I posted a while back about shower drama. Slightly long cliffs: Fmil wanted to throw me a surprise shower, called my mom to tell her. My mom said that "that was really nice, but my cousin/maid of honor wanted to be involved, and throw it with us moms, so can we all work together?"
His mom basically said she had the whole thing taken care of date and all, didn't want to involve them, and then called my cousin and hinted she didn't think my cousin could afford it. My mom was furious about that, called Fmil and said, look lets all meet, talk, and plan this together. The night before the meeting Fmil backed out, said, I thought about it and since I have a daughter, I'll just do hers someday.
Cut to now. My maid of honor and mom have been planning the shower, along with 2 bridesmaids, one of whom is from Fi's side of the family, and therefore somewhat close to Fmil. I'd been hoping she'd play devils advocate for both sides of the family. She also told me in confidence that my Fmil backed out not because of having a daughter, but because if she couldn't plan and host the whole thing herself, she didn't want to be a part of it - she was insulted they "refused her money" even though didn't directly, they just wanted to be a part of it with her.
My mom calls me this morning mad, but won't tell me why (another story entirely). My dad caved and told me planning hasn't been going well at all. The bridesmaid that's friends with Fmil has been trying to get them all to list Fmil on the invite even though she hasn't contributed at all and had told them she didn't want anything to do with it. Then they asked Fmil for her address list of invites. She stalled for weeks and now says she wants them to give her a bunch of invites so she can do her side herself.
So now, my maid of honor and mom are mad at Fmil for causing problems and have a ton of conspiracy theories on why she wants to do the invites for her side ("is she going to write to her side that she's the only one hosting it?" etc), and the bridesmaid that's semi close to Fmil keeps telling them "they just don't know Fmil, and to chill and have a drink" which they are also not reacting well to
My problem is that everyone is still insisting that this is all supposed to be a surprise and I'm not supposed to know anything about any of this - yet they all keep caving and telling me these issues in roundabout ways. I'm also dreading it at this point because with the way they're all acting, I feel like it'll end in disaster and somehow cause even more fighting between the families.
Any thoughts? (Other then this was really long -sorry!- and that my family is crazy?)