Oh man, I'm in trouble

grizzly04

Long story short I have a little problem. My venue is a two story barn and I'm worried about seating now. Part of the problem was my fiance wanted the wedding there horribly. We were planning on a church wedding until he finally spoke up about how he does not want to get married and have the reception where is now divorced parents had theirs. It was in a small town and the community center/hall has plenty of room. Well, now we are having it at a place where his dad's side of the family has their family reunions. It seems that everyone is excited excpet for his mother and her side (you can never please those people, and they are not very nice to me so I don't care!) and me.

My fiance's idea was that we can through people upstairs who are parents invited that we don't know; which is mostly his mother's guest list. Me, trying to make better of the issue I thought well maybe I can put games and other things up their for the kids. There is a playground on site, but I though having something to do for the kids and having them upstairs might be a good idea. Yes, I know an adult would have to stay up there with them but that won't be a problem.

I'm just worried that we won't be able to fit everyone of the first floor. We have been out there twice to measure and I still don't understand how the owner has such a high number for seating. I'm just really worried and don't want to make people mad. Our wedding is more laid back and we are trying to encourage the guests to go and do things outside that will be provided as well. The dance is going to be several hours after the late lunch/early dinner because of the issue of room. We have to move tables, so I don't want tell guests they have to get up and move.

STARMOON44

Is it too late to change the venue or guest list? Because that's the obvious solution to inviting too many people. Instead of moving all the tables for dancing, can you set up a tent for that? Does the venue have pictures of it set up at your capacity? Can you measure out your chairs and tables on large sheets of paper and play around with arranging those?

SlothGoals

Ditto PPs. Also, if you're confused as to how X number of people will fit in the space, talk to the venue coordinator and ask them how they fit that many people in the space.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-man-im-in-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eabb7f9-220d-49df-ad89-4ffd3b4a2eb6Post:de05eb29-6aeb-4492-a8b4-36cc5110e9c2">Re: Oh man, I'm in trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto PPs. Also, if you're confused as to how X number of people will fit in the space, talk to the venue coordinator and ask them how they fit that many people in the space.
Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

<div>This. If they host weddings there, they must have a game plan they normally use. </div>

tanyamary627

In Response to Re:Oh man, I'm in trouble:[QUOTE]
Is the second level a full second level or a second level balcony type set up that looks out over the first level? Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I think this question is key. We are also getting married in a barn and there is a loft that is open and overlooks the first level. We are going to have tables in the loft on the side closest to the railing and people in the loft will actually have a great view of downstairs. We plan to put more friends upstairs that will be more likely to come down for dancing, whereas having older folk up there that will stay at their tables.

Peledreamsofrain

In all honesty, we can't explain the venue owner's reasoning or thoughts to you. Puck up the phone and call them. Ask them for a layout sheet, even go there with a notepad and pace out the site with them. These are all things we cant do or answer for you.

grizzly04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-man-im-in-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eabb7f9-220d-49df-ad89-4ffd3b4a2eb6Post:4f07a632-42f3-4908-85ad-7254cbfd8910">Re:Oh man, I'm in trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto star. I'd switch venues or cut the guestlist. If you cannot do that, I would cut the dancing. Afternoon receptions only last a couple of hours usually anyway, and I'd be leaving as soon as you moved tables and no longer had enough seating for everyone. Is the second level a full second level or a second level balcony type set up that looks out over the first level?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Well kinda, he has it guarded off with metal fencing so no ones falls through. You can hear everything, and see a little bit, but you would have to make an effort to see.

I'm just frustrated because I don't want to have the wedding their and my fiance wrote the guy out a check for $400 without a contract or anything. The guy swears up and down I can fit everyone but won't give me anything. I am just very frustrated and I don't know what to do. My fiance gets mad everytime I bring up about changing it and we already have the invites printed. The guest list we cut as much as possible without causing a huge mess. I know you can cut down all the way to parents but these people that we are inviting are very important and we talk them on a regular basis.

STARMOON44

Ok, so you've already put down a deposit and invited people.  I agree with your (really inconsiderate) fiance that it's too late to change.

So what are your other options?  Cut dancing, for starters, you don't have room.

Investigate table sizes- does one geographic combo work better than others?

See if you can get a tent to extend the space- it sounds like you're doing other things outside, so the weather should be good enough.  Maybe you could have dancing there? Set up the buffet tables?

I like the idea of making the upstairs a kids space.

Switch from buffet (room) to plated meal or family style.

Get some marriage counselling!!

STARMOON44

Ok, so you've already put down a deposit and invited people.  I agree with your (really inconsiderate) fiance that it's too late to change.

