DO cut you out of their lives for not inviting a SO. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE] A little over the edge on your part?

Neicey122

In Response to Re:No plus 1:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No plus 1:Hmmm. I addressed all the invites for the married couples nobody has said anything about a new friend. I have told everyone before hand that this will be a small ceremony/reception. My guest list is for 35. That's it! I'm thinking I'll hear more so from my family about a plus 1.

They might not like me afterwards but I don't have to accommodate anyone I choose not to. I have a budget I'm not blowing. Me amp; FH are paying for this. I didn't expect anyone to offer to help so nobody else has a say but us. Posted by Neicey122

1. You said married couples specifically. That is not the same as "anyone who is dating someone currently."

2. The second paragraph is a crappy attitude to have towards your guests. Etiquette actually says YOU do have to accompany certain people even if you don't want to. You may not have any of those people in your particular circumstance, but that doesn't make the belief okay.

If the post is going to left field, you cannot blame us. You are driving the golf cart, sweetie. We can only respond to what you write. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Instead of assuming ask if you don't know. Just a suggestion. You come off as attacking me!

emenz47

She wasn't attacking you. She was telling you the truth .

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:4b47f98a-6fde-42d2-acba-7d7456edf97d">Re:No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]Doesn't matter. This post is dead
Posted by Neicey122[/QUOTE]
You don't actually get to decide that.

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:17abba75-6d40-4e8f-bac8-5dbf2cab1e03Post:470e7eec-c243-4afe-9798-372d12b096e9">Re: No plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe I didn't word my last message correctly. Let me clear this up. I have included spouses & known SO of the single individuals that I have already invited.  I am only referring to people who take it upon their selves to invite some one else.  Does that sound better? This post is being taken to left field.
Posted by Neicey122[/QUOTE]

Your post definitely made it sound like you were only inviting spouses and the rest of the rest of the SOs got oh-well-it's-my-day'ed. But as I realized I could have been misinterpeted I also included advice on how to handle random plus-1s as well.

If you are planning to invite all the SOs you know of, that's great and it should be easy. You'll have very little to deal with.
But I would suggest, if possible, if there is anyone who <em>might </em>have a SO that you don't know about, to find out before you send out invites. This could help you avoid awkward phone calls. (someone writing in a person and your having to call and find out if they're in a relationship or not, accidentally not inviting a SO and offending a guest, etc).

Good luck!

allychase

In Response to Re:No plus 1:[QUOTE]Doesn't matter. This post is dead Posted by Neicey122[/QUOTE]

RIP post. Never got to live a full life..

mrsjoesmith

In Response to Re:No plus 1:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No plus 1:Doesn't matter. This post is dead Posted by Neicey122

RIP post. Never got to live a full life.. Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]
Hahaha!