Night before wedding

wwsg

Please help!! We are getting married on a Saturday night. half of the wedding guests are coming from out of town. While I truly appreciate people spending the money and time, I am not planning on a dinner or anything formal that Friday night. We are getting married on a ship, not having a bridal party and planned a very nice brunch for Sunday morning for all theout of town folks. Everyone is telling me to do this, that and whatever, saying people will expect dinner on Friday. Is this the general opinion ? Am I wrong if I don't plan anything? I feel with the wedding and brunch, having Friday night is just another big event similar to the wedding with that many OOT guests. Please help , feeling guilty and frustated.

Birdie1483

Generally if you had a rehearsal, you would thank your guests with some type of food. However, if you're not having a WP or a rehearsal then there's no reason for a dinner that night. I think you're fine.

mkrupar

Usually the dinner on the night before the wedding is the rehearsal dinner. If you're not having a rehearsal, or a WP to rehearse with then technically, no you don't have to host anything. Some people take the opportunity to invite OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner but it's not mandated. So, no,  I don't think you're required to host anything Friday evening.

kcscejal

It's not necessary.  Sometimes people will extend an invitation to OOT guests for the rehearsal dinner, but you're not obligated to host anything the night before if you don't want to.

MattsPenguin

I don't think that you need to plan anything. 

I plan on hanging out at the hotel with my friends and whomever else is there.  But it's nothing formal. 

If you just want to chill out the night before your wedding.  Go for it!  You deserve it.


Although, if you are having a rehearsal, you must have a rehearsal dinner to thank those who attended the rehearsal.

Maggie0829

You definitely do not owe them a dinner Friday night.  If you were having a rehearsal with your WP (which you don't have) then you would have a dinner with your WP.  I think you should supply your OOT guests with a list of activities/restaurants in your city that are available so that they have some idea of what there is to do but other than that you don't need to do anything (you actually don't even need to supply a list but it is a nice gesture). 

noodle_oo

No you are fine.  You will be hosting them Sat at the wedding and Sunday for brunch.  They will be fine on their own Friday night.

Brandiewine11

It's definitely not necessary to host something for everyone on Friday. I don't know anyone that would expect this. All of our guests are traveling in the day before and we're just having the small RD. However, if you can suggest some places to eat in a welcome letter, etc, that is always nice. Who is "everyone" saying this? If it's your parents or FMIL/FFIL let them offer to host a pizza dinner or something if they are willing/able. Nice if you can do it, but not required.

AbbeyS2011

What they said above. 

nontradduo

You don't have to shower your guests with free dinners and entertainment.  It's a wedding, you've gone to a lot of expense to give them a good time for the wedding day.  You've done what you need to do, especially since you don't have a need for a rehearsal dinner.  It also sounds like you've already gone out of your way to give them a nice day after brunch.
The suggestion of giving your guests a list of places they can go, things to do is a nice one and is a considerate thing to do.  If you're really worried about them, you could make up a small welcome bag to go with the "Places to Go" list.
I'm doing that same thing for my out of towners- here's a little snack pack, a water, some options of things they can do and the shuttle schedule and number to get them to the wedding from their hotel if they don't want to drive.
I often think we are expected to go way overboard on wedding stuff sometimes.

Loopyseven

What you have planned is great.  If you want to see them informally, you could spread word that you and your FI will be hanging out at Place "X" Friday night between 8 and 10 if they'd like to join you or whatever.  No formal invitation, word of mouth information only and if people come they pay their own way.