BM Dress ordering - how to handle?

DivaJenD

My BM's live in various states, so ordering their dresses all together (everyone physically being in the same place at the same time) is not an option.

I would like to have all the dresses ordered at the same time so that they all come from the same dye lot and I don't have to worry about the dresses being slightly diff colors if ordered separately... (going the traditional route of everyone in the same dress)

What is the best approach? Do I order the dresses and ask everyone to provide money to me (and if so, how)? This method seems unavoidably rude, so I'm not sure how best to deal with this issue... I'm sure others have had to deal with BMs living far away... how do I handle this?

AdeleDazeem

Both times I was a MOH, the girls sent their measurements and a check to the bride and she ordered all the dresses at once.

I don't think dye lot differences are such a big deal now as they use much more advanced methods to get the colors.  You could always just tell where to order, what the final date to order is, and let them do it themselves.

OliveOilsMom

Some bridal salons will also allow the girls to call them up and give a credit card over the phone.  But as Joy said, the dye lots aren't as big a deal as they once were, so maybe give them the designer, dress number, and color and let each girl go to a local shop to buy them (unless you get a big discount for their dresses buying together).  That way, the dress won't need to be shipped after your local shop gets them in.

Avion22

I have never once seen bridesmaid dresses that were supposed to be the same colors but varied noticeably due to "dye lot" issues.  I think the "dye lot" excuse is BS made up by stores, because of course they want you to order all of your dresses from THEM so they make all the money.

Tami87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-dress-ordering-how-to-handle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:18c001e4-9346-45c9-8d45-e0e25faf8e6ePost:dfb46e8f-d40e-4ffa-bda6-5c41411614b1">Re: BM Dress ordering - how to handle?</a>:
[QUOTE]Some bridal salons will also allow the girls to call them up and give a credit card over the phone.  But as Joy said, the dye lots aren't as big a deal as they once were, so maybe give them the designer, dress number, and color and let each girl go to a local shop to buy them (unless you get a big discount for their dresses buying together).  That way, the dress won't need to be shipped after your local shop gets them in.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

All 3 of my girls were in different states than me. I went with a designer that was available at bridal stores throughout the country. Told the girls the designer, length and color I wanted and two of the girls ordered them on their own at stores close to them. One ordered through the store I got my dress at because they were willing to give a discount. She sent me her measurements and I ordered the dress and picked it up. She then mailed me a check and I shipped her the dress where she altered it herself (she is a seamstress). Worked out fine and the colors all matched perfectly. I agree that dye lots don't seem to be as big of a deal anymore.

shanding4787

I picked out a dress in the girls' budget, had them get their measurements and send me a check and I ordered them myself.

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bm-dress-ordering-how-to-handle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:18c001e4-9346-45c9-8d45-e0e25faf8e6ePost:dfb46e8f-d40e-4ffa-bda6-5c41411614b1">Re: BM Dress ordering - how to handle?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Some bridal salons will also allow the girls to call them up and give a credit card over the phone.</strong>  But as Joy said, the dye lots aren't as big a deal as they once were, so maybe give them the designer, dress number, and color and let each girl go to a local shop to buy them (unless you get a big discount for their dresses buying together).  That way, the dress won't need to be shipped after your local shop gets them in.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

When my sister got married in 2006, her MOH lived in Vegas, one BM was in LA and the rest of us lived in WI(where my sister lives) so the 2 out of staters just called their measurements in with their CC by the date set for all of us to get our dresses ordered. The store than ordered all of the dresses once all 5 BMs had their dress order placed.

Idk if we went with a "store brand" designer or not but the salon we ordered from was the only salon that carried that designer. The MOH and BM both went to local salons by them and couldn't find the designer anywhere and when they called with their measurements, they both asked and found out the designer was exclusive to that salon. So that is something to keep in mind when ordering dresses. They did find a similar style dress to try on, it was a strapless A-line, so pretty basic and fits most body types. The 3 BMs that selected the dress were the heaviest and smallest as well as the tallest and shortest BMs, so we were all pretty sure the other 2 would look good in the dress(as they were about the same size as the smallest/tallest BM).

B2Z728

I picked out a dress within the girls' budget and sent them all a picture of it to make sure they liked it. Some of them were able to come to the bridal store to see it in person and try it on. Those girls then got measured by the bridal store and paid a deposit. The few girls that lived out of town got their measurements taken somewhere else and were able to call up the bridal store to relay their information and pay with a credit card over the phone. Once all deposits were paid the store ordered the dresses as one order. All transactions were handled through the store which made it much easier and one less thing for me to worry about. 

itzMS

Consider using JCrew or Banana Republic bridesmaid dresses. The sizing is consistent and the dresses can be ordered online.

Some of the bridesmaids-only lines like Watters, Dessy, Alfred Angelo or even David's Bridal can be a PITA to get and you almost always have to go to a bridal salon to order. And, usually said bridal salons are only open from 8-5 on weekdays or by appointment only in some areas.

QueerFemme

Also, just a head's up, the dye lot isn't necessarily going to be the same, even if you order at the same time.  Often, manufacturerers will have some dresses "in stock".  So, if they happen to have the dress style/color/size you need in stock, you will get that one and they will make the others, even if you ordered at the same time. 

So, just because you order all at the same time, may not mean they are dying the fabric all at the same time for those dresses.

emeejeeayen

check out weddingtonway.com

sleepyb

In Response to Re:BM Dress ordering how to handle?:[QUOTE]Also, just a head's up, the dye lot isn't necessarily going to be the same, even if you order at the same time.nbsp; Often, manufacturerers will have some dresses "in stock".nbsp; So, if they happen to have the dress style/color/size you need in stock, you will get that one and they will make the others, even if you ordered at the same time.nbsp; So, just because you order all at the same time, may not mean they are dying the fabric all at the same time for those dresses. Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what I was told last night at David's Bridal when I was setting up my profile for my bridesmaids.

maggieandrey

I would have all the girls call in their measurements and payment info into whatever bridal store you choose from. If they're uncomfortable calling it in, have them mail a check in. This happens frequently enough that it shouldn't be a big deal if the store you're using has good  customer sevice.

As far as dye lots, ask the store you order through, because it does vary as broadly as what PP's have described here.

cnf2013

I don't think dye lot is really an excuse. The dye is mixed by computer, not by hand, so there's really no variance, as previously mentioned.

I told my girls to shop around and find the best deal they could since they're scattered and I can't justify making them all drive hours to see me just to order their dress. As long as they're all ordered before the new year, I'm happy. One girl told me she ordered her today and she's the only one at this point. But I'm not concerned about dye lots. It's not a huge deal.

warpedredpenguin

When I was a BM, the bride gave us all a color and designer, and we ordered our own dresses. Our dresses were the same color, even though mine was bought used, and made over a year before the others. So I would just let the girls order from whoever is closest that carries the dress you're wanting.

Viczaesar

The now non-issue of dye lots is a terrible reason to inconvenience your bridesmaids, IMHO.

DivaJenD

Thanks for all the feedback! I appreciate it!!