Bridal shower gift etiquette

Mvr2614

Hello,
I'm hoping that my guests at my bridal shower will help contribute to a honeymoon fund. I am registered elsewhere. What is the proper etiquette for requesting the monetary gift on an invitation without sounding rude? Or is it just dude to do so? Should I include the registry (there is not a ton on there as at this point I am pretty well set up).
Any ideas are welcome! Thanks!

amberleigh325

May I ask if you are throwing your own shower? Because you wording makes it sounds that way.

Knottie_22386269

1. Don't throw your own shower 2. Don't put any requests for gifts monetary or otherwise on invitations. It's rude. 3. Spread via word of mouth. 4. Do small registry. 5. If you just want cash it defeats the purpose of a shower, since the point is to "shower" the bride with gifts.

Mvr2614

The party is being hosted by my tobe MIL. She had the suggestion to ask for honeymoon donations. I've seen "the couple is hoping for Home Depot cards" and "the couple is registered at..." so I did not know if this could fall under those categories.

Knottie_22386269

Putting "The couple is registered at . . ." is fine. Putting anything else is against etiquette. Because, since its a shower, gifts are the whole point. Putting anything directly referencing gifts is not okay. If someone plans on getting you a gift, they can go to the registry. But if they can't or won't get you something, it's not saying "Hey! You better bring me a gift!"

Knottie_22386269

From what I understood of her OP, she isn't doing a honeymoon registry. I think what she's saying is that she hopes that people will just bring money so she can put it toward the honeymoon.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:749746cb-40cd-47a8-ac60-2df492ea2efa">Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello, I'm hoping that my guests at my bridal shower will help contribute to a honeymoon fund. I am registered elsewhere. What is the proper etiquette for requesting the monetary gift on an invitation without sounding rude? Or is it just dude to do so? Should I include the registry (there is not a ton on there as at this point I am pretty well set up). Any ideas are welcome! Thanks!
Posted by Mvr2614[/QUOTE]
Bridal showers are for physical gifts.  You should not be asking for cash.

STARMOON44

Another solution if you're pretty well set up is to have a theme shower. Ask everyone to bring their favorite cookbook/most useful item from their first year of marriage/ favorite cooking tool/best recipe etc. But your theme can't be "bring me cash" :

Summer2011Bride

You shouldn't ask for cash at a shower (well, you should never ask for cash), because showers are for physical gifts. It is fine to put where you're registered on a shower invitation, but not a wedding invitation. Just don't set up a HM registry or put anything about cash gifts on the shower invitations.

AddieCake

The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with actual gifts, not to throw money at her. 

misssunshine17

In Response to Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette:
[QUOTE]The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with actual gifts, not to throw money at her. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

This. Asking for money is very tacky. If I got an invite that said that, I'd probably decline.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:749746cb-40cd-47a8-ac60-2df492ea2efa">Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello, I'm hoping that my guests at my bridal shower will help contribute to a honeymoon fund. I am registered elsewhere. What is the proper etiquette for requesting the monetary gift on an invitation without sounding rude? <strong>Or is it just [r]ude to do so?</strong> Should I include the registry (there is not a ton on there as at this point I am pretty well set up). Any ideas are welcome! Thanks!
Posted by Mvr2614[/QUOTE]

yup.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:24846c7e-0e56-4d54-ae58-af7b0a5dab2f">Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with actual gifts, not to throw money at her. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>Unless her theme is stripper.  In which case, I think it's appropriate to make it rain.</div>

AmandaKess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:24846c7e-0e56-4d54-ae58-af7b0a5dab2f">Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with actual gifts, not to throw money at her. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

 I think it's just in bad taste to ask for cash period.

brielleinlove

There isn't any polite way to ask people to give you cash.  I'd either decline FMIL's idea for the honeymoon registry or (if she presses the issue) decline FMIL's shower altogether.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:19a94d85-b49c-4813-a497-b6f18ada3688">Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette : Unless her theme is stripper.  In which case, I think it's appropriate to make it rain.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
 And that would certainly be a hell of a lot more fun than any shower I've been to!

Amyzen83

Unless her theme is stripper.  In which case, I think it's appropriate to make it rain. That sounds like fun!!! I should suggest that to whoever's throwing my shower :P

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:19a94d85-b49c-4813-a497-b6f18ada3688">Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette : Unless her theme is stripper.  In which case, I think it's appropriate to make it rain.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

Hahaha, I thought the same exact thing when I read Addie's comment!

Amyzen83

Love your Ironman icon btw!

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-gift-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c04c46b-04f6-44d4-abdc-be98fe4d9abaPost:d261b361-3e7f-4124-81e0-f5ff057671f7">Re: Bridal shower gift etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Love your Ironman icon btw!
Posted by Amyzen83[/QUOTE]

Thank you!

alison cunningham

I agree with everyone else and have my own Bridal Shower question to ask.

Don't ask for money or for specific gifts. My MOH didn't put on the invites where we are registered at, but that information has been spread by word of mouth and on our website. The guests will get you what they feel is appropriate.

Now for my question, and this may not be the right place to ask it but here it goes. My bridal shower is this coming Saturday, and I am assuming I will be getting a few gifts, so when it comes time to do the thank you cards, do I just sign my name or my fiance's name also? Pretty sure just mine, but want some reassurance on this.