To Gap or Not to Gap...

RPLwedding

People seem to have strong feelings about gaps between the ceremony and the reception. Here's my question: if there isn't a gap when do we do pictures? Looks like we're going to pay a zillion dollars for the photographer, I want to have some great pics in great locations. Any ideas?

getaclue44

Our mass starts at 2 and cocktail hour at 3:30. We are doing our pics during cocktail hour.

hoffse

Usually gaps occur for catholic weddings because the church won't permit a ceremony too close to Saturday evening mass and the reception venue won't open early.  It has nothing to do with pictures.  Do pics beforehand.

Loopyseven

We did many of our pictures before hand (any that did not involve H and I together), and then we did the family pics and all the ones with H and I together during cocktail hour.  We had a cocktail "houra and 20 minute" and that was plenty of time for photos since the venue we got married at had a variety of spots that were great for pictures with different looks.

banana468

Do pics beforehand and during cocktail hour.

To extend the length of time between the ceremony and reception because you want a long photo shoot is really rude.

You'll get PLENTY of good shots pre wedding and during the cocktail hour.  FWIW, my favorites aren't the posed ones.

lauralaur

I think most people do pictures during the cocktail hour. We did photos individually before the ceremony and then pictures together during the cocktail hour. An alternative would be to do a "first look" and get all of your pictures, or at least most, done before the ceremony.

Miss Esa

Before the ceremony and during the cocktail hour are the best times for pictures.

Calypso1977

we did all of our pics before (and we had a morning wedding).

i honestly have never understood why brides who get married at night dont do their pics before - you have all day long to do them!  not only could you get some great shots in several locations, but then you can enjoy your cocktail hour with your guests (that you paid for!).

NOLAbridealmost

I completely agree with everyone else, but especially Stage. 

Gaps are always a choice.  If you choose to do pics between the ceremony and reception, host a cocktail hour to avoid a gap.  Keep the cocktail hour to just an hour-1.5 hours tops. 

Summer2011Bride

Like the PPs, we did all the separate photos before the ceremony and then full group pics and pics of H and me during the cocktail hour. But keep it just to an hour. As long as you provide some beverages and food for your guests, it's fine to go off and do pics while they're enjoying the cocktail hour.

bridalmarch

We have the exact same schedule as a PP - ceremony at 2:00, cocktail hour at 3:30. 

We are doing a first look at noon and then doing as many formal shots as we can. If there are still shots left to do, we'll do them after the ceremony while our guests are at cocktail hour. Our photographer already gave us a list of formal shots to choose from so that she knows what we want ad who we need and there's no looking for grandpa when he left 20 minutes ago. 

ootmother2

We hosted wine, cheese, fruits, etc at one of the villas at the CC where the reception was held while the BP went to the beach for photos then

Bride & groom went to their own cocktail hour, well 90 minutes.  You could say that we do come from a family  that likes to party.  Just a bit

Weddings are pretty much a weekend long party in our family. Starts out Thursday night, ends with the brunch after on Sunday.

DMoore421

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-gap-or-not-to-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba92808-d522-417d-8c97-160bcf79dbbcPost:d5dac43b-ae74-4a25-8cd2-9fe348349288">To Gap or Not to Gap...</a>:
[QUOTE]People seem to have strong feelings about gaps between the ceremony and the reception. Here's my question: if there isn't a gap when do we do pictures? Looks like we're going to pay a zillion dollars for the photographer, I want to have some great pics in great locations. Any ideas?
Posted by RPLwedding[/QUOTE]

usually people have a coctail hour in there - my ceremony is only going to be ablout a half hour - we are not having a photographer - but i am still building in a little time between when the ceremony should be over and when coctail hour should start - (ceremony / cocktail hour / reception are all in the same hotel )

my Ceremony should start at 3:30PM
- planning for it to be over by 4 .. may run a little over
even though we are not having a photographer - i still want a few minutes with just my hubby - so we will probably show up at the cocktail at some point...
starting cocktail hour are 4:30
reception starts at 530

most people expect some break between ceremony and reception - it just cant be hours on end

willywally5

Due to 3 PM being the latest time our church allowed for the ceremony for DD's wedding, we actually had cocktail 'hours' from 4 to 6 PM. That seemed a bit long, but we had tons of appetizers/drinks and the bride/groom and WP arrived at about 5:20. Dinner was served at 6. Nobody complained about it AT ALL. (We actually didn't get there until about 4:20 because it took a long time for the church to clear out.)

They did a first look about 11:30, followed by gobs of photos with WP and family. The plan was to do a few more in another location between ceremony and reception BUT there was a snag with the hairdresser. (She changed her 'do for reception.) But, had their not been that snag, they would have had plenty of time for more photos.

Gaps are OK if you FILL THE GAP with hosting your guests. Then it's not really a gap. 

If you have a gap around here, besides being rude, you run the risk of losing your crowd. They will go home or to their hotels (or if they feel the need to eat, somewhere for a bite) and then decide they are comfy and in for the night. Or, they may decide to take a break, ditch dinner (for which you've already paid) and show up later for the dance. It's good to keep everyone moving from one event to the next. 

