Adult Reception

kell77

So I know it's not appropriate to put "no children" on the invitaion but on the reception card can I word it as follows:
The adult reception will be at....

Here's my next dilemma- I have a complictaed situation on one side of my family. I have one set of cousins that consist of a 25, 23, 19, and 11 year old. I feel I have to invite all of them but the 25yr old and 23 yr old have kids that I don't want to attend. However because they had childrern so young, their kids are almost the same age as their own brother. Do I have to invite their children, who are my second cousins, if I invite my 11 yr old first cousin? I hope that all made sense.

I know that as long as I address the inner and outer envelopes to the adults that they shoiuld get the hint, but what if they don't or if they think they're excempt because they are family?

Thanks in advance!

danieliza1127

You don't have to invite your cousin's kids if you don't want to; however if there will be other kids there, they will probably wonder why theirs weren't included.  You could just make a line in sand at not inviting anyone past first cousins, adult or not.

Address the invitation to the adults only.  If they RSVP with their kids, it will be your responsibility to contact them and politely explain that it's adults only and the invitation was for them only. 

What's your kid age cutoff because your 11 year old cousin is a kid.

september's bride

Address the invites to the people you want there. If they try to add extra people on, simply explain that you can't accommodate anyone else because you're at capacity.

EDIT: You have to draw a line somewhere. I know how hard it is when you feel you have to invite people, but truly, people will understand that you can't invite the world, as much as you might like to. It will be fine.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adult-reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c5474ab-f593-4751-8f3a-c0a99e23513aPost:43306a44-4200-401f-874b-99b66c83686d">Adult Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]So I know it's not appropriate to but "no children" on the invitaion but on the reception card can I word it as follows: The adult reception will be at....
<strong>How do you see that as any different?  I'm really interested to know.</strong>

 Here's my next dilemma- I have a complictaed situation on one side of my family. I have one set of cousins that consist of a 25, 23, 19, and 11 year old. I feel I have to invite all of them but the 25yr old and 23 yr old have kids that I don't want to attend. However becuase they had childrern so young, their kids are almost the same age as their own brother. Do I have to invite their children, who are my second cousins, if I invite my 11 yr old first cousin?
<strong>You can invite who you want.  If you chose not to invite your cousins children, and they are rude enough to ask why, I would explain that you invited based on familial lines, and could only invite out to first cousins.</strong>

I hope that all made sense. I know that as long as I address the inner and outer envelopes to the adults that they shoiuld get the hint, but what if they don't or if they think they're excempt because they are family?
<strong>If they RSVP for someone that you haven't invited you call and politely explain who was invited and that you can't accommodate extra guests.</strong>

 Thanks in advance!
Posted by kell77[/QUOTE]

angiebear11

I would leave off the "The adult reception will be at...."

And I find it weird that you don't want to invite children, but you still want to invite your 11 year old cousin. What would his parents think if they got an invitation that said "adult reception". Don't you think they'd assume their 11 year old isn't invited.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adult-reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c5474ab-f593-4751-8f3a-c0a99e23513aPost:27cb9055-835d-4918-86f2-de96320f9e79">Re: Adult Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I would leave off the "The adult reception will be at...."<strong> And I find it weird that you don't want to invite children</strong>, but you still want to invite your 11 year old cousin. What would his parents think if they got an invitation that said "adult reception". Don't you think they'd assume their 11 year old isn't invited.
Posted by angiebear11[/QUOTE]
Why?<div>
</div><div>To the OP:  Just make sure you address the invites properly and get on the phone if people add their children to the RSVP.  I personally don't feel as if you have to really explain yourself to them as to why your cousin is invited.  The only children coming will be my nieces.  FI has some teens that he's inviting.  </div><div>
</div><div>Rather than true age limits, we are inviting certain parts of the family.  All immediate relatives, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, second cousins who are teens and adults.</div>