Revoking the marriage license

mwhitson14

(from TIME)

"Why are people who are so bad at mating for life allowed to keep pairing up?"

"In no other area of life can grown people flame out so often and so badly and still get official permission to go ahead and do the same thing again. If your driving is hazardous to those around you, your license is suspended."

"How many marriages are too many? Given the trajectory (more second marriages break up than first, and 75% of third marriages break up), shouldn't a referee step in after the third or fourth and suspend play for the good of all?"

Whatcha think?

andyandhillary

The difference between driving hazardously and constantly re-marrying is that your marriages (usually) don't hurt other people.

As a libertarian, I think you should do whatcha want. 

MeaghanandMichael

No way. Being a poor driver directly endagers other people. Having a crappy marriage record could be for a million different reasons that I am really not at liberty to judge. I say let people do what they want and it is up to their personal families, friends and religions, to take care of the moral aspects of hurting people and being irresponsible (if that is the case).

beatlesgirl25

The problem I have with this excerpt is that it implies that the person with multiple failed marriages is the primary offender. Obviously some people are drawn to unhealthy partnerships, but it takes two to decide to marry, and often times for the marriage to fail as well. So taking away one person's right to marry won't "fix" them, or save another person from getting divorced.

Plus, revoking the right to marry for two serial divorcees wouldn't stop them from being together in the same potentially unhealthy relationship anyway, so what's the point? The consequences fall largely on the two people getting divorced, not the rest of society.

Mrs.B6302007

[QUOTE]"shouldn't a referee step in after the third or fourth and suspend play for the good of all?"[/QUOTE]

Maybe they should do this for dead beat dads instead.  Seems like a more productive use of time and money.

lyndausvi

I do not see the point.

MIL has been married twice.  DH's father 5 times.  MIL would not marry again, DH's father who the hell knows, regardless I do not see why we would stop them.

mwhitson14

Interesting points ladies I had a feeling this is the way you would feel, but I thought it might wake up this board a little bit.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_revoking-marriage-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:22531902-33be-4b0d-a153-999e5a4be846Post:b2da9cb5-d08c-43d9-bdea-c64b29cc58ac">Re: Revoking the marriage license</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe they should do this for dead beat dads instead.  Seems like a more productive use of time and money.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

Agreed! It seems a more concrete way to measure negative consequences of failed marriages as well (if kids are involved).

Mrs.B6302007

IF there are even marriages involved.

beatlesgirl25

That's a great point, MrsB. I was thinking something similar about gay partnerships, since often they don't have the right to marry legally, but obviously can still experience relationship failures. Or for that matter, does this article suggest going the way of gay marriage bans for hetero people with multiple failed marriages? It's just as ridiculous, IMO.

mwhitson14

Or for that matter, does this article suggest going the way of gay marriage bans for hetero people with multiple failed marriages?

It's more of just an opinion piece with no real solution

jasmineh7777

As a bleeding heart liberal, I think people should do what they want too.

It is no one's job to keep my emotions in tact than my own. FWIW, my Dad's closest friend was married 5 times. His first wife was 14, and died at 17. He was married to his 5th wife for over 20+ years. (He just recently passed away.)

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_revoking-marriage-license?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:22531902-33be-4b0d-a153-999e5a4be846Post:c1b2ed1b-2601-4360-917a-1f59a7a03ab1">Re: Revoking the marriage license</a>:
[QUOTE]Or for that matter, does this article suggest going the way of gay marriage bans for hetero people with multiple failed marriages? It's more of just an opinion piece with no real solution :)
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]

Oh, I figured whit. :) I just meant it might be interesting if they were trying to plant the seeds of indignation that heteros might feel at having their right to marry taken away. Holy run on sentence, sorry. It would have been kinda sneaky, but clever. The whole idea of restricting the right to marry isn't usually something straight people have to worry about anymore, so I kind of appreciate the way this article brought it up for us to ponder.

mwhitson14

Ooh yeah bg. I see where you're going with that now.

jajph1974

For obvious reasons, I do not agree with that article excerpt.

khornack

Horary fascism! I am completely incapable of making any decision on my own and need the government to make my decisions for me. Maybe they can start 'matching' those with failed marriages together.

Goldlie11

I have a family member who is on her 3rd marriage.  The first marriage they were young and her husband was unfaithful.  The second marriage her husband developed a drug habit and became abusive.  She's been married for over 10 years to her current husband.  I don't really see how it's the government's business how many times people get married.  After all, they are making money off of the licenses.  

scoetto

My mom's on her third marriage. First one she left for my dad. Second one my dad left (after 24 years) for another woman. Third one she has been married for 5 years or so and is happy. And I don't see her marrying again after this guy.

As far as my situation, I'm J's 2nd wife and this is the only time I've ever been married. The first one he was young and married because he got her pregnant. He thought it was the right thing to do (at 21). J & I married when we were both 29.

In either of these cases do I think the right of marriage needs to be revoked. If Larry King or Elizabeth Taylor want to marry 9 or 10 times, go for it. It's not my business nor my problem.