Wedding Etiquette Forum

Do I send an invite?

Hello, I sent out my save-the-dates in September for my wedding coming up this May.  Now, I am getting ready to send out invites and am having a problem deciding what to do.  We sent a save the date card to a family that has two daughters who were friends with my sister (who is one of my bridesmaids) and the father is a friend of my dad's.  Recently, my sister had a falling out with her friends and the mom got involved and said some very cruel things to my sister. Because of this, my dad and his friend (the father of these girls) have not spent a lot of time together lately. Now, my sister does not want them invited to the wedding, but I don't know what to do because we sent them a save the date.  Obviously, I would like to invite my dad's friend, but I do not want to have the rest of the family there because I want my wedding to be drama free, which I'm afraid it would not be if the girls were invited.  Since I sent them the save the date is it obvious that I should send them an invite? I don't know if they're expecting one, or if they will even come to the wedding, but I don't want to be rude.  Would everyone still send them an invite even though we don't keep in touch with them and they despise my sister and vice versa?
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Re: Do I send an invite?

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    Yes, because you sent them an STD, you need to send them an invite. Who knows, they might not even come at this point.
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    Yes, you need to send the invite because and STD is a pre-invite.  Leave it up to the guests to decide if they want to attend.
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    you sent a STD so you have to send in Invite. Mostly likely, if things are THAT bad, they'll decline. Otherwise, if they do show up, hopefully they'll and all others will be mature about everything.
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    The only reason you wouldn't follow up an STD with an invite is if it's your intention to salt the earth so that nothing will ever grow again when it comes to the friendship. So if you really despise this entire family and never want to see any of them ever again, then I would think it would be okay to skip the invite. If you hope for reconciliation or continued friendship with any of them, even the dad, then you have to invite the whole family. You can't split up the family at this point, because that will just have the same result as not inviting any of them.
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    Ditto Sarah.
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    This is why STDs are sometimes frowned upon. And STD = invite. They'll likely decline anyway if things are as bad as you describe.
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    Since the father and your father still have some kind of relationship, I'd sent it to them.
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    I think the only drama that will ensue will be the drama you bring by not inviting them.  Anything could happen between now and then with your sister her friend and the drama.   Invite them.  Let them decline if they don't want to be there.

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