Did you have to think about it?

WildRumpus

I'm watching Scrubs, and Turk just asked Carla to marry him-she said she needed to think about it. Maybe it's just me, but I think that if I needed time to think about whether I wanted to marry FI, I should maybe take a look at the relationship as a whole.

So...did you have to think about saying yes?

Birdie1483

Yeah if either of you have to think about if you want to get married, I think the proposal was a little premature.

I almost said "it's about damn time" when FI finally proposed.

Ciaram22

Nope I just said yes.

mica178

I just said yes.

WildRumpus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e6ff3b5-0c74-4f4d-bd7c-880e91ad7bd9Post:679babf4-2751-411c-b9b0-7bdbfea30ece">Re: Did you have to think about it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah if either of you have to think about if you want to get married, I think the proposal was a little premature. I almost said "it's about damn time" when FI finally proposed. :)
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]


Haha, ditto! Rick and I have been together for 7 years :)

SEWF

No I didn't have to think about it.

But by that time we'd been together for six years, so it was obvious to us that that is the direction we were going.

Meg1979

I was ready.   I said yes and didn't have to wait.

Beachy730

H and I went shopping that day to pick out my ring, so it would have been ridiculous to say I had to think about it.  We had talked about it a lot before anyways, so there was nothing to think about.  I did joke about messing with him and saying I had to think about it (since obviously we just had picked out the ring and I was saying yes), but he was crying when he proposed so I felt too horrible to not just say yes immediately.  

Birdie1483

Yep. I also wouldn't have moved 2 hours and adopted a dog with FI if I wasn't 100% sure I would say yes if he asked.

FutureMrsTR

I said yes right away.  And we'd only been dating a little over a year.

I can understand someone who maybe has been married before and is a little gun shy about the actual marriage part of it having to think about it, but still being sure of the relationship.

CassieeK

I didn't need to think about it at all.  I knew he was the one.

GeauxTigers17

Definitely did not need to think about it. We had already discussed marriage. But then, I'm of the philosophy that while the proposal can be a surprise, the marriage shouldn't be...

brilibby4

We had already been ring shopping so no, I did not have to think about it at all. 

FutureMrsTR

OR I could see if the guy proposed way before the girl thought he would or before she thought they were at that place, she might have to think about it.  But not because he wasn't the right guy, but because she hadn't already considered it.  Because I thought a lot about whether or not I wanted to marry H, I just happened to do it before he proposed.

I don't watch Scrubs regularly so I don't know how far into their relationship Turk proposed.  I'm just trying to think of scenarios where "I have to think about it" doesn't mean you have a bad relationship.

lyndausvi

Well DH never really 'asked'...  we just kind of talked about being married and before long we just considered ourselves engaged.  He didn't think we were 'official' until I got the ring (which was just kind-of given to me after he met my parents).  

But I do not have a problem with someone saying they will think about it.  The Queen Mum turned down King George 3 times before saying yes.  Sometimes people do not come to the same conclusion at the same time.

I know a lot of woman were  ready way before their husbands, but wait around for him to pop the question. It stands to reason that occasionally a guy can be ready before the woman.

WildRumpus

TR, I'm watching episode 37, and they started dating around the 2nd episode, so however long that is in TV-land

akhensley81

I never really even got a proposal. We had been talking about it for months, and one day we were looking at a 2010 calendar for fun and picked a date.. and then we decided it was time to tell our families. Haha. I didn't even get my ring until a few months before the wedding. We did it wrong.

WildRumpus

Lynda, I don't necessarily see it as a deal breaker, it just seems strange to me. Maybe it's just because Rick and I were ready at the same time.

luvdncn90

We're not engaged yet but are talking about getting engaged by the end of this year and looking at the end of next year to be married. So if I had to think about it, that would be a little odd.

I've known since our first year together that I want to marry this man. I won't even have to think about saying yes, I'll probably just scream and cry like a little girl.

dianemc10

Nope. I knew right away.

There's a girl on my local board whose signature says something like: 

Dated: October 1, 2000

He proposed: October 1, 2005

I accepted: October 6, 2005

A full FIVE days went by??? It took you FIVE days?!?

That signature always weirds me out.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e6ff3b5-0c74-4f4d-bd7c-880e91ad7bd9Post:679babf4-2751-411c-b9b0-7bdbfea30ece">Re: Did you have to think about it?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Yeah if either of you have to think about if you want to get married, I think the proposal was a little premature</strong>. I almost said "it's about damn time" when FI finally proposed. :)
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

Seriously. No one should be worried about anyone saying no in that situation.

I didn't have to think about it because I'm the one who asked what our marriage time line looked like, lol. And then I picked out my own ring before the proposal.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e6ff3b5-0c74-4f4d-bd7c-880e91ad7bd9Post:927f781c-d1d3-4286-9cc6-18940d30beb3">Re: Did you have to think about it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well DH never really 'asked'...  we just kind of talked about being married and before long we just considered ourselves engaged.  He didn't think we were 'official' until I got the ring (which was just kind-of given to me after he met my parents).   But I do not have a problem with someone saying they will think about it.  The Queen Mum turned down King George 3 times before saying yes.  Sometimes people do not come to the same conclusion at the same time. I know a lot of woman were  ready way before their husbands, but wait around for him to pop the question. It stands to reason that occasionally a guy can be ready before the woman.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I think old-fashioned upper-class circles were totally different. And that's how you get the whole "will she or won't she?" and nervousness of proposals in old movies. Think about Jane Austen novels, too. People didn't really "date" before they got married. It often involved meeting you at a function with your family or perhaps coming to dinner at your house or going on a chaperoned activity. And then the guy decided you'd be a good wife. At times, people didn't really know each other that well before they got married.

quirky75

No thinking needed. We had been talking for a couple months about eventually getting married so the proposal didn't come out of nowhere. I was ready for it.

I didn't say "yes" right away though. I think I said "Oh my god. Oh my god."  He had caught me offguard and I wasn't expecting it at that moment.

professorscience

I thought FI was kidding, so I told him it was a mean joke.  Once I realized he was for serious I said yes right away.

abbalish

H never actually asked me, heh.

AdeleDazeem

I thought I would have to think about it.  I knew it was coming and I still was stressing out.  Getting engaged was a big step and a big deal to me. 

When he finally started talking that day and I knew where it was heading, I didn't even think.  I just said yes. 

Now I wonder why I ever stressed about it.  Saying yes was the easiest and best decision I ever made.

DramaGeek

Nope, no thinking, but like a few PPs we didn't do the traditional proposal.  We were young so we had a 4 day conversation making sure that we were ready to get married and knew how we'd support ourselves, etc. then we told the 'rents and went ring shopping.

amycannova

Lol I made him give me a list of reasons why I should marry him, but he knew I wasn't serious, I said yes of course!

ArmyofUs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e6ff3b5-0c74-4f4d-bd7c-880e91ad7bd9Post:f2818a41-dace-44d9-8532-b90da8c3b21f">Re: Did you have to think about it?</a>:
[QUOTE]H never actually asked me, heh.
Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE]
Same here.  Fi never "asked".  We just talked about it and decided it was a good idea.  I received my ring from his mom, and it's awesome.

adunn09

We talked about getting married for a full year before FI proposed.  We were waiting until I was finished with grad school and had a real job and he was within a few months of finishing grad school.  I didn't hesitate at all to say yes.  I knew he was right and the time was right, so it was easy.

awroblewski

Not at all!!! I love my FI and couldn't wait to get engaged...he's the love of my life!