How do you "read" an invitation?

arendiva

Until I joined this site I never knew that the formality of an event was set by the invitation. Every invitation I've ever gotten I have just marked the date on my calendar and sent in my rsvp without a thought to the style of the invite. I'm not sure what subtleties I'm supposed to be looking for. Now having said that, I've always managed to dress myself appropriately to any occassion I've attend. I default evening coctail dress unless told otherwise. But as I'm shopping around for invites it has me wondering what message mine will send.

I would like my event to be semiformal. (read as men in slacks and blazers, women in coctail dresses or pant suits). My event is evening but I don't want guests to feel like they need to rent a tux or buy a full length gown. I really don't know what cues people pick up on in invites that would make them dress one way or another. what should I avoid so guests don't get the wrong idea.

I really don't care how guests dress. I just want people to have a good time and not feel over or underdressed when they get here.

jessicabessica

Things that make an invitation more formal, IMO:

- fancier font (script)

- fancier paper and printing 

- less color

- minimal graphics, and any graphics are sophisticated-looking

- inner envelope

- calligraphy on envelopes

- use of titles in the addresses

- lined envelope

- RSVP cards rather than online RSVP

All that said, I default cocktail dress, too, and have never felt overdressed.  And I don't think anyone would think they needed a tux or gown unless you said black tie on the invitation.  

Summer2011Bride

Ditto PP. I would never think tux or long gown unless it stated "black tie." I also usually wear a cocktail dress and have never felt out of place.

I think even more so than the invitiation, I usually look at the venue. If it's outside at a park, while I will wear a dress, it may be one step down from a fancy cocktail dress and I will probably wear wedges or nice flats instead of heels since I'll be on grass. If it's at a Church, I will dress accordingly, etc.

cwaggoner07

I also pay attention to the time of day/day of the week.
If it's a Sunday brunch wedding, I may wear a lighter, more conservative dress, whereas Saturday night at 7, I may do a fancier cocktail dress.

s-aries8990

Default to a more formal invite as described by Jessica. I think that semiformal is the default "feel" for most standard wedding invites. Having a more rustic invite with rustic themes /very  informal invite (the one page print out three fold in standard envelopes sort-of-thing) denotes a more casual wedding.

I also agree with Summer- the venue has a lot to do with the way people will dress. If you have a website, maybe post a link to the venue.

Calypso1977

i dont pay much attention to the style of the invite anymore, becuase so many people have very elegant, $40K weddings, but they make their own invites, use vistaprint, etc. so the invitations are not really on par with the style of the event.

i focus more on the location and time of day.  if its at a country club, i know i need a nice outfit.  if its at a VFW during the daytime, i usually wear something simpler.  if its in a place of worship, i always make sure im dressed as i would dress at my own church.

catwine

i look for the style of writing.

our invite said
David and Christina are getting married!
Please join us at ceremony lcoation at 2:00 on Sunday October 28, 2012
Join us again at reception location at 6:00.

Our wedding is super simple and casual.

I got an invite that was printed on cardstock and it was being held at a community centre so i assumed the dress code ws casual.  Nope!! i checked with teh bride and she said semi formal.

Cortney1982

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-do-you-read-an-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18b09699-2a38-491a-9326-57fcd1f117a8Post:c94cb102-aefc-486e-a58b-407d63c90783">Re: How do you "read" an invitation?</a>:
[QUOTE]I got an invite that was printed on cardstock and it was being held at a community centre so i assumed the dress code ws casual.  Nope!! i checked with teh bride and she said semi formal.
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

Just because an invite is on card stock does not mean it's casual.  I refused to spend a ton of money on the invitations.  I used my wedding colors and it had a fun geometric design.  I dressed it up with a bow and used a basic envelope.  The reception was still semi-formal.  Unless the invite says black tie I would dress semi-formal to be respectful.

Gabrielle76

More formal 'traditional' wording is a clue for me, as well as color scheme (more  blacks, creams, and golds look 'fancy' to me.) and heft and printing style.  Letterpress says more formal than print. 

However, that's only if the invitation matches how the rest of it sounds.  If you give me a beautiful formal gold invitation to a 4:00 wedding in a park, I'm going to go more casual, the invitation isn't going to make me think that it's formal.  However, if I get that same invitation for a wedding at a nice hotel at 6:00, It's going to confirm that I should go more formal. 

arendiva

this is what we were thinking about doing. Bear in mind that this is a crappy screenshot

ETA: we would be having coordinating RSVP cards and thank you notes.

Gabrielle76

What kind of paper is it on, what's the printing style, and how big is it?

It hits me as fairly casual (like, a nice skirt and blouse), but obviously it would also depend on the location and time. 

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

I have never really been to a casual wedding, they have all been in the evening hours, so I usually just wear a knee length cocktail dress. I never read much into the invitation. I did just receive a very plain invitation that stated the event was black tie optional which I was told means that guys are OK to wear suits..but I thought wearing suits was the normal thing to do for guys unless otherwise specified. I think as PP have suggested, it's better to base your outfit off of the time of day and the location versus the invitation.

s-aries8990

I think the leaves may make it more casual, but if you can get those colors with another design- maybe scrolling?- it may better portray the feel of the event you want to host

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I also default to cocktail attire. I've never worn a long gown to a wedding. In my circle, cocktail attire is pretty standard. Do people at the weddings you attend lean towards dressing up? Honestly, I wasn't worried anyone from my family would wear, say, jeans to a wedding because that's just not what they do. My wedding was semi-formal/cocktail attire and my dad wore a nice new suit and my mom bought a typical MOB dress.

I also had a few people ask what was appropriate. (My dad did, in fact, but I think he wanted to know more like whether or not we were going to ask him to rent a tux.)

ETA: I would wear a cocktail dress to that event. But like I said, it depends what other people you know tend to do.

DramaGeek

That invitation is pretty standard for around here.  Assuming it was a late afternoon or evening wedding, I'd wear the same thing I always wear - a skirt and blouse or dress.  But nothing here (at least, in my circle) is overly dressy; that's about as dressed up as we get.