Etiquette When Not Inviting Children to Wedding

mlopez77023

How should we go about explaining to our guest that no children are allowed at our wedding? Several of our friends and family have little ones and unfortunately we can not accomodate any children. I've seen in the past where people have included in their invitations "no children allowed" but we dont want to offend anyone. Suggestions please!!

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-not-inviting-children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1cd553ce-0f0e-475b-9fce-5a80c39460d2Post:f2f0ebe7-d005-45d8-aa7e-2de862190e08">Etiquette When Not Inviting Children to Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]How should we go about explaining to our guest that no children are allowed at our wedding? Several of our friends and family have little ones and unfortunately we can not accomodate any children. I've seen in the past where people have included in their invitations "no children allowed" but we dont want to offend anyone. Suggestions please!!
Posted by mlopez77023[/QUOTE]
Address the invitation to ONLY those invited. Instead of The Smith Family, put Jane and John Smith, if you want to invite only Jane and John, and not Jane, John, and their kids.

Not inviting kids will be a deal breaker for some of your guests. Be prepared for that.

emilyinchile

You address the invitations to the people who are invited. If people RSVP for extra, uninvited people, you explain on a case-by-case basis that you can't accommodate those other people.

That applies to adults and children alike.

[Deleted User]

Address your invites only to the people you are inviting. Don't use any "and Family" on the invites. Use the people's names .

For example: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

instead of

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family OR

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Susie Smith
Josh Smith
                                                             

hlq2011

As PPs said.  Be prepared for push-back, and for people to not comprehend the invites, and for some people to not come because their kids aren't invited.  You don't ever say anything about who ISN'T invited, unless someone asks.

zitiqueen

Idiot-proof your RSVP cards as much as possible. It's not foolproof, but it helps.

We have reserved ___ seats in your honor.

Jane Doe ___will ___ will not attend.
John Doe ___ will ___ will not attend.

mlopez77023

Thank you Ladies!! I should have also included in my post how to go about telling people “the adults” to please not also invite extra guest. Some family weddings I’ve attended people are notorious for inviting their “friends, neighbors, cousins, etc” and we simply can’t afford that to happen to us. So thanks for including the “adult” factor into your reply “emilyinchili”. I’m a proud Mexican woman but sometimes we tend to share such a joyous/fun occasion with the entire familia and friends without consulting with the bride/groom first before extending the invite.  

mlopez77023

I like that suggestion Zitiqueen!! Thanks!

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-not-inviting-children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1cd553ce-0f0e-475b-9fce-5a80c39460d2Post:376e9f80-1379-49ff-85cc-2ec3886736f9">Re: Etiquette When Not Inviting Children to Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Idiot-proof your RSVP cards as much as possible. It's not foolproof, but it helps. We have reserved ___ seats in your honor. Jane Doe ___will ___ will not attend. John Doe ___ will ___ will not attend.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

This. We did this and had no issues.  We set it up with a meal choice, too; that way we know who wants what. "Jane Doe Chx__ Beef__ will not attend __" We actually printed the RSVP cards out all the same, and hand wrote in each person's name. Our wedding wasn't super formal and on the smaller side, so this worked fine.

kmmssg

We had to use Ziti's suggestion.  My stepdd and I planned her wedding.  Her bio mom's and stepdad's families are cretins when it comes to proper wedding etiquette and we had to idiot proof the invitations. 

I have NO problem with no kid weddings, DD's was one.  You do need to be very gracious about those who decide not to come because their little precious wasn't invited.  You decided to go no kids (good for you!) and they decide how they will handle it.  Best of luck to you.

FWIW- we got a LOT of backlash on the kid thing from bio mom's family.  DD was set in their decision to not have kids and stuck to her guns.  She had no problem with that one.