Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding crashers?

so I work for a small department and they will be invited (by professional custom) to the wedding. There are a few people within the hospital (different departments and a per diem person) that say they are just going to crash the wedding after dinner. Ie "you do don't have to feed me... I'm just going to shown up after dinner" I just don't have a response when they say that. Suggestions.

Re: Wedding crashers?

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    I'd laugh it off.

    And, I'd stop talking about the wedding at work.
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    Wow, how incredibly rude.   Do they know where/when the wedding is?

    My advice would be to stop talking about wedding stuff at work.  If you are close friends with anyone you HAVE invited from work (who knows the would-be-crashers) then maybe let them in on the fact that these people will NOT be invited so please make sure nobody tells them wedding details so they don't get their fellings hurt (real reason: so they don't know where/when to crash)."

    And if they do crash, then just go with it.  I mean, if you really don't want them there you could hire security.  But if you think they're harmless, then just brush it off.   But yeah, everyone will wonder who the random crashers are and know that they are tasteless and rude.
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    That is so awkward and rude.  Especially if you are having an open bar and they want to come run it up.

    I can be blunt at times and if it were me, I would just tell them that while you appreciate their interest in your upcoming marriage but that crashing after dinner is not an option as you just can't accomodate them.  When I hear people say these things that tells me that they do this stuff and ignoring it can be a mistake.  They will think since they mentioned it and you didn't veto it, it is ok.
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    I was shocked when they said it. It's not that I would be upset if they were there its just you have to draw the line somewhere with the invites and for me it was full time people only. Not per diems.... Which we have a lot of. The other department people I am friendly with but just not invite to wedding friendly. My work is very interconnected. Asking me about the wedding is daily conversation.... Just like asking how someone's kid is. Awkward. I going to stick with laughing it off and if they really do show up hope I dont get charged extra for it...... It's not like there is a head count at the door :)
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    I would laugh it off. Surely as adults they are only kidding. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Laugh and say as long as they aren't planning on hitting the bar either its ok with you. I'm sure some will get the point and if not the more the merrier on the dance floor.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    Do these people seem serious or just joking?

    If they appear to just be joking, I'd ignore them, but if they seem serious, I think you need to tell them directly, "Look, we need you not to crash or even say that you'll just show up.  We aren't going to be able to deal with anyone not invited, period."

    Then, stop talking about your wedding in front of people who are not invited.  And give a heads-up to venue staff, family members, and your coordinator if you have one, not to admit these uninvited people.
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    Oh yes they are serious. I'm just going to discourage it and just deal with it should they show.
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