And Guest?

willow17oz

So I was wondering what the thing to do here is...every single person is allow a guest at the wedding (even if everyone comes with plus one its still a relativly small wedding).  What do I do about widows?  I don't want to be rude and not give them a guest but it seems rude to remind them that thier husband is gone (in one case recently) yet it seems rude to assume that becasue thier husband is gone they'll come by themselves...suggestions?

Thanks!!

Festiva

It probebly depends on the length of time they've been widowed.  1 year or more...go ahead and put "and guest"...however, if you feel uncomfortable either way (which seems to be the case) then just call them. 
You do know them right?  I mean, you're inviting them to your wedding- so you should be able to naturally call them for a casual "hey, how are you" and as the conversation progresses- whether or not they have a significant other now or have started dating should come up naturally.  This can come up by your own magic, or sincerely naturally...but find out!!!

Relax- you're so sweet & considerate to even have this on your mind!  They will not be offended, as long as you've kept them in mind=)

willow17oz

Theres the thing, I'm not close to any of these women.  One is my grandmothers friend (not all that close to Grandmother ethier) and the other is my aunt by marriage mother (she comes to all family gatherings, and I see her once a year...which is a lot more then the other elderly women).  So I'm not ok calling people to ask or including a note....I really hate talking to people I don't know well and since I havn't seen grammies friend since high school graduation...7 years by the wedding the whole thing is just ackward...

tenofcups4me

I'd ask the people who do know them what they think would be most appropriate -- your grandmother for the one and the aunt for the other. I think it really depends on the people: I think my grandmothers would have actually been insulted to be invited "And guest" after they were widowed, while I know many other widows who have active social lives with men. I honestly don't think there's a "right" answer for this one.

ohwhynot

"and guest" doesn't necessarily mean "and date," and I think it's nice to allow people to bring any guest they choose, or no guest at all.  My mother, very recently widowed, will be attending my wedding with one of her dear friends.  I'd extend an "and guest" to these women and let them decide how to proceed.