Am I wrong or is he?

golden1215

Back story: I bought a wrap wedding band that doesnt fit perfectly with my engagement band (bought from different places) so I need a new simple "tiffany" style engagment ring of a specific milimeter to make them fit.

So I bought a new engagment band off ebay (new) from some jeweler in anojther country.  It was supposed to be 2.5mm and white gold.  It arrived and it does not fit my wedding band, which is supposed to hold a 2.5mm ring, and its very obviously yellowish in color, esp next to my very white wedding.  I contacted him back and he disagreed on the mm width, saying it 2.5 "on the dot" and that if I wanted a whiter ring I should have asked them to rhodium plate it.

What???  You have to request a white gold ring to be plated?  I've never heard of such a thing and the ebay listing made no mention of this.  He made some comment about the cost of rhodium being really high so jewelers dont plate white gold unless you request it.

They have a return policy but they will only refund 80% of the purchase price and I have to pay to ship it back internationally... ugh

am I just an idiot?  I figured there was yellow gold- that looked yellow; white gold- that looks white; and rose gold which.... well I dont even really know what rose gold looks like! 

I want to disupte the sale on ebay but not if I'm the one who is misinformed and just didnt realize that "white gold" isnt an across the board thing.

Mrs.B6302007

Uh oh.  You used the r word

pumpkinpumpkin

Though it doesn't bother me personally, you really should use the word "retarded" around here. Seriously.

ohwhynot

Ya know, I really don't like seeing "retarded" used this way.  I do think it's offensive and, as reluctant as I feel about coming in here just to scold, I'm doing it anyway. 

I honestly don't care about your ring or your refund. 

mandysmear

you know, the people at ARC wouldn't be happy about you using that word.

damaless

I don't think the lack of plating is a huge issue... most jewelers I've been to sell new white gold rings with rhodium plating included, but that probably makes the price higher, too.  I think if the 20% you can't get back is more than $50 or so, it's not worth worrying about the rhodium plating because you can just bring it to the jeweler and get it plated for around $50.  The sizing though, definitely seems like an issue.  You could see if a local jeweler could alter it to be the right width, and whether the cost of doing that AND plating it is still less than the amount you would lose by returning the ring.

JessAndTrav

Some random person had a post between Mandy's and Damaless. It was really lame to delete.

spechtholdn

This is why you don't buy jewelry online, from an international jeweler. At a reputable jewelry store you would not have to request white gold to have the rhodium plating in it. If you buy from a jeweler who is not reputable this is usually what happens. BTW I voted be happy you will recover 80% back.

missy68

Yep, bad word choice, and you're going to hear this in most of your responses.  Your purchase off ebay was probably a poor choice as well, especially an international one.

However, white gold is yellow gold mixed with other metals. Over time, it can change colors and can be rhodium plated to make the metal "whiter" or brighter. Obviously yours is either older, or doesn't have a high content of the whiter metals in it to make it so.

golden1215

ok ok I'll edit the r-word.... didnt even cross my mind!

jayjoe

Golden, have you not been on this board before? I dont care what words are used, but a crap load of other people do. I have a bad feeling. Run.

damaless

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:a41e4e93-0987-492e-9504-484d4e0301f9">Re: Am I retarded or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]Some random person had a post between Mandy's and Damaless. It was really lame to delete.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I noticed that too and I wanted to quote to reply because they said something about white gold rings tarnishing.  I didn't see anything delete-worthy in the post, either, so it's kind of weird.  Anyway, I don't think it's that white gold tarnishes.  It's that white gold is naturally a little bit yellow and the reason it starts out looking white is because of the rhodium plating, which fades a bit over time and you have to get it redone to restore the plating and the white look.  This is normal, I was informed of this by my jeweler and still chose to wear a white gold engagement ring and wedding band.  I'm not worried about $50 every year or two.

georgia_bride09

I guess that's what you get when you buy off e-bay from another country.

You could probably just take it to a local jeweler and pay them to rhodium plate it. I just got my wedding band done. It was free, since it was the jeweler who sold it to me, but it looks whiter now.

White gold will yellow over time; I guess your ring had just been sitting somewhere for a while.

FutureMrsDudley55

I think purchasing the ring from ebay internationally was your mistake, along with the use of the word "retarded," in the title. That wasn't necessary.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:59816c0a-133f-411d-808b-df702da956b3">Re: Am I retarded or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]ok ok I'll edit the r-word.... didnt even cross my mind!
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

Just remember it next time.


