Wedding Etiquette Forum

Addressing Invitations

So, I'm sitting here going over the guestlist, and starting addressing the envelopes with the Save the Date. My fiance looks over my shoulder and see that I'm addressing the one to his sister and her husband. I've addressed it as "Mr and Mrs John Smith" because our wedding is going to be very traditional and formal, and that's what I was taught was the proper formal traditional way to address things!

Well, he sees that and tells me that he doesn't think his sister is going to like that very much. ??? Seriously? He says she'll be annoyed that her name isn't on it. But I thought "Mrs John Smith" WAS a version of her name! But he was adamant that she wouldn't like it. So I ask him, what the heck am I supposed to do? He says to use "Jane and John Smith". But that's not formal at all!! He just doesn't get what the problem with that is.

Then he goes on to say that he actually doesn't think any of his friends from college and grad school will like it either. I'm throwing up my hands! Am I just supposed to address all the invitations informallly now? Shouldn't they realize that this is the proper formal way of addressing things to a married couple!?

Re: Addressing Invitations

  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited March 2013
    I've been considering this same issue. I want to address my invitations the same way (e.g. Mr. and Mrs. John Jones). 

    My MOH gave me the same schpeil about some people not liking that form of address. I understand but am still having a hard time changing my mind. I'm meaning to address them in a proper formal way. Even if they don't like it... it's still proper. Yes, I care about my guests (as I am sure you do too) but I really don't want to have to call everyone just to ask them how to address their invitation. 

    Maybe I am wrong or walking the line of breaking etiquette, but I think I will still address them the way I originally wanted or maybe compromise and address to Mr. and Mrs. Jones. I really just want to convey the tone of my event... my invitations are formal so I really feel it's right to use titles (i.e. Mr., Mrs., Miss, etc.) as part of the address.

    IMO, do what you want. Technically it's still proper form of addressing and most people don't really even notice anyway. You'd be surprised how unobservant people can be.

    ETA: for clarity

    Anniversary
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