Good old fashioned family Christmas

brookelynpaisley

I have a new reason to dislike my FIL. DH and I went to their house on the 23rd to have our Christmas with them. FIL decided long before DH or I got there that he wasn't going to be there. He called MIL multiple times at work (not allowed at her job) and the last time told her that he wasn't going to be home that evening. So we're there to celebrate Christmas and he's at a bar. He eventually came home, slurring and trying to make conversation. I know from FSIL that this is the type of stuff he does for every holiday, and apparently DH is fed up because he wouldn't talk to his dad in more than 2 word responses. It's just crappy that my FIL has this need to ruin other happy days.

He did something similar for his own birthday 6 weeks ago - refused to come out of his bedroom. He's also the guy who - if you remember - abandoned FMIL in another city over a miscommunication. I'm honestly just glad that MIL seems to not be making excuses for him anymore and is finally admitting that he's an a-hole. I think she's been emotionally torn down for a very long time and it's about time she did something positive for her.

Anyone else? Fun in-law Christmas stories? or did I miss them all already?

sarabellam

Your FIL is a complete ass. IL stories? Not mine, but my brother's IL's were kind of, well, hmm. 2 days before Christmas, I spent almost the entire day cooking desserts for Christmas dinner. Christmas Day my brother, his wife and I started cooking at noon for dinner. We cooked all day, then her family (all 20 or so of them) came for dinner. Ate crap-tons of food, drank copious amount of wine, ate enough dessert to put a person in a diabetic coma, then proceeded to sit and play games in the dining room while my mom, dad and I cleaned up the kitchen. Yeah, they didn't bring anything, didn't help prepare, and didn't help clean up.

brookelynpaisley

How ungrateful and rude!! That sucks. I swear, stories like that really make me want to be sure that DH and I teach our children to be both gracious hosts and thankful guests.

SarahPLiz

My step dad is a non-verbal communicator and can be very manipulative and extremely passive agressive. He has been offended by my sis and bro-in-law many times over their 12 year marriage (longer than his marriage to my mom) but they, for the life of them, can't figure out what they did wrong. Because they don't feel welcome at my mom's house, my sister and bro-in-law don't often make the effort and incur the expense to come home for Christmas. They haven't been in about 10 years.
This year they flew to Austin and we all drove in together (with my FI). We got into our hometown on the evening of the 23rd and went to my mom's, but SD was nowhere to be found. We spent the night and the next day with my aunt (family tradition since we were babies) and then got to my mom's at 9am on Christmas day so we could go to Mass with them. NONE of us are really religious and are definitely not Catholic, but we were there in our church clothes ready to repext their traditions and honor their faith by going to mass as a family. SD apparently went to midnight mass, so he was out visiting his family. WHen we got back, he was in the out-building tending to the meat for dinner. When FI and BIL went to get the extra table and chairs, he acted like he was on the phone so they wouldn't talk to him. He LIKES FI, though. After a while, BIL went out to the outbuilding and confronted SD. they talked for 2.5 hours. Step-sister and her family came over and he didn't even come out to greet them. His plan was to stay in the outbuilding all day until we all left. He was going to miss Christmas with his wife, one of his daughters  and 2 grandchildren just because he wanted to shut out my sister and BIL.. how childish. We nominated little sis to go out there and ask them when the meat would be ready because we were all hungry, and that's when he finally came inside. He was happy from that point on, and I think he and BIL have agreed to disagree and just move on.

But he is childish and manipulative and totally expects others to read his mind to know how they offended him. It made the trip especially stressful for sis and bro, who happened to have lost his own grandmother on the morning of the 23rd, but Im glad it ended relatively well.

lauralaur

I think I was the bad in-law this year. BIL made a real dig at his mom during his toast at our wedding and I was really ticked. When I saw BIL and SIL at Christmas they were talking about how funny BIL's joke was. It's a looong story, but H, BIL, and SIL give their mom non-stop grief because they're bitter with her and they need to move on, you'd have to know the whole story, but H has finally gotten to a point where he has moved on and he doesn't give his mom hell anymore (although that may have had something to do with my saying that I couldn't marry a man who so blatantly disrespects his mom, but I digress...). Anyway, I said "some day you guys will let this go." SIL responds with "Never. I thought it was funny." I say "I was mortified." BIL was really selfish through the whole wedding process and would never stop to think that he had just humiliated his mom in front of all of her family and that he was pissing off the bride. Then when he does realize it, it's "oh well it was funny." IT WASN'T! My brother gave a toast after BIL that was really short, so then BIL starts making fun of my brother's toast saying that he was nervous my brother's would be better than his but then he didn't have anything to worry about. I said "my brother's toast was so short because he was so thrown off by what you said about your mom that he didn't know what to say."

I'm sorry this is so long, but I just feel so bad for their mom. She doesn't deserve the crap they give her. I've been b!tching to H about it for so long because he doesn't stand up for me or his mom and it drives me crazy. Then he starts to get upset because all I do is b!tch about his brother, but he's just been awful lately and I'm so sick of it.

sarabellam

lauralaur, sounds like your BIL and SIL put the "fun" in disfunctional. Whatever their beef is with their mother, your wedding was NOT the time or place to verbally slap at her.

JanoBean75

My FI and his mother haven't spoken in years. Not sure where she is or what her current last name is. Or how many husbands she's gone through in the past two decades.

He and his father haven't spoken in two years. That was at his father's third wedding. FI's grandmother (his mom's mother) passed away two days later and his dad didn't acknowledge it at all. He doesn't know how to be a dad; just offers money. Because money cures all.

FI's step-mother called and left a voicemail the other day. I guess it's time to try to communicate once again.