How to deal with pushy people?

LaneyStoves

Does anyone else seem to have the problem where your FILs want to push you around about your decisions?  My FI and I are happy with the decisions we're making and yet his family just won't drop it when we didn't do something their way!  It is really causing a lot of undue stress and taking the fun out of planning.  They, especially his mom and sister, act like it is their wedding!  We've tried to stand up to them about out decisions but it doesn't work. 

Any other suggestions on how to handle pushy parents and sister?

badkittyct

"Thank you for those great ideas. We wil defintely consider it!"

Leave it there.

redheadfsu

1. Are they paying? If so they get to have a say. That is what you have to deal with when you accepted the offer.

2. If not, then your FI should deal with them. If he doesn't, then you have a FI problem, not an in-law problem. Which means get ready to deal with this forever.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-pushy-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1df12ee5-508d-4dd9-a9c7-eb08d633c9edPost:dbecfd4a-45ca-4d0f-87c2-bb9a90af7430">Re: How to deal with pushy people?</a>:
[QUOTE]"Thank you for those great ideas. We wil defintely consider it!" Leave it there.
Posted by badkittyct[/QUOTE]

This plus if it becomes too much of a hassle, don't talk to them about wedding plans beyond what they need to know (time, date, and location).

EDIT: Forgot about the money issue. I agree with PP about if they are paying, they have a say in what their money is going towards. You can decline their money if this is the case or listen to their suggestions and do things that they want too. If they're aren't paying then just what I said before.

Snippylynn

Bad kitty, whomever has the foot in the bottom center of your photo has a massive, ugly bunion and should have that sucker fixed. 

baystateapple

There will always be someone who thinks that his or her idea is better than yours and tries to push it on you.  This applies to weddings, babies, child-rearing, careers, etc.  Learn the fine art of smiling, nodding, and then doing what you think  is best.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-pushy-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1df12ee5-508d-4dd9-a9c7-eb08d633c9edPost:34062d35-8aba-449d-ab94-a68ae072bb9c">Re: How to deal with pushy people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bad kitty, whomever has the foot in the bottom center of your photo has a massive, ugly bunion and should have that sucker fixed. 
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

This comment made me lol because it has nothing to do with OP. Love it, but they probably should follow Snippy's advice. I looked after I read the comment.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-pushy-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1df12ee5-508d-4dd9-a9c7-eb08d633c9edPost:34062d35-8aba-449d-ab94-a68ae072bb9c">Re: How to deal with pushy people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bad kitty, whomever has the foot in the bottom center of your photo has a massive, ugly bunion and should have that sucker fixed. 
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

H and i were getting pedis the other day (yes, he loves his pedicures, I love that man) and the woman next to me had a HUGE bunion. He sent me a text that said "WTF is that alien thing on her foot!?" and gave me the greatest look. He had no idea. He spent the rest of the pedi googling bunions.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-pushy-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1df12ee5-508d-4dd9-a9c7-eb08d633c9edPost:34062d35-8aba-449d-ab94-a68ae072bb9c">Re: How to deal with pushy people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bad kitty, whomever has the foot in the bottom center of your photo has a massive, ugly bunion and should have that sucker fixed. 
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>I had to scoll up and look, and now I wish I hadn't.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, practice saying, "Thanks you for your suggestion.  We'll consider it."</div>

LaneyStoves

This is probably exactly what I'll do...then do what I want.

hlq2011

Ditto PP.  If they're paying, then they have some control.  But if they're just constantly giving you advice that you don't like, my fallback is "Hmm, I'll have to think about that."

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_deal-pushy-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1df12ee5-508d-4dd9-a9c7-eb08d633c9edPost:835d2246-929e-4985-b7e8-07e1024fd026">How to deal with pushy people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone else seem to have the problem where your FILs want to push you around about your decisions?  My FI and I are happy with the decisions we're making and yet his family just won't drop it when we didn't do something their way!  It is really causing a lot of undue stress and taking the fun out of planning.  They, especially his mom and sister, act like it is their wedding!  We've tried to stand up to them about out decisions but it doesn't work.  Any other suggestions on how to handle pushy parents and sister?
Posted by LaneyStoves[/QUOTE]