As a functioning adult, you should remember which words are PI and which ones aren't. Ask Scooby.

georgia_bride09

As for the r-word, golden, didn't you say you were a teacher? If so, you should know better. If not, well, you should still know better.

wadingmoose

you probably should have the ring measured.  I'm guessing that if you require a certain width of ring, you should ensure that the jeweler is measuring the same way the jeweler who designed your ring did.  Or, you know, buy the ring in a store to make sure it fits?

You know, you could've saved that money and fed starving children, right?

golden1215

Update- I know that white gold "yellows" over time, but I wasnt expecting a new ring to be so yellow

and two, the "other country" was Canada....

redheadfsu

White gold is gold mixed with another metal (usually nickel). Rhodium makes the ring the bright white. You have to re-plate every year or two to keep the bright white color. Some jewelers Rhodium plate it for free & some don't.

As to the size it might really be 2.5 & just not fit. Really you need to get this custom done to fit perfectly.

I think you are in the wrong here.

pumpkinpumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:59816c0a-133f-411d-808b-df702da956b3">Re: Am I retarded or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]ok ok I'll edit the r-word.... didnt even cross my mind!
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

How? Do you not think about using it in public in your daily life? I mean, yes, I used it here too a couple months ago, but I knew the repurcussions.

Plus, you're not exactly new to the board...

golden1215

Well, I was trying to save a good 60% off local jeweler prices so I could give it to Feed My Starving Children.

And no, I am not a teacher.

mandysmear

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:59816c0a-133f-411d-808b-df702da956b3">Re: Am I retarded or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]ok ok I'll edit the r-word.... didnt even cross my mind!
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

that's cause you're retarded.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:b8e485ad-a4d5-49bd-a8b9-3459362d9fb4">Re: Am I retarded or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, you could've saved that money and fed starving children, right?
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Moose, FTW.


...And P2, I thought the same thing. I'm hardly here and I recognize her sig.

georgia_bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:65e11854-a337-4722-82b1-2377ef6dc151">Re: Am I wrong or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]Update- I know that yellow white gold "yellows" over time, but I wasnt expecting a new ring to be so yellow and two, the "other country" was Canada....
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

So instead of just saying Canada in your OP, you said "another country"? I'm judging you.

And now you know that white gold also yellows over time. YW.

damaless

She edited the title and apologized for the poor word choice.  What more do people want?  That she didn't use it in the first place?  I don't think that wish is likely to be granted.

Mrs.B6302007

golden, I believe you are officially being flamed.

banana468

Well, aside from the big issue of you using the R word, you probably should have educated yourself more on metals.

Gold itself is yellow.  It's a metal occuring in nature.

White gold is not a natural metal.  It's an alloy of gold - the yellow metal and a whiter metal like nickel.  The two metals will not have the lustre of gold or platinum.  Most white gold you see is actually plated with rhodium.  The rhodium is not white gold -it's just a coating that wears off and has to be replated or "redipped" over time.

Rose gold is an alloy of gold and a pinker metal like copper.

Then there are metals like palladium and platinum.  They both look like rhodium however you can buy jewelry that is solid of these materials.  Platinum is quite strong and palladium has many of the same properties as platinum at a fraction of the cost.

I'd try to solve your issues by going to a local jeweler.

But in the meantime, learn more about precious metals and stop using the r word.

arv266

When you purchased the ring from ebay, did the seller include a photo of the item? 

If so, and if the item that you received is not exactly as pictured by the seller, then you can file a dispute with ebay, for the entire cost plus shipping. 

golden1215

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:e888c526-59a9-48a8-b33e-68e52a3f0ae2">Re: Am I wrong or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I wrong or is he? : So instead of just saying Canada in your OP, you said "another country"? I'm judging you. And now you know that white gold also yellows over time. YW.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

so its okay for everyone to judge the country and say I shouldnt have bought from there if its say.... taiwan.... but if its canada then no?

interesting....

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-retarded?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1a57da4d-5256-479a-b0fe-870be0c814cdPost:e21da077-af9a-40c1-beec-c0fb67c18345">Re: Am I retarded or is he?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is why you don't buy jewelry online, from an international jeweler. At a reputable jewelry store you would not have to request white gold to have the rhodium plating in it. If you buy from a jeweler who is not reputable this is usually what happens. BTW I voted be happy you will recover 80% back.
Posted by spechtholdn[/QUOTE]

This.

banana468

And PPs, stop staying that white gold yellows over time.  That's completely false.

The rhodium plating may wear off leaving you looking at the actual white gold metal under the plating.  The metal doesn't change color at all.  The issue is that the plating will not be permanent.

IMO if you have the money up front, I'd go with platinum or palladium if you want the look of rhodium plated white gold.  After all, if all you want to do is look at something plated in rhodium, why spring for white gold?  Just spend the money on the metal you'll actually see.