So what are your other options?  Cut dancing, for starters, you don't have room.

Investigate table sizes- does one geographic combo work better than others?

See if you can get a tent to extend the space- it sounds like you're doing other things outside, so the weather should be good enough.  Maybe you could have dancing there? Set up the buffet tables?

I like the idea of making the upstairs a kids space.

Switch from buffet (room) to plated meal or family style.

Get some marriage counselling!!

grizzly04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-man-im-in-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eabb7f9-220d-49df-ad89-4ffd3b4a2eb6Post:3e4eca5e-f848-4f26-8c22-306a0b5e2101">Re: Oh man, I'm in trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so you've already put down a deposit and invited people.  I agree with your (really inconsiderate) fiance that it's too late to change. So what are your other options?  Cut dancing, for starters, you don't have room. Investigate table sizes- does one geographic combo work better than others? See if you can get a tent to extend the space- it sounds like you're doing other things outside, so the weather should be good enough.  Maybe you could have dancing there? Set up the buffet tables? I like the idea of making the upstairs a kids space. Switch from buffet (room) to plated meal or family style. Get some marriage counselling!!
Posted by STARMOON44[/QUOTE]

Well, this is going to be hard to explain. The buffet line is already built in, but it is a way a hallway. You step into one side, go down the line, and the exit out the other end. It's rather nice and keeps the food out of the way, so we are not fighting with that. There are only eight foot tables there. I like your tent idea, but I already know what the answer is. I get the "We only need me and you there and that's what matters."

We already went through the marriage classes and he is just stumborn old country boy and thinks that everyone is fine with whatever he is fine with.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-man-im-in-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eabb7f9-220d-49df-ad89-4ffd3b4a2eb6Post:399851db-7984-45a3-aeb3-e04231f31bcc">Oh man, I'm in trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]Long story short I have a little problem. My venue is a two story barn and I'm worried about seating now. Part of the problem was my fiance wanted the wedding there horribly. We were planning on a church wedding until he finally spoke up about how he does not want to get married and have the reception where is now divorced parents had theirs. It was in a small town and the community center/hall has plenty of room. Well, now we are having it at a place where his dad's side of the family has their family reunions. It seems that everyone is excited excpet for his mother and her side (you can never please those people, and they are not very nice to me so I don't care!) and me. My fiance's idea was that we can through people upstairs who are parents invited that we don't know; which is mostly his mother's guest list. Me, trying to make better of the issue I thought well maybe I can put games and other things up their for the kids. There is a playground on site, but I though having something to do for the kids and having them upstairs might be a good idea. Yes, I know an adult would have to stay up there with them but that won't be a problem. I'm just worried that we won't be able to fit everyone of the first floor. We have been out there twice to measure and I still don't understand how the owner has such a high number for seating. I'm just really worried and don't want to make people mad. Our wedding is more laid back and we are trying to encourage the guests to go and do things outside that will be provided as well. <strong>The dance is going to be several hours after the late lunch/early dinner because of the issue of room.</strong> We have to move tables, so I don't want tell guests they have to get up and move.
Posted by grizzly04[/QUOTE]

Can you further explain that bolded part to me?

grizzly04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-man-im-in-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eabb7f9-220d-49df-ad89-4ffd3b4a2eb6Post:64c4aa3b-f1ad-40ec-82f1-b6b3be6b5655">Re: Oh man, I'm in trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Oh man, I'm in trouble : Can you further explain that bolded part to me?
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

The wedding starts at two, and we are planning on starting the dance around six for people who stick around. We will have to move tables and even put some away in order to do this. It is more than likely going to be the head table so we are not moving our guests.

In all honesty, I'm not happy at all about the set up. Frankly, I'm irritated with everyone as well. My parents are on his side as well. They use the, well all we did was get married in a church and have cake and punch at Grandma's house. Well, that was twenty years ago and people's expectations were not that big back then in the wedding department.

I'm just super frustrated.

colleengilhooly

Where in Iowa are you located? I am trying to think if I might know the barn you are talking about.

Also, there is no way I would stick around for 4 hours and wait for dancing.

grizzly04

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-man-im-in-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eabb7f9-220d-49df-ad89-4ffd3b4a2eb6Post:3b60c06d-03b1-4006-a4d7-de5f5787726f">Re: Oh man, I'm in trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]Where in Iowa are you located? I am trying to think if I might know the barn you are talking about. Also, there is no way I would stick around for 4 hours and wait for dancing.
Posted by colleengilhooly[/QUOTE]


It's outside of Cherokee, it's called the Grainery. The website is thegrainerylodge.com I think.