Rehearsal Dinner Guest List

FutureMrsW9

What's proper ettiquette for invitees to the rehearsal dinner?  BP, OOT guests, parents/grandparents, other ceremony participants...who else?  What if someone in the BP has a significant other?  Are they invited and where would you cut it off?  Would you just invite the SO if they're engaged/married, or would bf/gf count, too?  Are you supposed to invited your aunts and uncles even if they're not in participating in the wedding and/or traveling in from OOT?

I don't want my guest list for the rehearsal to get out of hand, but I'm worried that my FMIL is going to want to invite all of FI's aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. because they were invited to FSIL'd rehearsal.  I just feel if we did this we'd have to do the same for my side and my side is MUCH larger and it would be easily over 100 people, which in my opinion is way too much for a rehearsal dinner.

AmoroAgain

You don't have to include OOT guests, or even family members that aren't involved in the rehearsal.  You should always try to include SO's, though.

FutureMrsW9

As far as I'm concerned at this point I will be paying for the rehearsal dinner, unless FI's parents decide to help later on down the line.  We JUST booked out venue, but we'd like to include the rehearsal dinner in our contract because it'll all be in the same place, and we'll get additional comped rooms for having the rehearsal there...long story.  Anyway, to do this we need a rough head count and I'm really not sure what's proper ettiquette because I've seen people do it different ways.

Sloane99

I think it's nice to invite OOT guests, but really you just need to have yourselves and the wedding party - yes, this includes SOs. Also, obviously since you're thinking your FIs parents may step up to host you should probably include immediate families in your specific guest list as well. Given that right now you guys are footing the bill then you are well within your rights to keep it as small as you want to.

strlzfan11

Parents, siblings, grandparents, and anyone involved in the wedding should all be invited to the rehearsal along with their S/Os.  OOT guests do not need to be invited.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

People who NEED to be invited:

1) immediate family
2) anyone who is at the actual rehearsal
3) the dates of the above people

People whom you can invite but don't have to

1) grandparents
2) close aunts/uncles
3) OOT guests

hz80408

We invited

-Immediately family
-WP w/SO or date
-Grandparents

and since FILs are hosting, they wanted to add their OOT guests.  FMIL offered that I could invite my OOT guests/extended family.  But I didn't want a huge event and also since half of my extended family lives in town and 1/2 out, I feel it'd be rude to do the OOTer's only.

So far, it appears that I'll have 26 guests from my "side" and FI's " side" will have 40.

aral2003

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f6f2c8c-a3fd-4917-bf04-0dbeba3d8588Post:98c072f8-8d8e-40fe-839e-2a94cd0583d5">Re: Rehearsal Dinner Guest List</a>:
[QUOTE]Who is paying for the RD?  That person gets to decide how big the guest list is. And yes, SOs of the wedding party need to be invited. 
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]



As a BM who was just told "no dates" at the RD... I feel obligated to add that inviting SOs to the RD is a must! i think it is rude otherwise!