Thank you note?

bucky2012 · November 2012

My MOH threw me a bridal shower and bachelorette party this past weekend. She really did a great job planning and really made it a wonderful weekend for me. She did not get me a shower gift, but I really was not expecting one as she is going through a lot in her life right now and her financial situation is not good. My question is should I send her a thank you note? I don’t want to call attention to her not giving a gift at the shower as I don’t want her to feel weird or uncomfortable about it, but I really want to send her a thank you note for throwing me this great shower and b-party. You guys always give great advice, please let me know how best to handle this. TIA!

Avion22 · November 2012

Better yet, why not take her out to lunch/coffee/drinks and thank her in person (and pay for her meal)?

Sharpschruter22 · November 2012

Her gift was throwing you the shower, which is very generous, as showers don't pay for themselves. Absolutely write her a thank you and send flowers.

Viczaesar · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-note?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:193c957d-5816-4c3a-a2cc-801728695a46Post:04632a90-3c36-4d0d-863b-a7bb54bdf82b">Thank you note?</a>:
[QUOTE]My MOH threw me a bridal shower and bachelorette party this past weekend. She really did a great job planning and really made it a wonderful weekend for me. She did not get me a shower gift, but I really was not expecting one as she is going through a lot in her life right now and her financial situation is not good. My question is should I send her a thank you note? I don’t want to call attention to her not giving a gift at the shower as I don’t want her to feel weird or uncomfortable about it, but I really want to send her a thank you note for throwing me this great shower and b-party. You guys always give great advice, please let me know how best to handle this. TIA!
Posted by bucky2012[/QUOTE]

She threw a shower for you - that was her gift. You should absolutely thank her for it.

jessicabessica · November 2012

Definitely send her a thank you note for the parties. Many people give their shower hostesses a small gift--flowers, bottle of wine, baked goods, etc.--which is not necessary, but nice if you can swing it.

joeyryan · November 2012

I would send a note, thanking her for the incredible party. THEN take her out to dinner. Say you want to have a "girls night"- your treat- so you can enjoy some one-on-one time with her now that the party is over. Try to limit wedding-conversation and just have fun and make her feel appreciated. She sounds like someone you're lucky to know

HandBanana · November 2012

I like the idea of taking her out to lunch or dinner. I understand your concern about writing a thank you note and bringing attention to her not getting you a gift but know that she won't see it that way. Did you thank her at the shower?

misssunshine17 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-note?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:193c957d-5816-4c3a-a2cc-801728695a46Post:57fd90db-3a6d-42fa-bcc9-eeeea3c189e1">Re: Thank you note?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I would send a note, thanking her for the incredible party. THEN take her out to dinner. Say you want to have a "girls night"- your treat- so you can enjoy some one-on-one time with her now that the party is over. </strong>Try to limit wedding-conversation and just have fun and make her feel appreciated. She sounds like someone you're lucky to know :)
Posted by joeyryan[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I threw a shower and it cost me $250ish (much more than I would have spent on a gift). The shower was her gift. I can't stand when people can't see it as such. </div>

bucky2012 · November 2012

Thanks for all of the great ideas! We live 2 states apart so unfortunately cant take her out to dinner or lunch but love the idea of sending her flowers and a nice thank you card. And yes I did thank her at the party and the day after in person, but just really wanted to do more than a verbal thank you and wasnt sure what the right thing to do would be. She is really a great friend and the party was wonderful, so I really appreciate the advice!