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One point of view on Catholic convalidations

http://www.sorrowspetawawa.com/documents/Seven%20Steps%20to%20Convalidation.pdf As a Protestant, I thought this was a helpful article explaining convalidations. The end addresses rings, bridal parties, invitations.

Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations

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    The link isn't working for me. :(
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    Try this link. The first one is over-written by the ads on my device. It's a PDF. http://www.sorrowspetawawa.com/documents/Seven%20Steps%20to%20Convalidation.pdf
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    chelseamb11chelseamb11 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:b513765c-4990-4950-b65d-f74948e054fd">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations : So, how EXACTLY is it that I don't appreciate the real point to a covalidation and am intolerant when <strong>you think the EXACT SAME THING that I do?  </strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    She doesn't. She desn't appreciate the froufrou of it.  You don't appreciate the concept or the reasons why someone would feel the need to even do a convalidation.  There is a big difference.

    Edit: nevermind, I read the previous thread a little more closely.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:c9e81c56-7e66-468f-b3a8-d890e65792c9">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations : Wrong. Is it 'make up stupid shvit and blame Stage for saying it" day?  I missed the memo. The ONLY things I ever said I didn't like about the post below were  1. The wedding party and  2. The couple wearing wedding attire So, how exactly is that different than Kristen not thinking it is appropriate to 1. have a wedding party and 2. wearing traditional wedding attire  ? Obviously there is no difference, which is why she hasn't responded.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


    Did you not read my edit (which you even quoted)? I said nevermind.  I actually agree with you.  As did the poster who originally argued with you in the previous thread.  She admitted that she understood you wrong (which I originally did too when I just skimmed).  I  admitted I read you wrong before you even posted, so I'm not sure why you're claiming I'm making crap up.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:ce9c9787-416a-479d-bf70-051066750a32">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations : Because all dammed day, people have been "skimming" my posts, accusing me of things I didn't say, and then going "oops! my bad.  I didn't actually read what you wrote, and now that I have I realize I was wrong."  No schbit, Sherlock.   It's getting more than a bit irritating.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Well my apologies for reading it wrong. 
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    So... I should probably not accuse Stage of claiming to sleep with my uncle, Bruce Wayne, today. :p Curses, all my fun in jumping on the wild accusation train is ruined.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations:[QUOTE]Ahhh, yes, Stage.nbsp; We all so negligently skim your posts when you don't even spell my name right.nbsp; nbsp; Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    I'm not sure why you've decided to pick a fight with Stage today, but I can assure you that you won't look back on this and consider it the best idea you've ever had.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    edited February 2013
    In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations:I tend to think most people have a bit of a persecution complex around here, but Stage is often called out as the badguy when she hasn't said anything others haven't or hasn't said anything at all. Stage complains about everyone misreading her and calling her out because it happens all. the. time. I'd be annoyed too, and my feathers don't ruffle easy. Posted by Liatris2010 Exactly. She gets 'quoted' all the time with threads she didn't even participate in.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations:In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations: I'm not sure why you've decided to pick a fight with Stage today, but I can assure you that you won't look back on this and consider it the best idea you've ever had.Posted by PeledreamsofrainI'm just laughing at the irony.nbsp; If it's such a sin for me to misread her post, and she is fine in complaining that "people have been "skimming" my posts, accusing me of things I didn't say, and then going "oops! my bad. nbsp;I didn't actually read what you wrote, and now that I have I realize I was wrong.".nbsp; And, yet she can't spell my name?nbsp; I just find it comical.And, I also apologized for misreading her post.nbsp; I attempted to be graceful here, and apparently that's not kosher. Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    Snarking at someone for not accepting an apology exposes how insincere it was in the first place.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    FWIW, I struggled for a long time with how on the one hand the catholic church did not see me and my ex as truly married without convalidation since we did JOP but on the other hand they recognize legal marriages.  Then when I got an annulment from my ex through the church I had to produce my legal divorce papers along with their required documentation and petitions and so forth. So that right there proved to me better than anything else that the legal marriage is just as legit in the church even though not fully sacramental, since you cannot get an annulment without a legal divorce.  If the church ceremony was all you needed then they wouldn't care what you did through the courts either way.  It helped clear up things for me and may help those who wonder why toning it down for a convalidation so as not to mirror an actual wedding, makes the most sense. 
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    Stage - unrelated, but I just want to say that now whenever you post I picture that angry cat/keyboard gangster is actually the one posting and it kind of makes my day.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:899c6dc8-39a9-4e9d-bce1-c0aa7b75b599">Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations : Of course not!  You KNOW I'm a Marvel girl, Pele.  If I was sleeping with any of your uncles, it would be Uncle Logan and we both know it.   
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]



