Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to uninvite someone who...?

How do I uninvite someone to my wedding who is making unwanted and unsolicited sexual advances towards me? I have sent out the STDs, not the actual invites. However I know a STD = invite. He is an old friend of mine, we had a fling years ago, but he has recently decided to be inappropriate with me over the internet.
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Re: How to uninvite someone who...?

  • First of all, block him from all of your social networking sites (and your phone if you can) and tell him that if he continues making unwanted and inappropriate advances towards you, you will file for a restraining order or other type of legal protection.

    Secondly, this is a case when it's ok to not actually send someone an invitation who has received a STD.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-uninvite-someone-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f166a0c-5bad-41e5-9e2e-04dc45baabb9Post:79410ef3-66fa-4062-a308-872e00ec5ebf">Re: How to uninvite someone who...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]First of all, block him from all of your social networking sites (and your phone if you can) and tell him that if he continues making unwanted and inappropriate advances towards you, you will file for a restraining order or other type of legal protection. <strong>Secondly, this is a case when it's ok to not actually send someone an invitation who has received a STD.</strong>
    Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ditto.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-uninvite-someone-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f166a0c-5bad-41e5-9e2e-04dc45baabb9Post:79410ef3-66fa-4062-a308-872e00ec5ebf">Re: How to uninvite someone who...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]First of all, block him from all of your social networking sites (and your phone if you can) and tell him that if he continues making unwanted and inappropriate advances towards you, you will file for a restraining order or other type of legal protection. <strong>Secondly, this is a case when it's ok to not actually send someone an invitation who has received a STD.</strong>
    Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

    Agree with all of the above, especially the bolded part.
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  • also, let your FI in on what's going on- it may be awkward, but its always better to be open then have someone stumble over a creepy email and have unneccesary worries over it! Not to mention the support he or she will give you will be a relief :)
  • Dude, just don't invite him and get him out of your life (on and offline) altogether.
  • This is one pretty clear case where it's ok to un-invite someone. Unwanted sexual advances are never ok and I agree with the PP who said to let your FI in on what's going on. 
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  • I have one thing to add.

    Why are you inviting someone you once had a fling with? Just very awkward and weird to me. ?

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  • edited March 2012
    He is (was?) a good friend of mine. Our fling happened years ago. He now has a LT girlfriend. I didn't see anything weird about inviting him, until now obviously.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-uninvite-someone-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f166a0c-5bad-41e5-9e2e-04dc45baabb9Post:15cdb536-03ec-4fff-bc79-14a2d312f09c">Re: How to uninvite someone who...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have one thing to add. Why are you inviting someone you once had a fling with? Just very awkward and weird to me. ?
    Posted by brosters[/QUOTE]

    I have to agree.  Hate to sound judgy... it's just a personal preference not to have anyone who's seen me naked in my audience.  Of course, there's an exception for my OB-Gyn and wax girl.  But still.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-uninvite-someone-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f166a0c-5bad-41e5-9e2e-04dc45baabb9Post:ef9d2e46-d583-4cf8-8ee3-befee01a973c">Re: How to uninvite someone who...?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to uninvite someone who...? : I have to agree.  Hate to sound judgy... it's just a personal preference not to have anyone who's seen me naked in my audience.  Of course, there's an exception for my OB-Gyn and wax girl.  But still.
    Posted by chattychiqa[/QUOTE]

    Look up.  She's already explained why it's okay.  I had an ex (who came out of the closet a few years ago) and a guy I had a huge crush on for two years at my wedding.  I didn't think it was awkward, and H didn't care.  H had a couple of girls he'd had things for before at our wedding -- all of them good friends now who have long-term boyfriends.  I really don't see the issue with inviting ex-flings, etc. to your wedding if both you and H are on the same page about it.

    This IS one of the only valid excuses for uninviting someone, so I'd suggest you do it, and ditto the suggestions above about telling your FI.  I think you'll feel better once he knows about it.  GL.
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  • One of my fiance's groomswomen is his best friend, who is also an ex. Their relationship was a mistake, but they were able to hold onto their friendship afterwards.
     
    There is nothing wrong with inviting someone one of the couple had a past relationship with as long as both people are on the same page (and both are okay with it). In my case, she is a close friend of mine as well now, and having her stand up in the wedding means a lot to both of us. We trust each other enough that we know if any of our opposite sex friends were to make an inappropriate advance toward us, the friendship would end right then and there. It's fine for us, because it doesn't bother us. 

    For the OP's question, everyone else has answered that it's fine not to invite him, and I agree. If you asked him to stop and he didn't, he's not a friend worth having. 


  • Oh man, I had the same question! Glad I read this!
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