Weird friend inviting herself

riverjib

I actually posted a while ago about a friend who verbally invited me to her wedding then never officially invited me. I was hurt when I realized this, and some people attacked me for feeling that way. Mind you, when I posted this I was already planning my own wedding, and I wasn't insensitive to the demands of planning a wedding, or finances, etc. I didn't expect an invite, since we've drifted apart geographically. But she called me within a half hour of the proposal, after she called her mom, brother, and best friend, and said, "the wedding is going to be so much fun! You have to be a BM...you introduced us!" A year later, after hearing all the details of the planning stage, I didn't even get an invitation.She just got married.

We recently set a date, and she actually had the nerve to message me about how excited she is to go to our wedding! Of course I would have invited her if we went to her wedding, or even if she told me she wasn't inviting me for whatever reason, but she just avoided telling me. And she hasn't even met my fiance! Why on earth would I invite someone who deliberately alienated me in the first place?

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weird-friend-inviting-herself?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:20db4e1e-5287-42f5-bb11-857b2dad3072Post:3312cbf7-e65e-4248-ba8d-de67eeebf889">Weird friend inviting herself</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually posted a while ago about a friend who verbally invited me to her wedding then never officially invited me. I was hurt when I realized this, and some people attacked me for feeling that way. Mind you, when I posted this I was already planning my own wedding, and I wasn't insensitive to the demands of planning a wedding, or finances, etc. I didn't expect an invite, since we've drifted apart geographically. But she called me within a half hour of the proposal, after she called her mom, brother, and best friend, and said, "the wedding is going to be so much fun! You have to be a BM...you introduced us!" A year later, after hearing all the details of the planning stage, I didn't even get an invitation.She just got married. We recently set a date, and she actually had the nerve to message me about how excited she is to go to our wedding! Of course I would have invited her if we went to her wedding, or even if she told me she wasn't inviting me for whatever reason, but she just avoided telling me. And she hasn't even met my fiance! Why on earth would I invite someone who deliberately alienated me in the first place?
Posted by riverjib[/QUOTE]

opalsky007

Wedding invitations aren't tit for tat. If you'd been invited, there would be no reason to invite her to your wedding just because she invited you to hers.

In any case, it sounds like you guys aren't close, and that her behavior has been hurtful. If you don't want her there, just don't invite her. If she asks where her invitation is, just tell her that you're keeping it small. No need to repay her lack of manners.