    Haha! I had to ask my comic-loving husband to explain this to me.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    OH no no no, no incest issues for me tyvm. That hotness is no relation of mine! Mmmm Wolverine.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    NariaDNariaD member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:5cddbd33-0c82-4989-bc4d-714dff1b8fa4">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]FWIW, here's part what OP posted in the Catholic boards: " I know convalidations are normally low-key events, and in no way do I want this to be a "do over" or "pretty princess day", but would it be crass to invite our family and CLOSE friends who were unable to make it to our civil ceremony overseas in addition to our parish family who would be attending anyway? I'm thinking it would be less than 50 people total. Any sort of "reception" would be low key- probably dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants. " So, it never crossed my mind that she'd have the big wedding day.  There are some conflicting sentiments in her post on the Etiquette board.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>To clarify: I do plan on wearing a wedding dress... but not somthing over the top. Conservative/modest (probably a halter or strapless A-line with no crinoline and a bolero), and as for the wedding party- my intention wasn't to have a huge processional, but rather as a position of honor, to recoginze those people in our lives who have been our "rocks" in the storm of the past year. Not a matchy-dress, flowers, tux sort of ordeal, but rather as people who would sit with us during Mass, in a seat of honor, so to speak. </div><div>
    </div><div>This is the dress I've been eyeing since we started looking at doing this. I just don't feel that a cocktail dress would be appropriate for a church seeting, KWIM? If I could find something similar without a train, even better

    <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-A-Line-Gown-with-Pleated-Waist-Detail-9SAS1202_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-A-Line">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-A-Line-Gown-with-Pleated-Waist-Detail-9SAS1202_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-A-Line</a>

    </div>
    withgod Meme
    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
    TTC #1 since 10.2011
    BFP 8.27.11 M/C. BFP #2 4.2.12 M.C
    2.8.13- dx with simple endometrial hyperplasia. 3 cycles of provera.
    3/6/12-dx with raynaud?s syndrome
    PGAL/PAL/PAIF/SAIF all welcome!
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    edited February 2013
    That dress is too much for a Convalidation IMHO.  Try looking at cream or white evening gowns.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    This thread went way beyond what I would have expected. Stage, I find your that your posts really get to the heart of the matter. Frequently I read yours, and then must go back to the original post, realizing I misunderstood or missed a point. Thank you. Kristan, I went to the Catholic board last week to read up on something I had a question about and was really impressed with that board and your posts in particular. I remember your posts as I remember your shoes.
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    edited February 2013
    I'd go with something like GLB or Lia recommended. What you put up is still a traditional wedding dress. Sparkles and crinoline don't make it a wedding gown. My dress is not much more elaborate than what you posted.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:be0dc590-f196-45cd-86ec-f8dc7ce022ff">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was thinking more along the lines of these: <a href="http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/alex-evenings-dress-sleeveless-v-neck-evening-gown?ID=581876&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D34" rel="nofollow">http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/alex-evenings-dress-sleeveless-v-neck-evening-gown?ID=581876&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D34</a> <a href="http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/marina-dress-short-sleeve-v-neck-beaded-lace-evening-gown?ID=590083&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D19" rel="nofollow">http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/marina-dress-short-sleeve-v-neck-beaded-lace-evening-gown?ID=590083&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D19</a> <a href="http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/js-boutique-dress-cap-sleeve-beaded-pleated-evening-gown?ID=782066&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D59" rel="nofollow">http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/js-boutique-dress-cap-sleeve-beaded-pleated-evening-gown?ID=782066&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D59</a>
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm kind of in love with this one! 

    <a href="http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/alex-evenings-dress-sleeveless-v-neck-evening-gown?ID=581876&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D34" rel="nofollow">http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/alex-evenings-dress-sleeveless-v-neck-evening-gown?ID=581876&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_LENGTH%3DLong%26DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D94%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D34</a>

    I'm a bit on the er, fluffy, side currently so I might have to shop around. but this is a GREAT inspiration photo- THANK YOU!

