Do I buy BMs jewelry that they already have?

Jenni8412

I'm thinking pearls would look awesome with my BM's red dresses... I know if I'm asking them to wear specific jewelry or shoes, etc that I should be buying it for them. It just seems weird to me to be buying them pearls, when they already have some... Is it against etiquette to ask them to wear something specific that they already have?

adamar15

You could say, "hey I think pearls would look great with that dress,"  but other than that I'd let them have the final decision on their jewelry.

NOLAbridealmost

I don't think it goes against etiquette to ask the bridesmaids to wear something they already own and not offer to pay for it.  Brides do that all the time with shoes in a particular color (black, silver, etc.) that most girls already would own. 

annakb8

Yeah, just ask them to wear their pearls. If someone does not own any I wouldn't ask them to go buy some, but if you think all your friends own a strand of pearls it's fine to ask them to wear them.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-buy-bms-jewelry-that-they-already-have?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1877b7fd-1723-4e47-9bd8-e51fd14a729bPost:37b3ac57-69fd-49a9-b698-650fccb70ca6">Re: Do I buy BMs jewelry that they already have?</a>:
[QUOTE]You could say, "hey I think pearls would look great with that dress,"  but other than that I'd let them have the final decision on their jewelry.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this.</div>

Jenni8412

Awesome, I think I'll go the suggestion route. I picked out color and fabric, but am letting them pick out their silhouette so they can get something comfortable and flattering... So I figure the nudge will work best in keeping with them all feeling beautiful in their own way as well. Thank you!

dramaqueen91087

My girls decided on their own to all wear pearls (they actually have pretty much decided to match everything all on their own!). I have one girl who doesn't have any but does want to match the other, so I offered to either loan her some of mine or buy her a strand. She actually decided to buy her own, but I told her she didn't need to. I think if they already have it its fine, just make sure no one is left out.

lyndausvi

I couldn't care less what my girls wore, but THEY cared. They were really annoyed I didn't care.  

 So I finally said, "You all have diamond studs right?"

They all said "yes"

I said "good, then wear them. Now I made a decision.  BTW -  I don't care about the rest of the jewelry."

They all wore the diamond studs and the rest of the stuff was their choice.  I didn't like one of my SIL's necklaces.  Not in a 'Oh they are ruining my pictures" kind of way, I just thought it was ugly.  Never said anything to her about it.  

HannahK15

I'm in the boat with lyndausvi, I could really careless about the jewerly my girls wear. I wouldn't want to buy them jewelry anyway because they all have different styles, plus one of them has a metal allergy and is allergic to a lot of jewelry. I'll probably suggest that wear some sort of silver jewelry but other than that I'm just going with wear something nice that makes you feel like you and comfortable.

AFP07

I told everyone to wear jewelery that doesn't clash or draw unnecessary attention to itself, and shoes they already owned, so there's nothing wrong with saying pearls.

I do have to give them necklaces as presents because my mom demanded that jewelery or keepsake ceramic boxes were the ONLY APPROPRIATE BRIDESMAID GIFT EVER and that anything else would be tacky or make the family look bad. Since three of the bridesmaids are relatives I caved.

rebarobert2012

I don't see anything wrong with asking them if they will wear their pearls if they already have some.  I guess that the worst they can do is say no.  If I were a bridesmaid, I wouldn't be offended if the bride asked me to wear a piece of jewelry that I already had.