Wedding Etiquette Forum

The Shower: who to invite?

Hi ladies

My MOH and Mom are planning my shower and have asked me for a guest list. They won't be inviting anyone who isn't invited to the wedding, but should I bother inviting friends who are out of state who I know won't be able to make it?

Is it nicer for them to know they are wanted there, or does that look like fishing for presents?

Also, do I invite FI's aunts/ female cousins that I don't know that well? I'm close with most of his family, but there are a couple Aunts I haven't seen in a while and am not close with. I would like your thoughts.

Thanks!

Re: The Shower: who to invite?

  • I would just invite people who are local, unless some of the out-of-state people are in the wedding party, in which case it is courteous to ask them as well. 

    As far as your FI's extended family, do they live locally?  Do you think any of the FI's family will throw you a shower?  If there is a chance they might be planning something for you as well, I would just stick with a few of your close friends and let that be it.
    09.10 Siggy Challenge
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  • That's what I was thinking. FI's extended family lives about 8 hours away (which is why we're not that close, we never see them!)

    I don't think his family will be throwing me a shower though, which is why I was confused about inviting everyone or not.

    Thanks!
  • Why don't you ask your FMIL about who she thinks should be invited? I know my FI has female family members that will travel to come to my shower, but other's won't. Your FMIL would probably have a good idea on who should be invited and/or who might be hurt if they weren't.
  • I would invite out of state people, just as a courtesy. As for FH's family... if you are inviting your aunts, you should probably invite his. They may not come, but if they do, what a great opportunity to get to know them!
    Amanda and Eric Gettin' married 10/10/10
  • The only OOT people I invited are those that actually might come in for it. They don't live too far and they have family here. But I'd ask your FMIL what she thinks!
    9.17.2010
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  • My sister sent invites to Buddy's family who was out of state, just so that they'd feel included even though we knew they couldn't make it. My long distance friends were not invited, and the wives/girlfriends of couples where I was closer with the dude were not invited, either (like college friends who have since gotten married, etc.)
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