Bachelorette party and Moms?

dodgegirl2133

Hello all!

I must say I'm close to m mom, but her "fun" style and my fun style do not match. So, question is, is it proper etiquite to invite MOB and FMIL? Or can it just be a fun single girls day?

Also, I am not having a bridal shower.

Thanks!

Summer2011Bride

You don't have to invite your mom or FMIL. Neither was invited to mine and neither expected to be. In fact, the moms were never invited to any b-party I've gone to. If you think her feelings might be hurt, what about suggesting just the two of you go out to lunch that day or on another day? Maybe make a mother/daughter day of doing things she enjoys. That would probably mean more to her anyway than partying with you and a bunch of other girls.

dori851

You don't have to invite your mom or FMIL, it's up to you! I am inviting them to mine, but have been to plenty of b-parties where the moms haven't been there.

Maggie0829

My Mom was at mine but that is because my bach party consisted of me and my BM going to Florida (where my parents live), visiting Universal Studios and then lounging by the pool for a few days.

You do not have to invite your Mom or FMIL to your bach party.  If you want to you can but it isn't necessary.

mbody

My mom isn't invited to mine and I do think she was sliiighty hurt. But, it's a destination b-party about six hours from home and we're staying the weekend. We'll be doing a lot of drinkin' in the pools during the day and going out at night and that's not really her thing.

Meegles4

My mom and FMIL aren't invited to mine, in fact my FMIL actually told me she didn't want to be invited. However, if you think either/both would be hurt, what about planning a lunch or dinner as part of the "day" that they could attend, and then go off with your girlfriends for the fun stuff that the moms wouldn't enjoy as much?

amymaysa

I've never heard of Mom's being invited to bachelorette parties...maybe it's not as come in my area.

chelseamb11

You don't have to invite them.  My mom is coming to mine and I also invited FMIL, but going out to the bars isn't really her style so she politely declined.

pgcp

My daughters and I are very close.  However, I would never even imagine that they would invite me to a party like that.  It's just not something for the moms IMO

rebarobert2012

Generally, I don't think that moms are FMILs and invited to bachelorette parties.  But it's really up to you.  I think my bridesmaids and I are just going to do a shopping trip, and my mom and FMIL would be welcome to come if they wanted, but I'm not sure if they will want to.  I think that my fiance invited his dad to his bachelor party since they are going to a baseball game, but I don't think that his dad wanted to go.

TinyDancer06

I think out of the bachelorette parties I've attended, only older relatives attended one, and I think they ended up leaving early.  Depending on what you do, maybe you could a nice brunch or dinner with people attending the bachelorette and key female family members before the main bachelorette festivities?  That way they feel included, but then you "have your right to party" afterwards without feeling like someone is always looking over your shoulder?  I may be considering that (I've got a long ways away)...doing a brunch with the family before possibly leaving for a night in Nantucket with my close friends.  Just another option to consider!

OliveOilsMom

We are going out to dinner to start the evening and the moms and my neice (who is a BM) is going to be at dinner.  Then after dinner is when the crazy fun will start.  Everyone attending knows the moms and my neice will be there, so the dinner will be the tame part of the evening.

I've had both, where sometimes the moms attended and sometimes not.  I think it all depends on what is planned for the evening and how adventurous your mom is!

KarleeKrause35

My mom and FMIL will be there, but that's also because they are the off the wall partying type- I actually think it will be more fun if they're there.

However, I can absolutely see why some would not enjoy theirs to attend. It really just depends on the circumstance and everyone's personalities and preferences.

EmilyTork

My wedding is a long way off, but I know that my mom will for sure be there. Partying and any innapropriate things will probably be set up by her TBH. My mom is just like that. My FMIL will probably be there to. The moms are both very lax and love to have crazy fun

chumlee7478

My mom is not invited to mine, and she is upset.  However, she has been looking for reasons to get her undies in a bunch, and this is the latest.  It's the same night as the bridal shower, and she was upset she wasn't included in the planning of either event (please note: she never offered to host or pay for either event, and my bridal party has already planned everything).  One of my BMs told her we'd be going out for dinner, drinks, bowling and kareoke, and she said she wasn't interested, but wanted the event changed to something she'd like to attend.  She got mad when a BM and my MOH pointed out that the party was for me, not for her.  Oh well.

It would never have occurred to me to invite my mom, we don't have similar social interests, and to be honest, I wouldn't want her there.  Her idea of a great night is watching biggest loser and sitting quietly while the news is on.  That's not my idea of a great night. 

specialk84

I turned down the bachelorette party offered to me once I found out MIL would throw an absolute shiit fit if she wasn't invited. She and I do not get along at all, and I didn't want a night devoted to me having fun to be ruined by her. 

Instead, I had a nice girls' weekend with my MOH cousin, who flew in for my bridal shower. 

NinaSchwab

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-and-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8089a4-0de3-4693-bfda-cd3d5709898aPost:c082a59a-a902-4a03-953f-ccd7012dc617">Re: Bachelorette party and Moms?</a>:
[QUOTE] One of my BMs told her we'd be going out for dinner, drinks, bowling and kareoke, and she said she wasn't interested, <strong>but wanted the event changed to something she'd like to attend</strong>.  She got mad when a BM and my MOH pointed out that the party was for me, not for her.  <strong>Her idea of a great night is watching biggest loser</strong> and sitting quietly while the news is on.  That's not my idea of a great night. 
Posted by chumlee7478[/QUOTE]

Ouch. Your mom is making my blood pressure rise. But bite your tongue with the biggest loser talk- that show is gold.

sweetcanadian1979

My mom is coming, but not my mil. My mom is a bit different & was more like "the friend" rather than my mom. I raised myself after about age 10 mostly. My mom will be fine & i am not worried either way. If you invite your MIL though i would invite your mom. She would be hurt otherwise. 

I know of people who had the mom's come for dinner with them then went out without them after dinner. Could that work?

Katelyn89

I think my girls are planning something mom friendly during the day and BM only friendly during the night.

pattib5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-and-moms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8089a4-0de3-4693-bfda-cd3d5709898aPost:93176868-33f2-4557-bb73-d258a7955b94">Re: Bachelorette party and Moms?</a>:
[QUOTE] However, if you think either/both would be hurt, what about planning a lunch or dinner as part of the "day" that they could attend, and then go off with your girlfriends for the fun stuff that the moms wouldn't enjoy as much?
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]
This. Especially since you're not having a shower. You can have a nice brunch/lunch/dinner, then ditch the moms and go out for a girls' night.

That said, the last bachelorette party I attended (as well as my own bachelorette party coming up) had/will have at least one mom there. But they're "fun" moms. ;)