Random poll about something that bugs me.

tlv204

When you're sitting at a table with friends, eating or drinking or just chatting, do you leave your phone on the table and then proceed to text other people or respond to texts, whether you're actually having a conversation with the other table dwellers or not? 

If you have done it less than 5 times or just in an emergency (although I dont' know what kidn of emergency would require response by text), just say no, but don't pretend you only do it "every once and a while" if you've done it more than that. BE HONEST.  It's anonymous, so there's no reason not to.

I tried not to taint this post with my judgment, but clearly that didn't work. I just want to know if it's only my friends that do this or if everyone does it now and I'm just weird for disliking it.

crfische

I do it all the time. Most people I hang out with do, too.

I mean, I'm not texting the whole time I'm sitting there, but if I get one, I answer it and usually share with my table mate what I'm texting about.

ac_in_dc

Yeah, the only time I leave my phone out is if there's another guest we're expecting and we need to use the phone to help coordinate meeting up.

MeaghanandMichael

The ONLY person I have ever done this to is Mike and ONLY when we are out to dinner and trying to make plans with people after dinner. In my book, that does not count as he is probably doing the same thing to me and we both want it to happen so we know our future plans.

I wouldn't even do this to my sister, mother, or best friend.

ExpatPumpkin

No, I don't do that.  And I hate it when other people do.  I think it's extremely rude.  And it amazes me how technology can make common courtesy go right out the window.  You wouldn't ignore me to carry on a separate conversation, so how is texting any different?

Caveat:  If you're receiving texts from mutual friends about meeting up in a while, for example, that's okay.  But if you're having a completely non-related conversation via text while we're at the table, you're just rude...

baystateapple

The only time I'd ever leave my phone on the table and text would be if there was a serious situation that called for it -- like I was waiting for an important text (re: a friend had a baby, my sister was getting a ride from me and needed to tell me when to pick her up, etc).

My little sister and her best friend text CONSTANTLY, and it drives me batshit.

katiewhompus

It's one thing if its an occasional thing or an emergency call, but it drives me nuts when people do this constantly. One of Dh's cousins was texting her bf on her phone for the entire freaking day when she came to visit us for Christmas. She lives in Georgia and we see her maybe once a year. Oh, and she's 29 and he's 32. Really? You can't go more than 1 hour without texting each other?

tlv204

I just have 3 specific friends (and this isn't even the flaky ones!) that are so ridiculously rude about it.  Like we get to the bar, say hi, they ask what I've been up to, then look down to their phones for 7 minutes straight. Don't fucking ask me a question if you're not going to listen to the answer! What's the point of going out if you don't actually want to talk to the people you're sitting with? If you want to talk to that other person so much, go hang out with them.

MeaghanandMichael

The worst offender of this I know? My 20 year old brother.

I wonder if it is an age thing at all?

laurenclaire1386

I don't do it in restaurants at dinner. I have a thing about phones and dinner time. Dinner time is bonding time and when people have their phones out during meals, it drives me crazy.  But sitting at a table at a bar at happy hour? Hell yeah. I guess if food's not involved, it's ok. That's a weird caveat, I guess.

sarah0725

I try not to do it, I really do. But sometimes I'm in Delaware, and FI is in Wisconsin, and it's been a month since I saw him last, and then he sends me some cute message, and then all my will to resist technology melts.

I try not to do it all the time, and it really does bug me when another person is completely absorbed in their phone when I'm trying to talk to them, making me a Hippo Crate.

I think a lot of us have this feeling that if we text someone instead of calling them, we "won't be bothering them" but will still get the info we need. This is probably a false assumption.

AdeleDazeem

I think this is just so rude.  In fact, I think most behavoir involving cell phones is rude.

BecW2be

I've only done it if Manda is home alone or with Chloe and I don't answer any texts except hers. This rarely happens, but it has happened. And if we are all together then all phones go into purses or pockets. I cannot stand to see kids texting at dinner. It irks me to no end.

crfische

Oh yeah, I don't do it if we're out for dinner, but if we're just hanging out in the bar, everyone has their phones out.

tenofcups4me

No I don't. And I think it's extraordinarily rude and just plain weird. I noticed at a party a couple of weeks ago that one of our friends was sitting off by himself texting -- it's so important to connect with people online that you're ignoring people who are actually there in front of you? Bizarre.

tlv204

This might be my biggest pet peeve EVER.  Like, I hate this more than grammatical idiots. I think it is so incredibly rude to ignore the person you are out with to talk to someone more important.  I don't answer my phone either unless it's someone we're meeting up with or a 2 am call from a family member that might be an emergency. When I go out with friends I want to talk to those friends.

acissej0786

I leave my phone on the table if I don't bring my purse but I would never have a texting conversation while out. I think it is rude unless there are other circumstances like some of the ones already posted

Kati0105

If I'm at a casual dinner with FI we'll usually both have our phones out so we can check email/receive texts but we definitely don't spend a great deal of time texting during dinner.  With anyone other than FI, I leave my phone in my purse.

luckyme502

I hate this behavior and think it is so rude!!!  I have a relative who does this constantly and I just hate it!  She will text and then make phone calls and talk to people while we are out together, dinner, shopping, hanging out at the house, just in mid conversation, pick up the phone and start talking to someone else, WTF?1?

aMrsin09

as other PPs have stated, I'll do it if we're trying to coordinate plans for the rest of the evening.
The last job I had, I had to do it all the time.  My Acct Supervisor would send the team messages all the time, day or night, and we had to respond.

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_random-poll-something-bugs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:212fefe2-3615-438e-a704-cb0485c4cf3fPost:62f04821-bc08-43e9-b8c5-092d43d580f4">Re: Random poll about something that bugs me.</a>:
[QUOTE]The worst offender of this I know? My 20 year old brother. I wonder if it is an age thing at all?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I completely think this is an age thing as my 21 year old sister does it all the time.

On a related note, it also really bugs be that FI will answer the phone at the table.  I can think of very few phone calls that can't wait the 5 seconds it takes to say "excuse me for a moment"

lyndausvi

It really, really.  really pisses me off when people text while I'm with them on a dinner date.

I'm mean come on,  we (whether me inviting you or you inviting us) decided to have an evening together.  There are very few things that can be deemed an emergency enough to 'ok' you texting someone else.

  If something is on the pipeline because of a sickness or something,  then more than likely I would know that and understandi. if not the emergency would have to be so great you would actually have to leave the 'date' to attend to waht is going on.

pooh8402

my phone stays in my purse while I am at dinner. I hate when other people answer their phones and texts, and FI does this ALL. THE. TIME. even when his parents are eating with us. drives me absolutely effing nuts and I'm forever asking him to put the phone up.

and I don't think it's an age thing because FI is 31 and should know better. hell, he's usually lecturing me on being more polite to people.

JessAndTrav

I do it, but only if others have their phones out and are doing the same thing. It also depends on the crowd that I'm with, where we are, etc.

I don't do it if someone is talking to me directly about something, and I do get irked if someone does it while I'm talking directly to them.

EDIT: And I also don't do it during the actual meal.

SparrowSong

No, I think it's exceptionally rude. Live interaction should always come before cell phone useage - texting or answering calls. Cell phones should be for when you are sitting there alone. Voice mails and texts can wait 15, 30 minutes until a point when you are not being rude to answer them.

I miss the days before cell phones, I really do. I think they've made society a more self-centered and rude place.