Guest of a guest etiquette

twohollydays

If i invite a couple as a social unit cannot be split. Mr and Mrs. Smith. The wife RSVPs that Mr. Smith cannot come and that she is bringing her sister instead. Is that acceptable and if not am I able to say the invitation was for Mr. Smith and that I cannot accomodate a guest of a guest?

sarah0725

Yes, you can say that.

strlzfan11

I don't really understand why you don't want her to bring someone else.  You've already budgeted for two people.  It's not like she's asking to bring her 4 kids when the invitation was addressed to just her & her husband.

Milsey32

Was it addressed to Mr and Mrs Smith? Have you met the sister? I agree with both PPs ... you can say that, but at the same time you've budgeted for that amount so it really isn't an issue. IMO, it's still totally rude that someone would do that. 

mattsdorothy

Personally, I would think about my guest's comfort level. It sounds like your Mrs. Guest feels more comfortable not attending the wedding solo.

Habs2Hart

I don't think it is right of her to add someone else to her invitation if you specified it was for Mr. Smith... but you've budgeted for 2 people anyway, so is it that big of a deal if she brings her sister instead?

cmcurris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-of-guest-ettiquete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eb72897-fa75-48c9-9e2f-79f2bab2ad8bPost:77ee8aa8-fccc-4454-b408-370669a1a1ed">Re: Guest of a guest ettiquete</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it is right of her to add someone else to her invitation if you specified it was for Mr. Smith... but you've budgeted for 2 people anyway, so is it that big of a deal if she brings her sister instead?
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

This.

jerseydevil

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-of-guest-ettiquete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eb72897-fa75-48c9-9e2f-79f2bab2ad8bPost:77ee8aa8-fccc-4454-b408-370669a1a1ed">Re: Guest of a guest ettiquete</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it is right of her to add someone else to her invitation if you specified it was for Mr. Smith... but you've budgeted for 2 people anyway, so is it that big of a deal if she brings her sister instead?
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

Agree.

twohollydays

I dont mind although when my SO cannot make it I go alone so that the hostess can give the slot to someone else.
It hasnt happened yet but I was just curious about the ettiquette in this situation. I only invited what I could afford so Im not worried about the cost factor as much.

twohollydays

No B list. I invited what we could afford. If the list drops Im upgrading at the hall with appetizers etc.

Habs2Hart

Okay, well if you don't have a B list and you're doing what you can afford, I would just let this one slide.  Maybe she feels uncomfortable going alone. 

NOLAbridealmost

I just had this happen to me last week.  We're letting it slide. 

twohollydays

K. I was thinking that as we only invited what we could afford.

twohollydays

Well I dont consider this a b list but maybe you all do. SO forgot to add plus ones for HIS friends and a few RELATIVES gulp. We cannot afford anyone else. If our numbers drop I was going to offer these people a guest before the upgrade at our hall.
So I was trying to stay on top of the guestlist.

gailnelpaso

Let her bring a guest - Two is two and if husband cant make it she probably doesn't want to go alone.  At least you aren't getting the invited guests coming and and wanting to bring additional guests - I am getting that.

Bubbalub

For me it's not a matter of whether the guest of the guest was budgeted or not. It is a matter of inviting the people I love and care about to the wedding. If I invited Mr. and Mrs. Smith because they, as a couple, are close to me, then I would be annoyed if Mrs. Smith invited someone else instead of her husband.

Then again, there are a few other factors to this situation as well, such as who the people are in relation to you. Is it your mother's brother and his wife, and the wife wants to bring his sister? Do you know the sister? Are you close to the wife? Will it cause a family stink? Are Mr. and Mrs. Smith not family, but friends of yours?

All of these things would play a factor in making the decision to let it slide or not if I were in your position.