Getting the parents in gear.

BizWiz4

I'll preface this with the fact that we are very recently engaged- but I'm a little overwhelmed and would like to get 'major' things booked quickly.

Any advice on how to get parents to understand that while I have a few months before the wedding, that does not necessarily mean that we have months to prolong planning?  In my area, several vendors I liked were already booked for my date (and I'd rather not change as the date has special meaning).  I'm awaiting my parent's invitation list, but there is no sense of hussle in their bussle! I am tired of asking several times, and don't want to bug anyone. but I really need the guest list before I can plan anymore!

As of now, they haven't offered to pay for anything, so we are budgeting for what we can afford, so it's frustrating to be waiting!

HockeyFan4

We did our own guestlist and then showed our parents and asked if they wanted to add anyone.  That might help you.

jessicabessica

Did you give them an upper limit for how many people to invite?  If you are budgeting for x number of people on their list, I don't understand why you need to wait for them to go ahead with your planning.  

If you're trying to get them to help you look at vendors, maybe they just are not that into it.  I would go ahead without them, but you can let them know when you have appointments (dress shopping, tastings, etc.) if you would like them to attend with you.

MyNameIsNot

I would go ahead and make the family list myself.  Then send it to them with a deadline and number of additions that they are allowed to make.  If they don't respond, go with your initial list.

As long as you know how many guests you are going to give them, you can go ahead with lining up vendors now.

HandBanana

We went to them.  I planned a night that we went over, we had dinner, cracked open a bottle of wine, and we did their guestlist.  Tell them to be prepped with their address book too and you can start a little Excel doc on a laptop at the kitchen table.

For us this worked out well and it was a fun night.  For some couples the guestlist can be stressful and tricky so you may only want to send him to handle his parents and you handle your parents.

BizWiz4

Our reception site will hold up to 500. I had in mind closer to 300, but being that it's being held close to my parents home (my hometown) I assume they have friends they would like to invite. So we can accommodate (both in budget and venue) more guests, but would need to scale back on other areas. I have taken Care of family lists and emailed that over, but am struggling with the rest as I try to plan from a distance!

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_getting-the-parents-in-gear?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1be0c380-63e8-4af9-b18b-e6759b22d865Post:c3267226-2f65-4799-87a3-9e21c7e62138">Re: Getting the parents in gear.</a>:
[QUOTE]Our reception site will hold up to 500. I had in mind closer to 300, but being that it's being held close to my parents home (my hometown) I assume they have friends they would like to invite. So we can accommodate (both in budget and venue) more guests, but would need to scale back on other areas.<strong> I have taken Care of family lists and emailed that over, but am struggling with the rest as I try to plan from a distance!
</strong>Posted by BizWiz4[/QUOTE]

Then just set a final deadline and if they don't hit it, move on without a second thought.