Wedding Etiquette Forum

Providing nursery care during the wedding

We are getting married in a church that has a nursery and playroom attached.  I have absolutely no problem with people bringing their children to the ceremony, but we have decided to hire a few nursery workers so parents can drop their children off, if they choose.  They will likely be the same people who attend the nursery during regular church services.

What would be a good way to let parents know that they have this option (but that it is by no means mandatory)?  Do you all think it would be okay to have ushers greet them as they arrive and say something like, "If you would like, you can take your children to the nursery to be supervised during the ceremony.  Just go through the doors at the front of the sanctuary and go down the stairs on the right."?

Thoughts?  I just don't want it to sound like we are telling guests they have to leave their kids with total strangers.

Re: Providing nursery care during the wedding

  • A large portion of our guests are driving 8 hours or more for our wedding; I don't feel it's our place to tell them they cannot bring their young children when they're already going to so much trouble to celebrate with us.  I want them to be as comfortable as possible, and if that means bringing their kids to both the ceremony and reception, then great.  If they want to take a break for 30 minutes and not have to worry about taking their kids out of the ceremony if they get fussy, then that's what the nursery is for. 
  • I think providing the church nursery is a great idea!  I mean, even people in your church may utilize it since it's there.  People drop their kids off in the nursery all the time when they have never been to our church and the kids are fine.  They get to play with toys instead of sit still for a ceremony.  Ceremonies are boring for kids.  I think it's a nice alternative and a great gesture for your guests. 
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  • I just don't see the point of bringing your kids with you if you aren't going to keep them with you during the ceremony. If I didn't want them at the ceremony then I'd leave them with a personal babysitter, not some random nursery at the church. I guess I fall into the group of people who wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child there.
  • Miranda,

    It is great that you are thinking of your guests and their children. Providing a childcare option is a huge relief to many parents. They want to enjoy your wedding too, and they want to hope their kids won't be a disruption as well. at least most of them do.

    It is a great comfort and peace of mind for them to know they don't have to leave behind a child especially if they live hours away.

    Call them personally, add the info to your website, email them, are all great ways. I think for my own niece's wedding I posted on a family Facebook page even that I would watch kids during the reception, and it worked.

    The way to deal with the idea of leaving the children with the caregiver, is to ask the caregiver to draft up a quick essay about themselves and their experience then share this with the parents ahead of time.

    Good Luck.
    We're what you do with the children? Because your day is about, "I Do", not don't do that!
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