RPLwedding

Let me clarify: by gap I pretty much mean extended cocktail hour. We will have food and an open bar at the reception venue. We live near the beach so we wanted to get pictures done there, which could be time consuming with a big dress and an entourage. Not only would we need to take pictures of the bride and groom, but the wedding party as well. How do you do all of this in an hour???

lyndausvi

you do as many pictures as you can before the ceremony.

willywally5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-gap-or-not-to-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba92808-d522-417d-8c97-160bcf79dbbcPost:fcf77b22-f4c5-475f-91d3-6b839546a09e">Re: To Gap or Not to Gap...</a>:
[QUOTE]you do as many pictures as you can before the ceremony.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Exactly. Dong a few between the ceremony and reception is fine, but don't keep your guests waiting forever. The cocktail hour can go on without you being there but you only need so many photos. In the meantime, keep your guests happy.</div><div>
</div><div>If tons of photos are important to you, I'd STRONGLY encourage doing a first look and many (actually MOST) of the photos BEFORE the ceremony. </div><div>
</div>

DramaGeek

We did all of our photos before the ceremony.  We didn't see any reason to avoid seeing each other on our wedding day of all days!

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-gap-or-not-to-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba92808-d522-417d-8c97-160bcf79dbbcPost:bbfe4ec6-0be2-473a-9423-2977dfd5dca2">Re: To Gap or Not to Gap...</a>:
[QUOTE]Let me clarify: by gap I pretty much mean extended cocktail hour. We will have food and an open bar at the reception venue. We live near the beach so we wanted to get pictures done there, which could be time consuming with a big dress and an entourage. Not only would we need to take pictures of the bride and groom, but the wedding party as well. How do you do all of this in an hour???
Posted by RPLwedding[/QUOTE]

You do as many as possible before the ceremony.  This really isn't rocket science.  You don't leave your guests for more than an hour.  Make it work.  We all did.

EDIT: This also doesn't mean you have to do a first look, either.  Do bridesmaids + bride, groomsmen + groom, parents + bride, parents + groom, etc... before the ceremony.  Then do all the together pics after.

Summer2011Bride

I agree with doing as many as possible beforehand. After the ceremony, we did pics with our WP right away and then they went on to the cocktail hour. Then the photographer did pics with just H and me for about 30-40 min. and we were done just as cocktail hour was wrapping up. We had done as many photos as possible before the ceremony (and did not do a first look). Talk to your photographer--it can be done.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-gap-or-not-to-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba92808-d522-417d-8c97-160bcf79dbbcPost:bbfe4ec6-0be2-473a-9423-2977dfd5dca2">Re: To Gap or Not to Gap...</a>:
[QUOTE]Let me clarify: by gap I pretty much mean extended cocktail hour. We will have food and an open bar at the reception venue. We live near the beach so we wanted to get pictures done there, which could be time consuming with a big dress and an entourage. Not only would we need to take pictures of the bride and groom, but the wedding party as well. How do you do all of this in an hour???
Posted by RPLwedding[/QUOTE]

The majority of our pictures were taken after the ceremony.  Our photographer did a few pics of just me and my family prior to the ceremony (maybe like 15 minutes worth) but the rest were done after.  We got pictures of our families, bridal party and just me and my H in an hour. 

If you have a good photographer who knows what he/she is doing you can get a crap load of pictures done in one hour.

Jen4948

If there's no gap, then I'd take whatever pictures can be taken that don't involve the couple together before the ceremony, and then any together during the cocktail hour.  Whatever you decide, make sure that your guests are receiving proper hospitality-that they are not being required to just stand around with no refreshments. 

Unfortunately, at my brother's wedding, there was no gap planned for, but the venue was not quite completely set up after the wedding while photos were taken between the ceremony and reception.  The guests had to stand in a tight space with no refreshments for several minutes and it must have been really annoying for them.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-gap-or-not-to-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba92808-d522-417d-8c97-160bcf79dbbcPost:7c3b044c-c007-4291-a2d1-e78049678a46">Re: To Gap or Not to Gap...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To Gap or Not to Gap... : This was how we did it too, but OP specifically mentions wanting photos in multiple locations, which is why I mentioned a first look.  An hour isn't really enough time to load people up and bus them all over town for photos.  Now, if she's just wanting beach photos there at her venue, then this could work just fine.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Ah, I missed the multiple locations part.

My first look comment wasn't actually in reponse to anyone in this thread.  I just thought of it as a possible "Oh, we can't do pictures first!  We don't want to do a first look!" excuse.  :-)

RPLwedding

Thanks for the great responses. We can do most before the ceremony, but the man isn't sure he wants to do a first look. Still working on him. Here's the thing: we will obviously take care of our guests, but photos are one of the most important things to us. It is one of the few tangible things we will take away from our wedding day. Doing most of them before the ceremony is definitely an option. Thanks for the suggestions. I realize this isn't rocket science, but since I've never been married, I don't know what really happens behind the scenes of a wedding and how things are "supposed" to go. Isn't that what these forums are for in the first place?

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-gap-or-not-to-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba92808-d522-417d-8c97-160bcf79dbbcPost:e63569cd-eda7-4378-b13d-47f0c4d46bef">Re: To Gap or Not to Gap...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the great responses. We can do most before the ceremony, but the man isn't sure he wants to do a first look. Still working on him. Here's the thing: we will obviously take care of our guests, but photos are one of the most important things to us. It is one of the few tangible things we will take away from our wedding day. Doing most of them before the ceremony is definitely an option. Thanks for the suggestions. I realize this isn't rocket science, but since I've never been married, I don't know what really happens behind the scenes of a wedding and how things are "supposed" to go. Isn't that what these forums are for in the first place?
Posted by RPLwedding[/QUOTE]

Have you considered doing some pictures after the reception or maybe another day? I know it's not the same as doing it the day of, but if you're hellbent on going to multiple locations, then maybe you and the man can get your wedding clothes back on, grab the photographer and cruise around shots takling pictures where ever.
Again, I know it's not the same as doing it the day of, but a few brides here did Trash the Dress pics and really enjoyed it.