    </div>
    withgod Meme
    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
    TTC #1 since 10.2011
    BFP 8.27.11 M/C. BFP #2 4.2.12 M.C
    2.8.13- dx with simple endometrial hyperplasia. 3 cycles of provera.
    3/6/12-dx with raynaud?s syndrome
    PGAL/PAL/PAIF/SAIF all welcome!
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    I would definately go with something along the lines of the one GoodLuckBear posted.  And chances are that since you're going away from the traditional bridal store, it will probably be less expensive too (added bonus).
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:1ede893b-91cd-4a06-a960-a990a8e47928">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think it is fluffy at all. Paired with a bolero, I think it would be really nice.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>The dress isn't fluffy... I am <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

    I refuse to use that other word that starts with F to describe my current shape. </div>
    withgod Meme
    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
    TTC #1 since 10.2011
    BFP 8.27.11 M/C. BFP #2 4.2.12 M.C
    2.8.13- dx with simple endometrial hyperplasia. 3 cycles of provera.
    3/6/12-dx with raynaud?s syndrome
    PGAL/PAL/PAIF/SAIF all welcome!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:837b2588-66f2-4b31-b542-7e5fe064af5a">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just because you have a convalidation does NOT mean you "have" to have the three-ring circus that goes with a WEDDING. You're already married. You are having the SACRAMENTAL ceremony. Quit using at as an excuse to have the do-over.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Read the whole thread.  A three ring circus is not what she is planning at all.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:a928b4d9-713e-4d24-8d03-a723c4b62c8a">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations : She is planning to wear a wedding gown and veil, and to have three bridesmaids.  That doesn't sound like any convalidation I have ever heard of, but it does sound a lot like a PPD.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <strong><em>and as for the wedding party- my intention wasn't to have a huge processional, but rather as a position of honor, to recoginze those people in our lives who have been our "rocks" in the storm of the past year. Not a matchy-dress, flowers, tux sort of ordeal, but rather as people who would sit with us during Mass, in a seat of honor, so to speak.

    </em></strong>Also, if you read further you'd see that one of the dresses I posted is what she is using as her inspirational dress.  Sometimes you just have to see some alternatives.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    edited February 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:a928b4d9-713e-4d24-8d03-a723c4b62c8a">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations : She is planning to wear a wedding gown and veil, and to have three bridesmaids.  That doesn't sound like any convalidation I have ever heard of, but it does sound a lot like a PPD.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <strong><em>and as for the wedding party- my intention wasn't to have a huge processional, but rather as a position of honor, to recoginze those people in our lives who have been our "rocks" in the storm of the past year. Not a matchy-dress, flowers, tux sort of ordeal, but rather as people who would sit with us during Mass, in a seat of honor, so to speak.

    </em></strong>Also, if you read further you'd see that one of the dresses I posted is what she is using as her inspirational dress.  Sometimes you just have to see some alternatives.</div>
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:e6290755-d6ce-4703-bbdf-f93a036bf036">Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One point of view on Catholic convalidations : and as for the wedding party- my intention wasn't to have a huge processional, but rather as a position of honor, to recoginze those people in our lives who have been our "rocks" in the storm of the past year. Not a matchy-dress, flowers, tux sort of ordeal, but rather as people who would sit with us during Mass, in a seat of honor, so to speak. Also, if you read further you'd see that one of the dresses I posted is what she is using as her inspirational dress.  Sometimes you just have to see some alternatives.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
    To be fair, you're both right.

    Her original plan is what CMG said and that poster backtracked and is now planning what goodluckbear posted.

    I'm not sure what that poster's most current plan is, though.It might have changed again lol.
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-point-of-view-on-catholic-convalidations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:181de30d-eb46-4277-a60f-97afdd0925fcPost:b90e0834-a242-4267-8fe6-ee2bab7c13e0">Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:One point of view on Catholic convalidations: I'm not sure why you've decided to pick a fight with Stage today, but I can assure you that you won't look back on this and consider it the best idea you've ever had.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    <div>Totally.  Not a battle I would enter in unprepared... or ever really.</div>
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