Wedding Etiquette Forum

Friday weddings

My fiance and I got engaged before Thanksgiving, and we've been going crazy trying to find a venue.  I decided recently that I want to get married in my hometown and of course availability is a problem at this point - we're looking at late summer/early fall 2011.  For the venue we really like (and feel is our only option at this point) the only Saturday available is November 5th, and we're worried about the weather since it will be cold, and there's a definite chance of snow!

Last night we got to talking about a potential Friday wedding.  For those people close by, it shouldn't be tough at all.  However, for those people travelling from out of town (and those in our wedding party) it might require a half day, full day, or day and a half vacation day from work.  Is this rude?  I know Friday weddings have become more popular.  A few of my friends have said it's fine as long as people have enough notice!!

I hate the thought of inconveniencing people, however, I don't know what else to do!  Thoughts?

Re: Friday weddings

  • I had a Friday wedding this past year (Nov. 5, actually!), and we were worried about that too.  We invited about 145 people, we got about 110 who came. 

    You do need to be prepared for people declining because of travel.  But a wedding isn't a summons.  If people can't make it, they'll send their regrets.  The majority of our family and friends DID come, and we had a great time.

    Word of advice: Have the wedding after 6 PM.  As long as it's an evening wedding and reception, you're running less of a risk of people needing to decline because of work or travel issues.  Good luck.

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  • I agree with having a later evening wedding if you are doing it on Friday.  I personally would be fine with taking one day off for a friend's wedding.  But I agree that you may have some declines because of it being a Friday. 
  • It's fine. Late fall/winter weddings are fine, too, but like you said the chances of weather-related travel mishaps are greater. There's a possibility your FI's uncle's stepdaughter's girlfriend can't get off from work or won't want to, but you'll rarely have 100% attendance anyway, even with a Saturday wedding. Plus, the venue might have a discount for Friday. I had a Sunday wedding and our venue had a dollar minimum for Saturday weddings, but not Sunday, so we saved about $2500 by not having to meet a minimum.

    FWIW, my husband and I flew from LA to Chicago and drove 4.5 hours to go to his cousin's wedding last year, which was on a Friday night. We were exhausted after that red-eye, but it was doable!
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  • Friday weddings are fine. Please just plan it to start at a time that doesn't force your guests to fight rush hour traffic to get to your wedding and/or take off work, so like 6pm or later.

    On that note, our Friday wedding was at 11:30am, and it was fine. People had to take off work, but most of them had to travel and would have had to take off anyway. People for whom it's important to be there will find a way. But like I said, don't make them fight traffic. Traffic sucks.
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  • We are having a Friday wedding in August 2011. FMIL didn't like it, but no one else has complained. It worked better for us price- and venue-wise. We plan to send our save the dates in a few months so people will have time to schedule accordingly.

    We figured that people who really want to be there will make it work.
  • I think its fine. Friday weddings are becoming more popular and they are usually cheaper. STD's might be in order once you decide on a date so guests can make appropriate arrangements well ahead of time. But like pp's have said, if they want to be there, they will make the necessary arrangements to do so as long as they have enough notice.
  • Like everyone else said, you'll have people who can't make it because they can't get off work or have other obligations, but you'll have that any day of the week.  Check with the most important people first, like you should with any date, to make sure it will work for them - you'd hate to book it only to learn your little sister won't be able to make it, kwim?

    Have you looked at Sundays at all?  Usually you get the same or similar discount on Sunday that you would on Friday, but it might be easier for your WP and guests if it's a Sunday event.
  • Thank you everyone for your feedback.  It is TRULY appreciated!!
  • I think Friday weddings to be fine.

    I only ask that you be flexible.  Some people may only be able to make it to the reception and not the ceremony due to work.  It's not that they do not love you, it's because they truly could not get off in time for the ceremony, but still want to celebrate with you.

    Have fun.

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  • I had a Friday wedding (July 30, 2010).  We had the wedding start at 7 so people could get off work and still make it to the wedding.  Most people had to drive 1.5 hours to get to the wedding, and most of them made it to the ceremony.  The ones that didn't just showed up for the reception.  They all couldn't have taken off work because they were his co-workers and you can't shut down a law firm for a wedding.  As people said as long as you send out Save the Dates early enough you should be fine. 
  • I also suggest a later start time.  I went to a Friday wedding last fall for FI's cousin and it started at 4 I believe, and I couldn't get out of work in time to go home, shower, change, etc., and make the drive to the ceremony on time, so we could only go to the cocktail hour and the reception (and we did still leave work a couple hours early).  We both felt really bad that we couldn't be there for them, but FI had only been at his new job for a couple weeks so he couldn't skip out very early anyway.
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  • I'm having a Friday wedding and we are thinking about possibly having some h'ordeuvres available and then starting the ceremony at either 6 or 6:30.
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