Well, it could be better, and it could be worse.

doctabroccoli

I mentioned in the good morning thread that we had a meeting with the boss man/thesis advisor/whatever you want to call him that sounded like it may be ominous at 10am.

The good news - he's not dying.... yet.

The bad news - he has a huge lump (10cm) in his chest.  It's been preliminarily labeled as lymphoma, but he's waiting on the results of yesterday's biopsy to know for sure what's going on.

And the worst part is his life is finally getting going at 41 years old.  He life used to be his job until he finally met someone and was supposed to get married on the 22nd in Maui.  Obviously they're not going any more.

So yeah.  Luckily I only have a few months left until I'm finished with my degree.  Too many people I know have gotten sick or have died lately.  So not cool.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-could-better-could-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1fd0ae5c-f5d2-400d-aa6d-e5d10f0cf677Post:cc87de65-00d7-4e3b-a9c2-2a847a307a78">Well, it could be better, and it could be worse.</a>:
[QUOTE]I mentioned in the good morning thread that we had a meeting with the boss man/thesis advisor/whatever you want to call him that sounded like it may be ominous at 10am. The good news - he's not dying.... yet. The bad news - he has a huge lump (10cm) in his chest.  It's been preliminarily labeled as lymphoma, but he's waiting on the results of yesterday's biopsy to know for sure what's going on. And the worst part is his life is finally getting going at 41 years old.  He life used to be his job until he finally met someone and was supposed to get married on the 22nd in Maui.  Obviously they're not going any more. <strong>So yeah.  Luckily I only have a few months left until I'm finished with my degree.  Too many people I know have gotten sick or have died lately.  So not cool.
</strong>Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]


I'm very sorry about your boss/thesis man, but I'm curious what the connection is?

opalsky007

That's awful. On so many levels. I hope he gets good news at his biopsy.

AdeleDazeem

Wow.  How awful for him and his family.  I hope things work out okay.

On another note, I just graduated with my Ph.D.  I know how much depends on your advisor being healthy, remaining in one place, and being active in your research to being successful in graduate school.  At least you'll come out of this unscathed.  I hope the younger students are okay!

[Deleted User]

Oh no that's terrible!

Y I Oughta

Wow, for some reason illness seams to hit at the worst possible time.

AdeleDazeem

LVB - I don't know the exact situation here, but in my graduate school situation, if my advisor had gotten sick and taken an extended leave of absence, it basically brings my schooling to a screaching halt.  You need your advisor to keep going. 

doctabroccoli

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-could-better-could-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1fd0ae5c-f5d2-400d-aa6d-e5d10f0cf677Post:b322ad3e-48e2-477d-9caf-23eb0bc7a7dc">Re: Well, it could be better, and it could be worse.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Well, it could be better, and it could be worse. : I'm very sorry about your boss/thesis man, but I'm curious what the connection is?
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

Connection?

ETA:  If it's related to what Joy said.... yes.  In science and engineering your funding comes from your advisor.  You have to run all of your experiments by your advisor.  Essentially, you can function for a period of time without advising, but you cannot finish your degree without your advisor.  I'll be okay because I only have a few months left.  But if something does happen that he gets worse, I don't know what will happen to the younger students.

louisvillebride21

I didn't mean to sound callous, I was genuinely curious. You said that too many people have gotten sick or died and then seemed to connect that to you being finished with school. I was wondering if there was some connection there. But I do understand this particular instance of your advisor getting sick and you being in trouble in that area.

doctabroccoli

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-could-better-could-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1fd0ae5c-f5d2-400d-aa6d-e5d10f0cf677Post:cb8a26eb-b57c-4ce0-af15-2c98912b7ee0">Re: Well, it could be better, and it could be worse.</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't mean to sound callous, I was genuinely curious. You said that too many people have gotten sick or died and then seemed to connect that to you being finished with school. I was wondering if there was some connection there. But I do understand this particular instance of your advisor getting sick and you being in trouble in that area.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

Oh, sorry, little to no connection to school.  That was just a little bit of rambling Re: other people in my life at that point.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

What do you mean by "obviously, they're not going anymore." Why would that be obvious? If anything, I'd be more inclined to do it.

I'm really sorry. I actually know someone who stepped in an advised a student when her advisor passed away. Which must have been horrible.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-could-better-could-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1fd0ae5c-f5d2-400d-aa6d-e5d10f0cf677Post:3f1577b4-9e35-4c92-af5a-f7a613845252">Re: Well, it could be better, and it could be worse.</a>:
[QUOTE]What do you mean by "obviously, they're not going anymore." Why would that be obvious? If anything, I'd be more inclined to do it. I'm really sorry. I actually know someone who stepped in an advised a student when her advisor passed away. Which must have been horrible.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Mery, the first few weeks after finding something like this are critical. You have dozens of tests so they can figure out what it is, how bad it is, what the best form of treatment is, and then after all that you have to actually have the treatment.

When DH got his diagnosis (and it was a treatable, slow-growing form of cancer), he had nine doctor's appointments in the next week. A CT scan, a series of 5  multiple-hour-long scans to see how he was metabolizing a certain hormone, x-rays, bloodwork, and a lot more. He was so tired after all of it that he basically just came home and crashed.

Best case scenario, if this guy would be done with all of his tests, and surgery could be delayed until after the wedding, he'd likely be too exhausted to enjoy it.

marinabreeze

I'm sorry to hear that also.  I hope the news gets better for him, and things work out for you too.

I agree with Joy, in grad school, so much is dependent on advisors.  I'm working on my PhD, and I'm getting near finished, and one of my committee readers may be headed to jail for up to a year and a half , so I have to scramble to find another reader (I need one chair and at least two readers to defend).  At least it's not my chair (though I feel badly for those who have him as their chair). 

Birdie1483

Wow Opal I didn't realize your H had been sick. What did he have (if you don't mind me asking?)

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_well-could-better-could-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1fd0ae5c-f5d2-400d-aa6d-e5d10f0cf677Post:d09e1b38-9f0e-4352-ae73-788ba924a20f">Re: Well, it could be better, and it could be worse.</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow Opal I didn't realize your H had been sick. What did he have (if you don't mind me asking?)
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

He had a sarcoid tumor, which was discovered and removed during an appendectomy. We're lucky that he trusted his instincts and went to the hospital.

This was almost a year and a half ago that all of this happened, and he's been healthy since then.  He just needs regular scans to make sure it doesn't show up in his GI tract again or in his liver.

Birdie1483

Well thats good!

Doc, I"m sorry to hear about your advisor.

cherbein

I am so sorry to hear about your advisor.  Many kind thoughts and prayers for his friends, family, and students.  In grad school your advisor is key.  They can either make it a horrible experience or be really supportive and help you get through the insanity.  I hope that he and his fiance pull through the upcoming craziness and are able to have their wedding soon.

doctabroccoli

Thanks everyone.  And Opal - I'm glad your husband is doing well.  It's always nice to hear stories like that .  And yes, my boss still has quite a few dr. appts before they can even prescribe a course of action, so that's why they're not going as they were supposed to leave a week from today for him to attend a conference beforehand.

mica178

I"m so sorry to hear about your thesis advisor.  My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his loved ones.  I'm crossing my fingers that his biopsy results show something very treatable.

Lucky for you you're almost done with your thesis, right?  I'm sure that if the treatment course is going to be long and complicated the younger people in your lab/program will be encouraged to find new advisors, as complicated and difficult as that is.  These things do happen and universities and grants can accommodate.