rehearsal dinner question - guest list

packlite

Hi, we are about to send out RD invites and I had a few questions

1.  Do we need to send actual formal invites, or would we be ok with evites or email or word of mouth?

2.  we are going to invite all of our WP, Reader, Officiant, Planner, 2 Flower girls and her mom and guest (mom is divorced) our parents, grandparents and siblins - along with the S/O or guests of the adults invited.  Question - we are not planning to invite our nieces and nephews b/c of the size of room we reserved and b/c they will not be attending rehearsal - does this sound OK - are we missing anyone or adding people who don't need to attend?

thanks,
PL

danieliza1127

Paper invites or e-mail/phone calls are fine, either way. 

It sounds like you have the guest list covered.  I think it's fine not to invite your nieces and nephews, just let your siblings know the reason why and ask if they're okay with getting a babysitter for dinner.  That's what we did with our wedding party, and they were all great with it since they were bringing their kids to the wedding the next night anyway.

squirrly

Word of mouth or email are just fine! 

packlite

thanks! the nieces/nephews are all teenagers or pre-teens so we are thinking that they will want to hang out at the hotel with other family members and go swimming at the pool instead of attend a rehearsal and fancy meal.  maybe we could have pizzas delivered for them at the hotel?

Pirata13

That's fine! We did paper invites, found cute ones that went with our theme at Target for $5 a pack. 

mysticl

I have been to several rehearsal dinners and never received an offical invite.  When I was in the wedding I was just informed via phone or e-mail of the rehearsal and the RD.  When I was an OOT guest I was staying with the groom's sister who is my bff and she informed me that I was going with her and her BF to the RD. 

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-question-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:196d248d-5b27-4edf-88e8-3622cdc6f8d4Post:5fb8fccf-3642-4d4b-9831-04e033e61ed4">rehearsal dinner question - guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, we are about to send out RD invites and I had a few questions 1.  Do we need to send actual formal invites, or would we be ok with evites or email or word of mouth? 2.  <strong>we are going to invite all of our WP, Reader, Officiant, Planner,</strong>2 Flower girls and her mom and guest (mom is divorced) our parents, grandparents and siblins - along with the S/O or guests of the adults invited.  Question - we are not planning to invite our nieces and nephews b/c of the size of room we reserved and b/c they will not be attending rehearsal - does this sound OK - are we missing anyone or adding people who don't need to attend? thanks, PL
Posted by packlite[/QUOTE]

Wait, am I supposed to be inviting our planner and officiant? If my list gets any bigger my head is going to explode.

I've also never received a formal invite for a RD. I'm sending out a massive email for everyone that's invited.

packlite

L-Bride, we are inviting the planner and officiant since they willb e at the rehearsal, my guess is that they will choose to not attend (that's what i have been told), but we are inviting them and they are welcome to join us!  We planned for them in our original headcount.

We will also feed our photographer as he will be at the dinner and rehearsal taking photos of everyone - I forgot him on the list earlier.

I just went with an evite based on all the responses people sent on this thread today - we will use that and word of mouth.

mayerel

You should definitly invite the officiant, the planner is probably more debatable!

As for the invitations, I've seen both done, the evite worked fine, we all got the idea, but it was a very small guest list and we were all pretty local. We're going to send out paper invites, but they will be easy and cheap (Target, PartyCity?)

jmkes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-question-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:196d248d-5b27-4edf-88e8-3622cdc6f8d4Post:5fb8fccf-3642-4d4b-9831-04e033e61ed4">rehearsal dinner question - guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, we are about to send out RD invites and I had a few questions 1.  Do we need to send actual formal invites, or would we be ok with evites or email or word of mouth? 2.  we are going to invite all of our WP, Reader, Officiant, Planner, 2 Flower girls and her mom and guest (mom is divorced) our parents, grandparents and siblins - along with the S/O or guests of the adults invited.  Question - we are not planning to invite our nieces and nephews b/c of the size of room we reserved and b/c they will not be attending rehearsal - does this sound OK - are we missing anyone or adding people who don't need to attend? thanks, PL
Posted by packlite[/QUOTE]

1. FILs are hosting and FMIL is doing paper invites.  I would've just done an email/evite if it were us hosting.

2.  We are inviting all the WP, officiant, DJ (he's doing ceremony music too) and spouses.  If your nieces and nephews are at an age old enough to be left alone then that should be fine.  If they are younger and live locally perhaps their parents (if they are attending the RD) could find a babysitter. 

sarahm727

Yes, you have to invite the officiant!!!!  He/she is taking as much time (if not more) to be at the rehearsal as the attendants are, so the officiant should be invited to the dinner!!!! 

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-question-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:196d248d-5b27-4edf-88e8-3622cdc6f8d4Post:5479dfb6-9dcd-4371-b1a2-604704ac1147">Re: rehearsal dinner question - guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, you have to invite the officiant!!!!  <strong>He/she is taking as much time (if not more) to be at the rehearsal as the attendants are</strong>, so the officiant should be invited to the dinner!!!! 
Posted by sarahm727[/QUOTE]

What's with all the !!!!!s? You can't compare the officiant to attendants. I'm already paying the officiant an extra $150 <em>just </em>to show up to the Rehearsal. I'm not paying my attendants for a service they're providing -  so it's actually very different. I'll invite my officiant but I don't think it's out of line that I would question it.

mysticl

The invite the officiant guideline has kind of changed over the years from what I've seen.  When the officiant is your minister you absolutely should invite them to the RD and reception.  However, now some people are hiring an officiant the same way they do a DJ or photographer.  They look them up online or in the phone book, meet them once before the wedding, and write a check.  They are basically an employee you have hired to perform a specific service at a specific time.  In that case it seems to be less of an expectation to invite them to the RD or reception and I've heard of some that their company prohibits them from accepting said invite.