Just one more jab...

Winterstarlips25

 I mailed my cousin an invitation to his mother's house; didn't know his address. I mailed a separate invitation to my aunt and her new husband. My aunt's response card came a day before my cousin's. They said, "They would be attending my wedding." The next morning my Fiance brings in the mail; I knew it would be coming since she said a few days ago that she had mailed them. I open the response card envelope and see that my aunt took it upon herself to "fill it out" and she wrote Mr. Last name and GUEST would be attending my wedding. I was very annoyed/upset/frustrated. My cousin and I are that close he is about 8 years older than me and he never came to my first wedding. I expected the same for this wedding. The last thing I knew about my cousin and his GUEST was that they had broke up because he was being un-faithful. Anyway, I was under the impression that he was unattached, or I would have addressed it Mr & GUEST. I really like the guest I assume he is bringing. In Fact, her mother is doing our Floral arrangements. It just pisses me off that my aunt is using me for her Immediate family luncheon. She had suckered me into giving her daughter (my other cousin) a plus one for her live-in boyfriend that my aunt hasn't even met yet. Her other son is married with children, so I addressed it accordingly.

 Am I in the right, for feeling like this?  

Loopyseven

If her daughter has a live in boyfriend, he should have been invited with your cousin in the first place.  I'd get ahold of your other cousin (FB?  get his number from aunt?) to find out the name of his GUEST.  If you want to let it slide, you can just tell him you need the name for the escort card.  if not, you are well within your rights to apologize for the mix-up but you can't accommodate his guest that he RSVP'd with.  

Kristin789

About your male cousin:

1.  Should have found OUT about his situation.  You say here that you "were under the impression that he was single."  Should have found out, so that you could get the names right on the envelopes.

2.  Should have found OUT his address.  Don't sent an invitation to somebody else FOR him.  Because exactly what happened here will happen again and again:  That SOMEBODY ELSE will fill out the response card and send it in FOR him.

So you can't really be annoyed/angry/frustrated at THEM about this.

About your female cousin:

1.  Should have found OUT about her situation.  Then you would have known to address the invitation to her and her live-in significant other.  Because you just can't invite her without him.

2.  Your aunt didn't "sucker you" into inviting the daughter AND her sig other.  Your aunt advised you, correctly, that you have to invite HIM with her.  You can't be mad at HER for HELPING you avoid an etiquette blunder here.

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-one-more-jab?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b1c3077-b916-46f2-bcef-fff22f922b10Post:804c0464-168a-405d-9e41-42a361a5cee5">Re: Just one more jab...</a>:
[QUOTE]Omg.  I agree with Kristen.  :::cries in a corner:::
Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

<div>That's how I felt the first time I agreed with her too.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, you're in the wrong on this one, sorry.  Assuming that the "GUEST" you mention is actually the girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband on whom your cousin cheated (I assume your cousin is the "he" who was unfaithful), he/she should have been invited in the first place.  Girl cousin's boyfriend should have been invited also, regardless of dwelling status.</div><div>
</div><div>Now, if either of them were in a situation where they'd have to decide "who should I take to OP's wedding?" then THAT is an "AND GUEST" and you do not have to accomodate that.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA - why in the world are your invites out already?  You're not getting married for over 3 months!</div>

lcatterton

ETA - why in the world are your invites out already?  You're not getting married for over 3 months!

THIS^^^^!!!!!

Winterstarlips25

My aunt suggested that I send them out because people will probably have to take off work and put in a notice. Also, the Caterer needs a rough head count at the 2 month mark.